For a few years now, our friends over at Everything is Terrible have been combing the bargain VHS bin for wonderful dreck. And while their site features plenty of awful local commercials, clips from 80s movies we guarantee you've never heard of, and bizarre home instruction videos, the one thing they excel at finding more than almost anything else is rappin'. Which is to say, supremely bad raps. Raps so bad that they would make the most hardcore hip-hop fan which rapping was never invented. For some reason, many of the worst raps ever conceived are of an "educational" bent. I guess a spoonful of rappin' makes the medicine go down?
It seems only appropriate to start with an educational rap, of which there have been many over the years, because, you know, kids sure love that rappin'. Here's a little clip the guys at EIT cut together of all the math rap videos they could find.
Rap is also a great way to learn about fire safety. These kids should really be learning about the dangers of wide-angle lenses. GET YER FACE OUTTA MY LENS!
Here's an educational rap about redwood trees. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-BIG! Ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-RED!
A rapping Christian ventriloquist dummy pirate? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And check out his hand-pokin' dance move!
An Earth Day rap video starring a young Will Smith, Ice T and ... E.T.?!
This rappin' granny wants you to know, you can give up tobacco but still be smokin'! (So many dropped g's, I'm on overload.)
Yo, kids! Eat your danged vegetables already!