The Quick 10: 10 Awesome Ways to Quit Your Job


I've never been a flight attendant, but I have worked retail, which must be almost as infuriating. So I'm on Steven Slater's side - I understand the urge to just walk out, and doing it by grabbing a couple of beers and going down the emergency slide is kind of awesome (unprofessional, yes, dangerous, maybe"¦ but awesome). In case you're contemplating an equally newsworthy exit sometime soon, here are a few ideas for you.

1. Deploy the emergency slide. If you're one of the few people who haven't seen the reports, here's my favorite. It tops my list because it looks like Bloomberg used one of their designers to make a little cartoon of a guy sliding down the emergency chute with two beers hoisted gleefully over his head. You can almost hear him saying, "Whee!"

2. Write it on a cake.

3. Use Cheez Whiz. A grocery store employee in Seattle showed up to work drunk around 5 a.m. last November. When some fellow co-workers tried to calm him down, he grabbed some Cheez Whiz and wrote "I QUIT" on the large front window. The report says Cheez Whiz, but I have my suspicions that it was Easy Cheese"¦ everyone knows an aerosol is easier to write with than a squeeze bottle.

4. Dance to Vanilla Ice.

5. Stomp off in the middle of your TV show. Jack Paar, the host of The Tonight Show before Johnny Carson, was angry that NBC had censored a joke about a water closet. He walked off mid-show, leaving Hugh Downs to pick up the slack. Paar returned to the show less than a month later and quipped, "As I was saying before I was interrupted...I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked...and there isn't."

6. Write a novel. Early in his career, Ernest Hemingway was stuck in a three-book contract he didn't want to be in. The contract came with the provision that if a work was submitted and rejected, the multi-book deal would be completely terminated. Hemingway banged out a novella about pretentious writers in just 10 days and submitted it. It was promptly rejected, and voila! He was out of his unhappy contract.

7. Put your design skills to good use. One clever designer made a realistic-looking error message that conveyed his feelings about his job. It's, um, strongly worded, so I'll just link to it.

8. Quit during your radio show.

9. Quit during your radio show, part two.

10. Reveal crucial details of one of the most anxiously awaited books of all time. If you're going to quit a bookstore right before the release of the final Harry Potter"¦ well, I think you know what to do.

If there were no consequences, how would you quit your job? And what do you think about the way the JetBlue attendant quit?