We apologize for doing this on Christmas morning, but it's time someone spilled the dirt on the Three Kings, and just how wise they really were. While the story of the cheersome threesome is oft-repeated through manger scenes and Christmas carols, only one of the four Gospels (Matthew) makes mention of visitors from the East. And while scripture does list the three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Matthew doesn't specify how many people brought them. In fact, based on the writings of early Christian leaders, the wise men weren't even kings, but rather Persian astrologers. However, we totally understand if no one wants to sing "We Indeterminate Number of Zoroastrian Astrologer Priests of Modern-Day Iran Are."
Image via the highly recommended Brick Testament.