Embarrassed by your army-surplus desk chair? Tired of your second-hand pencil sharpener and bookends? Never fear! We're here to help you maximize the luxuriousness of your workspace.

Graf von Faber Castell seems to have cornered the market on swanky pencils with "The Perfect Pencil." It's marketed as "the culmination of the history of the pencil," and is sold for a cool $240. The only other pencil I found that even comes close to that price is greatbigstuff.com's gigantic 68" No. 2 pencil, costing $175:

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Faber Castell might be more famous, though, for their Pen of the Year series.

The Pen of the Year 2008 (pictured) sports a "chessboard-faceted citrine gemstone set in the platinum-plated end cap," while the 2006 edition contains ivory from a woolly mammoth.
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If you like your office supplies plated with gold, though, you can't go wrong with El Casco's collection, which includes the most glamorous staplers, hole punches, and tape dispensers I've ever seen. On Amazon, you can buy their beautiful gold-plated paper shredder.
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Still got money to throw around? You could buy a crystal motivational statuette for your desk, with small glass figures climbing mountains, lifting heavy objects with the power of teamwork, or inspirationally rolling a large glass ball up a hill.
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If you want office supplies that are a little bit offbeat, I'm pretty intrigued by Rite in the Rain's waterproof notebooks for the hardy adventurer (although Moleskine notebooks remain famously classy).
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But the weirdest office supply I found while researching this article has to be this stomach-shaped paper clip.
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So if you want to pimp your office desk, there are plenty of high-end lines to choose from—and I didn't even touch standard luxury goods like desk clocks or fancy stationery. But perhaps, when it comes down to it, the real luxury office item is printer ink—it costs more than human blood!