A Job For Which I Think I'm Qualified: Naming Your Kids. Or At Least Your Pets.


In past discussions that took place exclusively in the confines of my head, I've said my dream job would be naming people's pets. I like animals, could ostensibly work from anywhere, and would like seeing my work appear on bowls and tags and Christmas stockings.

However, I've never been offered this chance. Perhaps my conservative approach to naming my own pets "“ Jake, Rosie and Bailey "“ fails to inspire confidence. Though in my defense, our cat Rosie was a boy, which wins us points for both creativity and gender confusion. (I'm more than happy to offer my naming services gratis, to help build my portfolio. Email away.)

Gawker had a great post yesterday on the booming baby-naming business, which was covered by The Wall Street Journal last week. I may need to branch out this pipe dream.

A few highlights:

  • "Madeline turned to a consultant when naming both of her children, Ross, 3, and Natalie, eight months. That consultant, Maryanna Korwitts, a self-described nameologist based in Downers Grove, Ill., charges up to $350 for a package including three half-hour phone calls and a personalized manual describing the name's history, linguistic origins and personality traits."
  • "A California mother of two who's expecting a daughter this fall spent $475 to have a numerologist test her favorite name, Leah Marie, to see if it had positive associations. (It did.)"
  • "Karen spent months reading baby books and scouring Web sites before settling on Nicole Josephine. But now, four years later, she says she wishes she'd chosen something less trendy -- and has even considered legally changing her daughter's name to Josephine Marie. 'I'm having namer's remorse,' she says."
  • "When Julie typed her favorite name for a girl, Zoe Rose, into the search engine, she was forced to go back to the drawing board. The name was already taken -- by a British porn star. 'It was on the first page that came up,' she says."

Other related links:

Got a great name suggestion for our expecting readers? Let's hear it. And I'm serious about offering up my pet-naming services. I need to hone my skills.