10 Things You Won't Be Able To Do Anymore If SkyMall Goes Away
SkyMall, in-flight purveyors of the weird and useless, is in danger of disappearing from your seat-back pocket completely. Today, the magazine's parent firm Xhibit Corp. filed for federal bankruptcy court protection. According to Xhibit CFO Scott Wiley, "With the increased use of electronic devices on planes, fewer people browsed the SkyMall in-flight catalog."
Unless someone comes in to buy and rescue SkyMall, the catalog is in danger of going away forever. For a terrifying glimpse of what a world without SkyMall might look like, feast your eyes on the following things you will never get to do again.
1. Order Pizza While Scuba Diving
This is the human race spiking the football after completely dominating the ocean for the past few centuries.
2. Get Messed Up On Some Sweet, Sweet Oxygen
Say "goodbye" to stress and "hello" to the warm embrace of intranasal highs.
3. Have Your Dog Go To Town In Your Living Room
You can use it too. Just sayin'.
4. Whatever This Is. Say Goodbye To This
Where will the nation turn if we no longer have plastic purple shoulder pleasure saxophones?
5. Tan Your Feet And Nothing Else
Use it year-round! (CAUTION: DO NOT USE YEAR-ROUND)
6. Chill Out and Completely Disappear
Where's Brent? Where did Brent go? Hey, Brent's floating head, have you seen Brent?
7. Reenact Gulliver's Travels While Watching a Youth Soccer Game
For Cool Dads only.
8. Harness The Power Of Your Mind And Then Waste It
It's like Mousetrap, but if you drop it in water while using it you may leave your mortal husk and get transported to another dimension.
9. Oh Dear, Don't Do This
At least make sure someone is keeping an eye on you, sir.
10. Make Your Feet Happy
These would feel great on a long flight. Gee, I wonder where I can buy them?