11 Weird Gifts You Can Get on Amazon

Chronicle Books, Chia/Amazon
Chronicle Books, Chia/Amazon / Chronicle Books, Chia/Amazon
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Your friends are interesting people. So when special occasions roll around, why get them bland, milquetoast presents? We’ve scoured the internet to come up with 11 weird gifts—from sloth shower curtains to microwave s’mores makers—that should pleasantly surprise your favorite chums.

1. I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats; $10

Chronicle Books/Amazon

Cats. They pee on our clothes, bang on our doors all night (and refuse to come in when we open it for them), and turn Christmas trees into their personal jungle gyms. So what goes through their heads? This book of poems written from the perspective of a destructive house cat attempts to answer these mysteries. It’s the ideal gift for someone with a fuzzy ball of destruction of their own at home.

Buy It: Amazon

2. T. rex Wine Bottle Holder; $27

Ebros Gifts

Holding a glass bottle would’ve been a challenge for any real Tyrannosaurus rex, what with the disproportionately small arms and all. But this skeletonized little fellow came up with a solution: He grasps the containers between his toes. Made of hand-painted polyresin, he’ll be a welcome addition to any fossil-lover’s dinner table.

Buy It: Amazon

3. Waffle blanket; $23


This is about as close as a person can get to being wrapped in a warm waffle without all of the stickiness that goes along with it. Measuring 60 inches across, this blanket is a fit for anyone that wants to be covered in something a bit off the beaten path while lounging on the couch on those cold winter mornings.

Buy It: Amazon

4. Chia Pet Bob Ross; $16


Forget the traditional Chia Pets this year and instead go for this sublimely weird Bob Ross version, which puts you in charge of growing the beloved artist's luxurious perm. It's important work, no doubt, but in just one to two weeks, this little sculpture should flaunt a head of hair worthy of the public broadcast legend.

Buy It: Amazon

5. Sloth Shower Curtain; $38

Sharp Shirter/Amazon

Why did the sloth become the internet’s favorite animal? Well, much like this King Kong-esque shower curtain, the appeal is a bit hard to explain. Still, there’s something endlessly fascinating about these slow-moving, miraculously photogenic animals—and whether your friend is already part of the sloth fan club or you’re just hoping to convert them, this supremely weird gift is a no-brainer.

Buy It: Amazon

6. Shower Head With Wireless Speaker; $108


Singing in the shower? Why not throw in some musical accompaniment? Kohler’s “Moxie” shower head comes with a detachable wireless speaker that delivers your favorite tunes to the bathroom via Bluetooth. The gadget is totally waterproof and includes rechargeable batteries.

Buy It: Amazon

7. Microwave S’mores Maker; $19


Here’s a device that lets you make yummy, gooey campfire treats in any household microwave. Stack the ingredients under the two plastic arms, fill up the water compartment in the back, and get ready for indoor s’mores in just 30 seconds of cooking time.

Buy It: Amazon

8. Literary Insults Chart; $24

Curious Charts Commission/Amazon

A compilation of the greatest put-downs in the English language, the Literary Insult Chart is organized by category. Looking for a quick culinary jab? There’s a whole section for that—one that includes Storm Jameson’s classic line, “She did not so much cook as assassinate food.” Featuring eloquent barbs from Shakespeare, Hedda Hopper, and many others, this poster will have the bookworms in your life grinning with glee.

Buy It: Amazon

9. Bicycle Pizza Cutter; $20


Toy vehicles make everything better—including pizza preparation. Available in yellow, black, pink, and all sorts of other colors, the novelty bicycle pizza cutter has bladed wheels that’ll slice up crusts in style.

Buy It: Amazon

10. The Goldblum Variations; $12

Penguin Books/Amazon

It’s hard to describe The Goldblum Variations succinctly—it’s partly a love letter to the idiosyncratic Jurassic Park star, but it’s also an absurd piece of fan fiction where author Helen McClory imagines a number of alternate existences for Goldblum, in which he can be anything from a firefighter in an Arizona ghost town to a piece of code in a video game. It’s an odd one, but so is your Goldblum-obsessed friend.

Buy It: Amazon

11. Dinosaur Ugly Christmas Sweater; $30

Blizzard Bay/Amazon

Look at this thing. You’ve got a dinosaur on a Christmas sweater wearing its own Christmas sweater, and its arms are too short to even fill out the sleeves. Everyone has that one friend that’s way too into dinosaurs, and chances are, they already have a house full of dino-related merchandise and collectibles that they bought on their own. But they won’t have this.

Buy It: Amazon

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