Start Packing For Mars

No Return Tickets
Book your trip to the red planet now. But take all your stuff with you, because you ain’t coming back.
*
Don’t Forget the Popcorn
These home theaters are amazing.
*
Eat the Invaders
This article pushes a new approach to dealing with invasive animal species: Cook them up.
*
The World’s Oldest Hamburger
In 1999, David Whipple bought a McDonald’s hamburger. And he never ate it. And he still has it. And it looks the same as the day he bought it. It never began to rot. This is terrifying.
*
Things I Need
I really feel that we should pull together as a community and purchase this old filing cabinet for me. This is important. Send your money in now.
*
A Dramatic Reading of the Delta Gamma Sorority Letter
Last week, an explicit email from a college sorority sister hit the internet and instantly became legendary. Now, Funny or Die has staged a very dramatic reading of the email. WARNING: This email and video have a HUGE amount of NSFW language.