The Late Movies: Creepy Commercials

Mario Marsicano

I don't watch a lot of commercials, mostly because I DVR my favorite shows, but also because I usually flip channels or zone out whenever they come on. But lately, a certain thin, pale blonde woman has managed to hold my attention, the same way those dead twins got Danny's attention in The Shining. Creepy commercials just fascinate me, mostly because I always wonder how they get produced in the first place. Do the creative directors set out to make a Twilight Zone episode, or is it just bad luck? In honor of the ghostly blonde starring in my nightmares, I present a collection of some of the creepiest spots I've ever seen.

Let's start with an instant classic. I can't tell you how many weeks of therapy I would need if this ever happened to me.

What happens when you try using a certain technology before its time? You get Freddy Krueger with a bow tie.

If you were competing with the Energizer Bunny, would you use a family of mannequins that look like they escaped from a Stephen King novel?

A commercial for Nytol shouldn't keep me awake at night hiding under the covers, should it?

You mean...these things live in my toes? Great news, guys. Great news.

Exactly what species is this? And how high was the art director who thought it up? (And can we make them attack the guy?)

Who would've thought you could take Santa and the Easter Bunny to a dark, Quentin Tarantino place? Thank you Emerald Nuts.

This is probably just a personal one, but Bob creeps me right the heck out. Go away, Bob.

And finally, the woman to whom this collection is dedicated.

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