As long as the 99Â¢ Only Store continues to restock its shelves with bizarre merchandise, this post will continue to be a once-a-year feature. If you missed last year's, take a stroll over here. However, this year's finds are far superior and far more bizarre.
Take, for example, exhibit A)
While this might seem like a normal doll + accessories set, the sort of doll that gets washed up on the beach in Miami, that you avoid like a Man o' War, take a look closely at the translated copy on the front of the package:
On to exhibit B. I just couldn't help but smile that they were calling this a nuisance mask. Beyond that, take a close look at the copy:
Okay, here's exhibit C. I actually had to research this online because I couldn't get a feel for how this worked just by looking at the package. So the basic idea, as I gather now, is that you put the plastic fangs in your mouth, and then the candy, which starts to foam. The effect must be something like saliva coming from the vampire's mouth. Here's the copy I found online, btw: "Yummy tart powder candy that literally makes you foath (sic) at the mouth!"
Exhibit D is just so off, I can't believe it. What brilliant marketing mavens thought this up? Iron Man Bubble Bath? Are you serious? Wha???
Exhibit E is beyond me, too. I've seen plenty of lollipups for real, actual dogs, but for kids? Not sure why kids want lollipops shaped like dog biscuits, but there you go.
The warning on exhibit G made me laugh out loud. What do you suppose the good folks at Laser Pet Toy have against students?