The Late Movies: the Worst of YouTube!

Ransom Riggs

Today's "Late Movies" is a bit like David's "Tuesday Turnip" column -- I searched YouTube for the phrase "worst ever" just to see what I'd find, and man did I find some awesomely horrible videos. They're schadenfreudtastic! And if there are any "worsts" I forgot, let me know in the comments!

Worst song ever

These high schoolers from Midland, Texas are called "Final Placement," and the video for their song "Shine" has been embraced by the internet for its pure awfulness. Even more fun, since this went viral, members of the band have been trying to blame one another for the song. Sounds like they're ready for a Behind the Music!

"Shine" by Final Placement from sharity world on Vimeo.

Worst fight scene ever

It's like they meant to shoot it in slow-motion but didn't have enough film, so they just told Shatner and the lizard guy to move real slow.

Worst boxer ever

"The Shadow" claims to be the creator of a technique called "Illusive Fighting," which seems to consist of little more than running away from his opponent. As one commenter wrote, "his technique would work better in an open field ... the only problem is the ropes."

The worst kung fu movie auditions ... EVER!

Worst comedian ever

A three-minute fat joke that doesn't have a punchline! Whew.

Worst group of singers ever

These are the Dutch Idols -- the winners of the Dutch spinoff of American Idol. They're not so good.

Worst solo singer ever

The original audio here has been floating around for years and has no video attached to it -- this video is a fan's lipsynched interpretation.

Worst CGI ever

Yeah, it's just a local commercial -- but even for local commercial CGI, this is bad.

Worst movie trailer ever

Speaking of terrible CGI, BIRDEMIC could be the new THE ROOM. See if you agree!

Other worst comedian ever

Worst Gary Busey movie ever

Check it out, Butt-horn!

Worst cat massage video ever

I mean best. I mean -- who's to decide?

Worst line reading ever

From the inimitable Troll 2.

Worst kid's show ever

It's gotta be Colby's Place, starring a big, talking, roller skating computer that memorizes Bible verses.

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