Words You Invented for Everyday Objects

Jason English

On Fridays, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else's reply, whatever you want. On to this week's topics of discussion...

1. I don't know where she got this, but my almost-three-year-old daughter calls her suitcase her "responsibility." Now my wife and I use that word for our luggage, too. What incorrect (or invented) words for everyday objects did you, your siblings or your kids dream up?

2. When I was growing up, there was no greater villain than the local guy who burned down the Sizzler. Our teachers loved to dangle him out there. Go to the bathroom without a pass? "Keep this up and you'll end up like the guy who burned down the Sizzler." Forget your homework? "The guy who burned down the Sizzler forgot a lot of homework when he was your age." I guess it worked—the Sizzler was never again the target of arsonists. Who was your town's "worst case scenario" resident?

3. What was your favorite book on the day you finished high school? Do you still hold it in high esteem today? (If you have not yet finished high school, you have my permission to pick an arbitrary date and inform us of your favorite book on that day.)

4. According to the homemade signage in my neighborhood, it's garage sale season! After Ethan Trex told me he found a slang dictionary from 1975, I've been hoping to stumble into something equally helpful (a "gay-cat" is a hobo not wise to the ways of hobo life, and considered unacceptable by his fellows). What's the most tremendous garage sale item you've seen? I'll let you define "tremendous" any way you'd like.

Have a great weekend, and Happy Father's Day to all the dads!