Mental Floss

The Weird Week in Review

Miss Cellania

Swordfish Used as a Weapon

Two men in Colac, Victoria, Australia were injured during a drunken brawl at a private home. A 50-year-old unnamed man who had been fighting with his friend left the house and returned with a swordfish skeleton, which he began thrusting toward the other man as if it were a sword. His 40-year-old opponent was forced to parry. Both received minor injuries, and the older man was taken to the local hospital. Police have not decided whether to press charges.

Woman Mistakes Superglue for Eyedrops

It's a classic mistake. Irmgard Holm of Phoenix, Arizona has several eyedrop medications because of cataract surgery, but what she grabbed was a bottle of superglue.

"The bottles are identical and I am not young anymore, but I am not senile," says Holm.

She tried washing the adhesive out, but the quick-drying glue did its job and sealed her eye shut. Paramedics and hospital staff had to get it open and wash out her eye before major damage was done.

"They had to cut off the glue substance and it was all hard and in the eye, and I couldn't even see."

Her case is not as rare as one would hope. The Food and Drug administration is looking into the matter.

The Naked Cowboy Wants to be President

Robert Burck put on a suit and tie to announce his candidacy for the 2012 presidential election. He plans to seek the nomination of the Tea Party. Burck is better known as the Naked Cowboy, a New York City street performer who plays guitar in his underwear and poses for photographs with tourists in Times Square. Burck played it straight during his announcement, giving a half-hour ultra-conservative speech at Times Square. The exception: he declared his loyalty for Fruit of the Loom brand underwear.

Smoking Chimp Dies of Old Age

A chimpanzee named Charlie passed away at a the Mangaung zoo in Bloemfontein, South Africa. Charlie was famous for his smoking habit, which he picked up when visitors threw him cigarettes. The zoo staff tried to prevent the chimp from smoking, but Charlie learned to hide and smoke. Despite the cigarettes, Charlie was 52 years old when he died, about ten years past the average lifespan for a chimpanzee. An autopsy will be performed to find the exact cause of death.

Being Justin Beiber

Imagine that you have the same name as a celebrity. Then imagine having the name of the hottest teen heartthrob of the year: Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber of Jacksonville, Florida, who's had that name a couple of decades longer than the singer, suffers the consequences. He was kicked off Facebook after six months, presumably for impersonating a celebrity, but he's having trouble contacting anyone about the deletion. After he changed his phone number and put it in his wife's name, it was posted on a fan site, so the phone rings all the time -except when Bieber turns it off. Bieber says there's an upside to the situation. For the first time in his life, everyone knows how to pronounce his name correctly!

Scary Clown Ride Sparks Protest

Alton Towers is a popular theme park in Staffordshire, England. The resort recently announced a new thrill ride called the Carnival of Screams, featuring "killer clowns" that reach for visitors. However, the attraction is touching a sore spot with professional clowns, who are protesting at the park's gates.

One protestor, Fips the Clown, said: ”We are protesting because we feel the Alton Towers Resort’s new horror maze, Carnival of Screams, is an unfair depiction of clowns.

”It only serves to reinforce stereotypes of clowns as evil.

”I can’t believe this – it has taken us years to get over Stephen King’s ‘IT’ and now this just adds to further damage the reputation of clowns worldwide.

”This will do for clowns what Jaws did for sharks.”

The Carnival of Screams will only be open from October 16 through the 31st.

Postal Union Election Delayed After Ballots Lost in the Mail

The American Postal Workers Union traditionally holds their internal elections by mail. This year they decided to extend the voting for an extra week. The reason? Several thousand members did not receive a ballot in the mail. Only about 39,000 ballots were returned, many less than expected. Members can request a ballot to be sent and now have until October 14th to return them -by mail.