Weird Website of the Week: Superuseless Superpowers

Ransom Riggs

Not every superhero gets to leap over tall buildings in a single bound or stop speeding bullets -- for every Superman, there's a Swamp-Man or a Matter-Eater Lad, the superfreaks you just have to feel a little sorry for. Well, now there's a whole website that takes this idea to the extreme, creating videos and wacky illustrations highlighting the stupidest superpowers imaginable. Like, for instance --

Healing punch!

Float like a butterfly and sting like the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad your ferocious fists instantly heal the damage you inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver a crushing Ivan Drago-like knockout. Yours leave your opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. At least until he counters with an uppercut to your esophagus.

13th bullet bulletproof

bulletfinal /

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Boink.

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When it comes to superheroes, a lot can happen in the blink of an eye. Like saving distressed damsels along train tracks, scooping up fallen tweens before they plunge into Niagara Falls, or lunch-time quickies in the Hall of Justice bathroom. For this superhero, the blink of an eye means something quite different. That's because every time he blinks, he produces a Polaroid of whatever he was looking at. We're not completely sure where the photos come out. But we have an idea.

What's the most useless superpower you can think of?