The Tumblr White People Rapping Poorly is devoted to cataloging, you guessed it: bad raps by white people. It's off the hook...um...y'all. Their mission statement: "Science has show that for every Eminem, there are approximately 598,467 white people that try to rap but can't. This is devoted to bringing you the best of the worst."
A classic. Sort of.
Denny Blaze writes: "I'm just a middle class guy who's trying to express myself through my rap music. Once you watch my video, you'll just be BLAZED! This is THE ORIGINAL FULL LENGTH VIDEO including an MTV message!!!!"
Cookin' With Gas
The video's poster writes: "An educational rap video on the natural gas cooking safety that I performed in. What a crazy awful mullet!" Note: contains at least one non-white person rapping. The quality of said rapping is unaffected.
Liberal Democrats Rap
Actual lyrics: "Get the Lib Dems / in the house by the Thames / and the country'll be all right / so you can sleep tight." The video's posters do include this note: "DISCLAIMER: This video should be taken with a tongue in cheek approach."
BioRap (DNA Replication and Protein Synthesis with a Beat)
The site's author writes:
This, without exaggeration, is the worst thing I have ever posted here. It is everything that this site is based on rolled into one. Terrible topic, awful rapping, [expletive] video, and the cherry on top: Splicing in random clips of black guys rapping to give it some semblance of street cred. I normally don't explicitly ask people to reblog things, but if you haven't, this is the one. The world needs to know about this so that it never happens again.
Spoiler alert: this video kinda ruins the plot of Twilight. And these girls' street cred.
Math Teacher Raps Run This Town (Jay-Z) - Quadratic Equation / Formula
Points for effort, I guess. The site's author writes:
There's a bunch of videos of math teachers taking equations and problems and making them into raps. They're all terrible, and I suggest if you have some time look at the related videos if you want to cry about the current state of humanity....
Tufts Rap (Featuring Harry Potter References)
Laura Potel wanted to go to Tufts. Let's hope this rap helped.
MC Frontalot: A White Person Rapping Properly
My favorite nerdcore rapper shows us how it's done. (Warning: contains some NSFW language.)