Caption Contest No. 10 - Winner!

Thanks to all who voted during our 10th Caption Contest. It was a close race, so we're going to give a runner-up prize as well as a t-shirt to the winner. Congrats to our two winners! We'll be in touch via e-mail about your prizes. Meanwhile, on with the winning captions...
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Winner: In Soviet Russia, party crashes you! Runner-up: Melvin now realized that the piano on Thursday and the wardrobe yesterday were not freak accidents"¦.someone wanted him dead.