The Comedic Guide to Surviving the Mayan Apocalypse

Colin Patrick

It seems that people can’t get enough of “The End is Near!” panic. The latest apocalypse to threaten us (but not really) is due later this year thanks to the Mayan calendar running out or restarting or falling off the wall or something like that – it really depends who is telling you about it.

Thankfully, Nick Offerman and Chris Pratt – who star as Ron Swanson and Andy Dwyer on Parks and Recreation – have constructed a hilarious end of days plan in twelve easy-to-follow steps. The list makes it apparent that political correctness and laws will be the first things to go in a post-apocalyptic world. So the easily offended should read this NSFW action agenda with extreme caution.

It begins with these obvious actions…

Fill the tub with water. For this tub, as well as the contents of your hot-water heater, will be your drinking supply. Fill the sinks with scotch—and cover, obviously.

...And continues on from there. Enjoy and stay safe.