The Weird Week in Review

Miss Cellania
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Volunteers Eat Worms for Space Program

Protein-rich mealworms are on the menu in China’s space program. The idea was rejected long ago by NASA and other space agencies, because the morale of astronauts was taken into consideration. However, the Chinese are seriously considering the worms for long-term space travel. Three volunteers are trying out various recipes made with mealworms inside the Moon Palace One biosphere at the Beijing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics. Observers say the volunteer diners seem “healthy and happy” with their diet. One must wonder why the volunteers weren’t directly quoted.

Crocodile Injured by Falling Accountant

A performing crocodile was battered and bruised after being squashed by an accountant who fell on him. Both work for a circus in Russia, and the incident happened on their tour bus. The bus lurched, and the 250-pound female circus accountant was thrown onto the animal.

Both reportedly sustained shock and minor injuries. But the crocodile, named Fedya, apparently fared worse than the accountant. He vomited for three hours after the accidental full body slam, though a medical examination found he was clear of any internal injuries, Komsomolskaya Pravda reported. Fedya had to skip a performance that had been scheduled for later in the evening, however.

The accountant was reprimanded for not wearing a seatbelt.

Thief Takes Bread Truck, Delivers Bread

It’s one thing to steal a vehicle, but David Bastar of Nanuet, New York, apparently had more on his mind than just theft. After driving away in a Grimaldi’s bread truck around 3AM Monday, he made the usual rounds to deliver the bread to various Manhattan restaurants! Bastar saw the delivery schedule posted inside the truck and dropped off bread at three locations before tossing out bread as he drove down Lexington Avenue. He proceeded to Queens, and began to follow a limousine. The limo driver called police, who pulled over the bread truck and apprehended Bastar. He was sent to Elmhurst Hospital’s psychiatric ward.

Reporter Discovers He’s Allergic to Newspaper Ink

Michael Dresser has worked for The Baltimore Sun newspaper for many years. For years, he has also been fighting mysterious symptoms like puffiness around the eyes and skin rashes. He has now been diagnosed as being allergic to printers ink! More specifically, Dresser is allergic to the pine resin in newspaper ink. The irony of the situation does not escape him. Dresser notified his co-workers that he will be wearing gloves at the office from now on. Or at least until the newspaper business goes completely online.

Clown and Monkey Rob Bank

Wednesday morning, the Capon Valley Bank in Baker, West Virginia, was robbed of an undisclosed amount of money by a clown accompanied by a monkey. The man wearing the clown mask was also wearing a large nightgown.

The other suspect, possibly a woman, had a slender build, wore a brown monkey mask, a black hooded-sweatshirt, and gray sweat pants. Police say the smaller suspect had what appeared to be a firearm. After stealing an undisclosed amount of money, the two left the bank in a blue Chevy Malibu with Va. registration, heading towards U.S. Route 48.

The couple’s getaway car was found later, abandoned and on fire. It had been stolen from a car dealership. The robbery was captured on the bank’s video surveillance system.

Happy Birthday to the Oldest Person in America!

Today, Jeralean Talley of Inkster, Michigan, turns 115 years old. The supercentenarian gets around with a walker and enjoys spending time with her 14-month-old great-great-grandson. Talley will celebrate her birthday with friends and family (she lives with her 76-year-old daughter) with a party at her church on Sunday, and a trip to the doctor today. There are a few hundred people around the world who are over 110 years old, but very few who have lived in three different centuries. Talley is the oldest living American