15 Bizarre Star Wars-Branded Products
By Rudie Obias
is one of the most profitable movie franchises in history, partly because of its seemingly endless supply of branded merchandise and movie tie-in products. Lucasfilm is famous for granting product licenses to just about any company that wants to sell Star Wars merchandise, but sometimes it just goes too far. Here are 15 bizarre Star Wars-branded products.
1. STAR WARS EARLY BIRD CERTIFICATE PACKAGE
With the surprise success of the original Star Wars in 1977, demand and excitement for the space opera was so high and rampant that its official toy licensee, Kenner, couldn’t fill demand for the upcoming busy Christmas shopping season. The toy company’s solution? Sell a Star Wars Early Bird Certificate Package, which was simply an empty box ... with a promise. If you bought the package for $7.99 (about $31 in today’s dollars) and sent in the mail-in certificate postcard, Kenner would send you Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, R2-D2, and Chewbacca action figures six months later. It was extremely successful and proved people will buy just about anything with the words “Star Wars” on it—even an empty box. An unopened and sealed package can go for about $8000 on eBay.
REVENGE OF THE SITH
AIR SICKNESS BAGS
In 2005, Virgin Atlantic partnered with LucasArts to promote the then-new Revenge of the Sith video game. Four limited-edition Star Wars air sickness bags were made for all transatlantic flights. One bag included instructions on how to operate a lightsaber, while others featured a diagram of what’s inside of a lightsaber and how a Jedi Knight duels a Sith Lord. Another featured an airplane’s seating chart which highlighted the Light and Dark Sides of the Force.
3. C-3PO TAPE DISPENSER
No Star Wars fan’s desk is complete without a C-3PO tape dispenser. After the release of The Empire Strikes Back, Sigma made an all-ceramic tape dispenser featuring C-3PO in a very awkward position. It’s weird to grab a piece of tape from a droid’s crotch, but an original C-3PO tape dispenser goes for about $200 on eBay, so it might be worth it.
4. STAR WARS APPLES
The Bothan Spy
Nothing says Star Wars like ... a bushel of apples? A number of grocery store chains across the country are stocking Star Wars brand apples. The Sage Fruit Company licensed Star Wars for their brand of red delicious apples, which come in a plastic bag with Darth Vader on the front and Yoda and a Stormtrooper on the back. The Sage Fruit Company also sells officially licensed Sesame Street and Disney’s Frozen branded apples.
5. WAMPA ARM ICE SCRAPER
Remember when Luke Skywalker cut off the Wampa’s arm at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back? In 2012, ThinkGeek had the bright idea to make an ice scraper that looked like a plush severed Wampa arm for your car’s windshield. It’s a good way to scrape ice on your car and keep your arm warm while you’re doing it.
6. STAR WARS COFFEE CREAMER
Nestle and Lucasfilm teamed up for the release of The Force Awakens with officially licensed Star Wars Coffee-mate creamers. Nestle released five limited-edition Coffee-mate flavors and bottles, including Darth Vader Espresso Chocolate, C-3PO Hazelnut, Chewbacca Spiced Latte, R2-D2 French Vanilla, and Boba Fett Italian Sweet Cream—any one of which pairs well with Darth Vader's Dark Side Roast Coffee.
7. CHOP SABERS
According to Obi-Wan Kenobi in A New Hope, a lightsaber is the “formal weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. More skill than simple sight was required for its use. An elegant weapon.” But to the people at Samurai Market in Japan, a pair of tiny lightsabers can also be used as chopsticks.
8. DARTH VADER BLACK BURGER AND JEDI BURGER
As part of a promotion for the 3-D re-release of The Phantom Menace in 2012, French fast food chain Quick offered a Darth Vader Dark Burger, which was a double cheeseburger with spicy piquant pepper sauce on a jet-black bun. Quick also offered a less exciting jalapeno Jedi Burger with mayonnaise on a ciabatta bun.
Fishing gear manufacturer Shakespeare released a line of Star Wars-themed fishing gear, including tackle boxes, backpacks, and lightsaber-shaped fishing rods. The fishing kit came with Star Wars: The Clone Wars decals for the kids.
10. LANDO CALRISSIAN DISGUISE KIT
Available exclusively during Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando in 2010, the Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit was simply a stick-on mustache that made you look like the scoundrel of Cloud City.
The Star Wars Collectors Archive
In 2005, German household paper company Zewa partnered with Lucasfilm for the release of Revenge of the Sith. They offered limited edition Yoda action figures with the purchase of officially licensed Star Wars toilet paper combo packs.
12. TAUNTAUN SLEEPING BAGS
If you ever wanted to be warm and cozy inside of a Tauntaun just like Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back, then ThinkGeek has got you covered. Though it started out as a clever April Fool’s joke in 2009, the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag quickly turned into one of the most sought after movie tie-in products on the Internet. Demand was so high for the Star Wars sleeping bag that ThinkGeek acquired a license from Lucasfilm to officially manufacture and sell the item.
PORCELAIN CHINA SET
No special occasion is complete without your limited-edition Star Wars china set. Impress your family and friends with your deep devotion to a galaxy far, far away and fine tableware with this beautifully crafted—and classy—porcelain china featuring such beloved Star Wars characters as Darth Vader, R2-D2, Yoda, and Chewbacca.
14. AMPLE HILLS ICE CREAM
Beloved Brooklyn ice cream company Ample Hills is getting in on The Force Awakens action with two limited edition, Star Wars-themed flavors: The Light Side is a marshmallow ice cream with homemade crispie clusters and handmade cocoa crispies (“to represent the dark side still lurking within the light,” according to the company). The Dark Side is an ultra-dark chocolate ice cream, chock full of espresso fudge brownies, cocoa crispies, and white chocolate pearls.
15. JAR JAR BINKS LOLLIPOP
The infamous Jar Jar Binks lollipop from The Phantom Menace might just be the most bizarre movie tie-in product ever released with any Star Wars film. It was a push-up style lollipop with the Gungan’s hideous reptile-like tongue as the sweet candy inside. Who thought it would be a good idea to make a candy where kids actively French kiss Jar Jar?