The Weird Week in Review

Miss Cellania

Lost Child Found Inside Claw Machine

A mother in Lincoln, Nebraska, called police on Monday evening frantic with worry when she could not find her three-year-old son in their home. Meanwhile, across the street, patrons at a bowling alley were surprised to see a little boy among the plush toys inside a claw machine. Management called the vendor, who came and unlocked the claw machine. Someone from the bowling alley notified the policemen who were outside searching for the missing boy, and the child was reunited with his mother. He even went home with a stuffed animal from the machine. We hope that’s not an incentive for the unidentified child to try crossing the street on his own again.

Remember Not To Pee On The Alamo

A Texas man received a sentence of 18 months for urinating on the Alamo. Daniel Athens, of El Paso, was charged with criminal mischief after an Alamo Ranger observed him zipping up and then found a wet spot on the original mortar. The incident occurred in a restricted area of the shrine. The police report noted that urine can damage the Alamo’s limestone. The 23-year-old is not eligible for parole and must also pay $4,000 in restitution.

It’s Not Nice to Mock Kim Jong-un

Mo Nabbach manages the M&M Hair Academy in London, England. After the story circulated about Kim Jong-un mandating that male North Korean students wear his haircut, Nabbach posted a sign outside his salon featuring a picture of the North Korean leader. The caption said, “Bad hair day? 15 per cent off all gent cuts through the month of April. Tuesday – Thursday." It was all fun and games until two men claiming to be from the North Korean Embassy visited the salon and ordered the sign removed.

"My father told them: 'This is England and not North Korea' and he told them to get their lawyers." His father removed the poster, but quickly put it back up after some of his clients urged him to demonstrate that Britain is a democracy. Mr Nabbach said: "The two men were wearing suits and they were very serious. My father said it was very threatening."

Nabbach reported the incident to the police, who cannot do anything until a law is broken. The North Korean Embassy, which is only a few minutes’ walk from the salon, refused to comment on the incident.

Does a Bear Fall in the Woods?

Animal welfare officials were called when a bear was spotted 30 feet up in a tree in Panama City, Florida. The 250-pound bear was shot with a tranquilizer gun. To catch the falling bear, the crew erected a tarp as a sort of net a few feet off the ground. But a tarp is not as strong as a 250-pound bear falling from a 30-foot height, as anyone should have figured out. The bear tore right through and hit the ground with a splat. The bear was uninjured, and fortunately, slept right through the ordeal. The incident was captured on video.

Comedy Club Wish Fulfilled After Man’s Death

Kevin Dorothy wanted to perform on the comedy club stage at the Pavilion Bar in Belfast. Unfortunately, he died at age 53 before he got the chance to do so. But his friends made it happen. Monday night, Stephen Mullan took an urn of Dorothy’s ashes to the stage where it sat while he read five years' worth of jokes Dorothy had texted to his friends.

"Kevin had a habit of texting the most cringe-inducing jokes to all his pals," said another of Kevin's friends, Tom Sweeney. "I always read them, groaned and deleted them right away - they were awful. Stephen, however, kept them - five years' worth. And that's what the audience was treated to. "And do you know something? Kevin's jokes weren't that awful after all on hearing Stephen deliver them. "Nobody had seen anything like it. You hear about comedians dying on stage. Well, Kevin jumped the gun."

As they say, no one appreciates an artist during his lifetime.

Reservoir to be Drained Due to Urination (Again)

The Mount Tabor Reservoir in Portland, Oregon, has been taken offline because a man was seen on security video urinating into it Wednesday morning about 1AM. Two other men tried to scale the fence, one successfully. As a result, 38 million gallons of clean water will be flushed from the reservoir. This is not the first time the Mount Tabor reservoir has been drained because a man peed in it. An incident in 2011 caused 7.8 million gallons to be replaced. Federal regulations now say that water reservoirs must be covered, a project that Portland will complete in 2015.