Let’s not pretend that sweater parties are anything but a platform for you and your friends to one-up each other in gaudy absurdity. This season, give yourself an edge with one of these awe-inspiringly silly sweaters.

1. FOR THE LOVABLE CURMUDGEON; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

2. FOR YOUR NEXT ANGELS WITH FILTHY SOULS VIEWING; $37-$55

Find It: Amazon

3. A SWEATERUS FOR THE REST OF US; $50

Find It: Ugly Christmas Sweater

4. THE MEOWICAL OF LIGHTS; $18

Find It: Etsy

5. CATS CAN’T HAVE ALL THE FUN; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

6. KEEP IT FRESH; $20-$30

Find It: Amazon

7. TURTLE POWER; $20-$43

Find It: Amazon

8. THE EMPEROR’S NEW SWEATER; $25-$30

Find It: Amazon

9. LORNE MICHAELS APPROVED; $34-$55

Find It: Amazon

10. LEAN INTO THE GEEKINESS; $30

Find It: Amazon

11. ARE THERE DINOSAUR TAILORS?; $24

Find It: Amazon

12. THE SWEATER ABIDES; $50

Find It: Ugly Christmas Sweater

13. THIS IS, EXCUSE ME, A DAMN FINE SWEATER; $83

Find It: This is Feliz Navidad

14. IT MUST BE ITALIAN; $53-$58

Find It: Amazon

15. THE SWEATER CHRISTMAS DESERVES; $35

Find It: Amazon

16. A TROPICAL CHRISTMAS; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

17. THE SWEATER THAT LIVED (IN THE CLOSET 11 MONTHS OF THE YEAR); $83

Find It: Feliz Navidad

18. GET SHREKED; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

19. IT’S MILLER (SWEATER) TIME; $60

Find It: MIller Lite

20. WE'LL ALL DANCE THE HORAH; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

21. THE MOST POPULAR SWEATER AT THE PARTY; $55

Find It: Tipsy Elves

22. A SWEATER THAT TALKS TO THE CAMERA; $30

Find It: ThinkGeek

23. YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGRY ELF; $50-$56

Find it: Amazon

24. EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY; $40

Find It: ThinkGeek

25. GOTTA CATCH THE HOLIDAY FEVER; $25

Find It: ThinkGeek

26. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY THIS SWEATER WITH BOTTLE CAPS; $50

Find It: ThinkGeek

27. SWEATER TIME!; $83

Find It: Feliz Navidad