Suspicious Checkout Line Combinations

Chris Higgins

In the lead-up to Christmas, I made a series of trips to the grocery store to pick up odd items. Each time I managed to forget half of what I needed, so I just kept going back when I thought up a new thing or two to buy. On my third trip, I realized I was standing in the checkout line with this combination of items:

Underwear (1 pack)
Clear vinyl tarp
Tom Petty "Greatest Hits" CD
Big box of Ginger Snap cookies

What did the checkout lady think I was going to do? Thinking about this reminded me of a story I heard in college. A friend of mine had gone to Wal-Mart near midnight on a Friday to purchase:

Smashing Pumpkins tape
Single white tee shirt
Box of shotgun shells

No comment from the checkout clerk. When I mentioned this line of thinking to a friend, she came back with another classic:

Box of wine
Discount DVD of "It's a Wonderful Life"
Big knife

I know this is silly, but let's hear it: what's the most suspicious combination of items you've bought?