17 Overly Optimistic Book Titles

There have always been how-to and inspirational guides, but it wasn't until about 100 years ago that they began to use the "you can do it" trope right in their titles. The first one I could find, from 1913, was titled simply, You Can (subtitle: "A collection of brief talks on the most important topic in the world—your success"). Since then, more and more books every year have told us what we "can" do. Most of the claims are reasonable, even if they do make it all seem a bit too easy. But these particular titles badly overestimate our abilities.

1. You Can Make A Stradivarius Violin. Joseph V. Reid, 1967.


Well, get to it then. This will save you a lot of money!

2. You Can Master Life. James Gordon Gilkey, 1938.


Honestly, some people don't know how to show their life who's boss.

3.You Can Change the World!: The Christopher approach. James Keller, 1948.


I guess this didn't work the last time I tried it because I was using the Robert approach.

4. You Can be Happy with Dental Plates. Max M. Schwartz, 1945.

Nope. I don't believe this for a second.

5. You Can Train Your Cat. Jo and Paul Loeb, 1977.

Don't believe this one either. Just look how that cat is staring you down.

6. You Can Find Uranium. Joseph Weiss, 1948.


And you'd better do it before the other guy finds it first.

7. You Can Stop Worrying. Samuel W. Gutwirth, 1957.


Yeah, right. Not with all those idiots out there hunting uranium I can't.

8. You Can Survive the Bomb. Col. Mel Mawrence, 1961.

Oh, then I guess I won't worry after all.

9. You Can Be Physically Perfect, Powerfully Strong. Vic Boff, 1975.


I will throw that bomb right back in their faces.

10. You Can Speak For God. George W. Schroeder, 1958.

Open Library

It's about time someone started doing this! Our problems are solved.

11. You Can Find A Fortune. Jeanne Horn, 1966.

History Bound

Great. I was getting tired of trying to make one myself.

12. You Can Teach Your Dog to Eliminate on Command. M.L. Smith, 1985.


This makes for an awesome party trick.

13. You Can Do Anything with Crepes. Virginia Pasley and Jane Green, 1970.


It's true. I used crepes to teach my dog to eliminate on command.

14. You Can Know the Future. Wilbur Moorehead Smith, 1971.


But that doesn't mean you should. Oh…nothing. Never mind.

15. You Can Have It All. Arnold M. Patent, 1991.

Open Library

But you'll have to give it back when the 90s are over. I know. I've seen the future.

16. You Can Do Anything! James Mangan, 1934.

Lenny's Rare Books

Eh, all I really want to do is play golf.

17. You Can Play Golf Forever. Louis Hexter, 1979.

Library Thing


Oxford English Dictionary // Public Domain
The Time the Oxford English Dictionary Forgot a Word
Sir James Murray in his Scriptorium
Sir James Murray in his Scriptorium
Oxford English Dictionary // Public Domain

When the complete edition of what would become the Oxford English Dictionary debuted in 1928, it was lauded as a comprehensive collection of the English language, a glossary so vast—and so thorough—that no other reference book could ever exceed its detail or depth. In total, the project took seven decades to catalogue everything from A to Z, defining a total of 414,825 words. But in the eyes of its editor James Murray, the very first volume of the dictionary was something of an embarrassment: It was missing a word.

Looking back, it’s impressive that more words were not lost. Assembling the OED was a nightmare. Before the first volume—an installment consisting of words beginning with the letters A and B—was published in 1888, multiple editors had taken (and abandoned) the helm, and each regime change created new opportunities for mayhem. When James Murray took command in 1879, the Oxford English Dictionary could best be defined by the word disarray.

The irony of making this massive reference book was that it required millions upon millions of tiny, tiny pieces of paper. Every day, volunteers mailed in thousands of small strips of paper called “quotation slips.” On these slips, volunteers would copy a single sentence from a book, in hopes that this sentence could help illuminate a particular word’s meaning. (For example, the previous sentence might be a good example of the word illuminate. Volunteers would copy that sentence and mail it to Oxford’s editors, who would review it and compare the slip to others to highlight the word illuminate.)

The process helped Oxford’s editors study all of the shades of meaning expressed by a single word, but it was also tedious and messy. With thousands of slips pouring into the OED’s offices every day, things could often go wrong.

And they did.

Some papers were stuffed haphazardly into boxes or bags, where they gathered cobwebs and were forgotten. Words beginning with Pa went missing for 12 years, only to be recovered in County Cavan, Ireland, where somebody was using the papers as kindling. Slips for the letter G were nearly burned with somebody’s trash. In 1879, the entire letter H turned up in Italy. At one point, Murray opened a bag only to find a family of live mice chewing on the paperwork.

When Murray took over, he tried to right the ship. To better organize the project, he built a small building of corrugated iron called the “Scriptorium.” It resembled a sunken tool shed, but it was here—with the help of 1029 built-in pigeonholes—that Murray and his subeditors arranged, sorted, and filed more than a thousand incoming slips every day. Millions of quotations would pass through the Scriptorium, and hundreds of thousands of words would be neatly organized by Murray’s trusty team.

One word, however, slipped through the cracks.

Oxford English Dictionary entry slips
Oxford English Dictionary entry slips
Media Specialist, Flickr // CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Bondmaid is not the kind of word people drop during conversation anymore, and that’s for the best: It means “a slave girl.” The word was most popular in the 16th century. Murray’s file for bondmaid, however, reached back even further: It included quotations as old as William Tyndale’s 1526 translation of the Bible.

But then bondmaid went missing. “Its slips had fallen down behind some books, and the editors had never noticed that it was gone,” writes Simon Winchester in The Meaning of Everything. When the first volume of the Oxford English Dictionary was published in 1888, bondmaid wasn’t there. (That volume of the OED does miss other words, but those exclusions were deliberate matters of editorial policy—bondmaid is the only word that the editors are known to have physically lost.)

When the slips were later rediscovered in the Scriptorium, Murray reportedly turned red with embarrassment. By 1901, some 14 years after the exclusion, he was still reeling over the mistake in a draft of a letter addressed to an anonymous contributor: “[N]ot one of the 30 people (at least) who saw the work at various stages between MS. and electrotyped pages noticed the omission. The phenomenon is absolutely inexplicable, and with our minute organization one would have said absolutely impossible; I hope also absolutely unparalleled.”

All was not lost for the lost word, however. In 1933, bondmaid made its Oxford dictionary debut. It had taken nearly five decades to make the correction.

Warner Bros.
Rent an Incredible Harry Potter-Themed Apartment in the City Where the Series Was Born
Warner Bros.
Warner Bros.

The Muggle city of Edinburgh has deep ties to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling wrote much of the book series while living there, and there’s even a pub in Edinburgh that named itself after the author for a month. Now, fans passing through the Scottish capital have the chance to live like their favorite boy wizard. As Digital Spy reports, a Harry Potter-themed holiday home in the city’s historic district is now available to rent for around $200 (£150) a night.

Property owner Yue Gao used her own knowledge as a fan when decorating the apartment. With red and yellow accents, a four-poster bed, and floating candles adorning the wallpaper on the ceiling, the master bedroom pays tribute to both the Gryffindor dormitory and the Hogwarts Great Hall. The Hogwarts theme extends to the lounge area, where each door is painted with a different house’s colors and crest. Guests will also find design aspects inspired by the Hogwarts Express around the apartment: The second bedroom is designed to look like a sleeping car, and the front door is disguised as the brick wall at Platform 9 3/4.

Pieces of Harry Potter memorabilia Gao has picked up in her travels are hidden throughout the home, too. If visitors look closely, they’ll find several items that once belonged to Rowling herself, including the writer’s old desk.

Take a look at some of the photos of the magical interiors:

The apartment is available to rent throughout the year through And if you can tear yourself away from the residence for long enough, there are plenty of other Harry Potter-themed attractions to check out in Edinburgh during your stay.

[h/t Digital Spy]


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