11 Things That Have No Business Being Lip Balms

Sure, everyone’s tried cherry or mint lip balms, but why settle for bland when you can go for bizarre? Here are 11 of the weirdest lip gloss flavors ever. Some of them might seem tasty, but still, the idea is just plain weird.

1. Peeps

If you just can’t get enough Peeps, you can always go ahead and enjoy vanilla marshmallow Peeps lip gloss all year round.

2. Corndogs

Corn dogs are delicious, but without the delightful accentuation of ketchup and mustard, would you really want to bother with this battery balm?

3. Paula Deen

If you think that everything tastes better with butter, you’ll probably enjoy the flavor on your lips as well. Well, Paula Deen, the world’s most famous butter aficionado, is here for you with her own butter-flavored lip balm.

4. Cheetos

If you’ve always yearned for a way to enjoy the cheesy deliciousness of Cheetos without ending up with all of that bright orange residue all over your fingers, maybe this balm is just what you’ve been dreaming of all these years.

5. Bacon That's Safe for Vegetarians

Everyone loves bacon, right? So why not rub the sweet taste of America’s favorite smoked pork product over your mouth? And because this is made by the same guys responsible for Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, it’s both vegetarian and kosher.

6. Buttered Popcorn

It might be against the rules to smuggle your own food into the movie theater, but no one can stop you from carrying in your own Pop Secret Buttered Popcorn Lip Balm. No word on how this compares to Ms. Deen’s buttery lip gloss.

7. French Fries

If you love french fries but want to bypass all those empty calories, this lip gloss might be the next best thing.

8. Nachos

Or maybe it's nacho residue that your lips have been missing.

9. Cheez-It

Has anyone ever actually thought to themselves, “I wish I could just rub Cheez-It’s all over my lips every day?” Well, even if they have, they might be disappointed with the actual flavor of this one, which is described as being sweet like cereal with a touch of butter and a very subtle cheesy flavor in the background.

10. Absinthe

Any real absinthe drinker knows the flavor of the liquor is only secondary to the effects. That’s why this absinthe lip balm seems a bit silly.

11. Dill Pickles

Sometimes you just want to grab a handful of dill pickles and rub them all over your lips.

* * *
There are plenty more weird lip gloss flavors out there, some that sound tasty, like the Girl Scout ones, and many that sound gross, like those above. What was the weirdest you’ve ever come across? Did you actually try it?