Archives of Crap: the World's Worst Videos

Ransom Riggs

We've had fun with ridiculous videos here on the blog before (notably with this terrible music videos post), but I'm clearly not the only one out there trolling YouTube and my home video collection for nuggets of retro cheez. Everything is Terrible is a blog devoted to mining and exposing the worst of the worst (and the weirdest of the worst): scenes from obscure and awful films, instructional videos and infomercials that never should've seen the light of day, kids shows you wish you could unsee. (You run out of superlatives pretty quickly.) Here are some of my favorite selections from the more than 200 videos on EIT's blog.

One thing EIT does well -- besides simply curating these profoundly bad videos -- is to edit them slightly, in ways that highlight their strangeness to great effect. For instance, replacing the original soundtrack to this Rejuvanique facemask infomercial with "You Are So Beautiful" takes what might've been mildly creepy and instantly makes it the stuff of nightmares:

Sometimes, just a clip taken out of context is sufficiently weird, and no editing is needed.

80s cheez is a deep, deep well. Check out these kool kidz!

There's nothing like a rap song to make kids want to eat their vegetables. Presenting "the Vegaboogie!"

Had enough creepy adults? How about a creepy Scottish kid:

The perfect toy for your creepy kid: the Pimp doll! Pimp even "comes with his very own dagger for administering quick street justice!"

Sometimes ultra-short clips are the best. For instance:

Eccentric personalities always make great videos. This is from my own YouTube "favorites" collection -- it's the opera lady! Warning: a few NSFW outbursts near the end.

And that's your daily dose of retro surreality.