Consequences of a less than punctual life

I've encountered my fair share of punctuality stories--tales of extreme punishments & horrid ultimatums. I've even lived through a few of my own--like the time I was ten minutes late to high school volleyball practice & the coach just smiled and told me to take a seat in the bleachers while the rest of the team ran "suicide sprints" as punishment. There was nothing quite like that; I could just feel all my meager social collateral evaporating.

But the most egregious story of all came from someone I recently met, who told me that a ehabitually tardy actor on the set of a film once begged him to break his fingers because he needed a good--and verifiable--excuse for being late, or else the director would fire him. My friend tried to talk him out of it, but the actor wouldn't relent, and my friend found himself breaking this guy's fingers: two, to be safe. The actor kept his job...But who knows to what lengths he'll go next time! Elsewhere, Ray Emery, goalie for the Ottawa Senators, is being "fined substantially" after arriving four (4!) minutes late to practice: "Emery could be docked up to one-187th of his $2.75 million salary, roughly $14,700." Have you ever been punished for tardiness in an extremely profound, draconian, or just plain avant-garde way?

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The Simple Way to Reheat Your French Fries and Not Have Them Turn Into a Soggy Mess
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Some restaurant dishes are made to be doggy-bagged and reheated in the microwave the next day. Not French fries: The more crispy and delectable they are when they first arrive on your table, the more of a soggy disappointment they’ll be when you try to revive them at home. But as The Kitchn recently shared, there’s a secret to making leftover fries you’ll actually enjoy eating.

The key is to avoid the microwave altogether. Much of the appeal of fries comes from their crunchy, golden-brown exterior and their creamy potato center. This texture contrast is achieved by deep-frying, and all it takes is a few rotations around a microwave to melt it away. As the fries heat up, they create moisture, transforming all those lovely crispy parts into a flabby mess.

If you want your fries to maintain their crunch, you need to recreate the conditions they were cooked in initially. Set a large pan filled with about 2 tablespoons of oil for every 1 cup of fries you want to cook over medium-high heat. When you see the oil start to shimmer, add the fries in a single layer. After about a minute, flip them over and allow them to cook for half a minute to a minute longer.

By heating up fries with oil in a skillet, you produce something called the Maillard Reaction: This happens when high heat transforms proteins and sugars in food, creating the browning effect that gives fried foods their sought-after color, texture, and taste.

After your fries are nice and crisp, pull them out of the pan with tongs or a spatula, set them on a paper towel to absorb excess oil, and sprinkle them with salt. Now all you need is a perfect burger to feel like you’re eating a restaurant-quality meal at home.

[h/t The Kitchn]

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Bone Collector
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