When I was growing up, goldfish were the ultimate contraband. The easy-access packaging (a Ziplock bag, usually) was too tantalizing, and my mother was often too exhausted to resist our solicitations. But few were the hours before my sister was crouched over the fishbowl, gingerly lifting the doomed thing out of its habitat and into her Fritos-stained hands--"I'm petting him!" The ones that weren't tortured this way were usually belly-up within weeks; however, if we'd been aware that many goldfish actually aren't dead when they float or "swim" upside down, maybe things could have been different...Well, maybe our hopefuls wouldn't have been able to top the lifespan of Goldie, the UK goldfish who died at 45, but still! Apparently, constipation in goldfish makes it tough for them to maintain equilibrium, tipping them upside down. But if you switch up their diets--boiled peas (as long as you remove the skins) are especially good--they should deflate in no time.