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"As is painting, so is poetry"

This morning I discovered a flyer in my mailbox advertising "Wordsworth and Keats Fine Interior Housepainting: special attention paid to metre and rhyme." Part of me wanted to believe this was a real service, perhaps featuring painters who speak in couplets and scrawl secret verses on your walls before they slap up a coat of Benjamin Moore. Alas, the website the flyer lists turns out to be completely unrelated to poetry or paint. I guess the whole point was just to get people's attention, in which case, it... READ ON

All the Presidents... President's... Presidents'... meh, whatever.

Wait, what day is it again? From The New Yorker: According to some of the calendars and appointment books floating around this office, Monday, February 19th, is Presidents' Day. Others say it's President's Day. Still others opt for Presidents Day. Which is it? ... The answer, strictly speaking, is none of the above. Ever since 1968, when, in one of the last gasps of Great Society reformism, holidays were rejiggered to create more three-day weekends, federal law has decreed the third... READ ON

Viral meme all your friends already know about, #4: Loituma Girl

Do not, repeat, do NOT click on this link if you actually have something even slightly, vaguely important to do today, or if you are at all worried about maintaining your sanity. Okay, fine, click. Loituma Girl is the most spellbinding thing I've ever seen, and the worst part is, I can't explain why. At least Wikipedia can explain what: Loituma Girl (also known as Leekspin) is a flash cartoon set to a gibberish section of the traditional Finnish folk song "Ievan Polkka" sung by the Finnish quartet... READ ON

There's an interesting debate going on at the Guardian about why English-speakers use the word Allah to refer to the Muslim version of God: There is no logical reason for this. Why use an Arabic word in English-language news reports when there is a perfectly good English word that means exactly the same thing? Various Arabic words -- jihad and sheikh, for example -- have crept into everyday usage because no precise equivalent exists in English, but "Allah" is not of that type. It is simply the normal... READ ON

I'm not sure what's more troubling...

.. the fact that this fantastic blogger took the trouble to photograph and post every single ad in Times Square, or the fact that one of them is for "Legally Blonde: The Musical!" UPDATE: Just finished reading the blogger's post. He had the exact same... READ ON

Public service announcement: The chain gang

I've mentioned this worthy organization on the blog before (albeit in passing), but one of our readers thought we ought to bring it to full attention in order to make the world a better place: CHAIN LETTERS ANONYMOUS At Chain Letters Anonymous, we understand the anxiety of breaking the chain. We want to help you overcome "forward-button addiction" and the superstitious intoxication that brings computer networks to a crawl. Not everyone has the strength to quit cold turkey, and we fully... READ ON

You belong in a zoo

So, you know those scientific studies that recruit participants through ads on the subway and on college bulletin boards? This one's sooooo much cooler: SYDNEY (AFP)—An Australian zoo is putting humans on public display in its orangutang enclosure in a month-long scientific experiment that will also include a popularity contest. Six humans have already taken up residence in the Adelaide Zoo pen for the experiment, dubbed "the human zoo." Groups of humans will spend week-long shifts locked in... READ ON

Mummies from deepest, darkest Peru

If you thought mummies came only from Egypt, this news story will astound you. Actually, it ought to astound anyone because it's so. freakin'. cool: Hands over her eyes and her face gripped with terror, the woman's fear of death is all too obvious. The remarkable mummy was found in a hidden burial vault in the Amazon. It is at least 600 years old and has survived thanks to the embalming skills of her tribe, the Chachapoyas or cloud warriors. Eleven further mummies were recovered from the massive... READ ON

Even more Japonalia

Good news for those of you who couldn't get enough of my constant posts about Japan (all two of you) -- a reader named "Professor Solomon" writes to tell us he also enjoys spouting off about the country, and that he's done it in book form. Across the sea is the land of Japan. With its ancient shrines, sumo wrestlers, Zen masters, capsule hotels, Laughing Festival, fortunetelling birds, haiku masters, phantom foxes, mania for bathing, musical crickets, tea masters, Living National Treasures, Moon Viewing... READ ON

Teratomas: Terrible, but Maybe Also Terrific

I just wrote a piece about stem cells, and I'd like to take a moment to talk about one of the things I briefly mention in the article: teratomas, which, like most of the best things in medicine, are both intellectually fascinating and spectacularly gross. (For the sake of the squeamish, I'm not including any pictures except the one at left [apparently her name is "Tabitha"], but there is a disgusting one here.) Teratomas are essentially tumors made of cells that have decided to differentiate into any... READ ON

Faster, polymers, kill kill kill!

Good news for OCD types who are scared to touch doorknobs (and toilet seats, and public bannisters, and...): Scientists at MIT have developed a type of paint that kills some particularly nasty types of germs on contact. If applied to doorknobs or other surfaces where germs tend to accumulate, the new substance could help fight the spread of the flu, says Jianzhu Chen, MIT professor of biology. ... The "antimicrobial paint," which can be sprayed or brushed onto surfaces, consists of spiky polymers that... READ ON

Guess what these dresses are made of?

Or, if your preferences fall on the prudish end of the spectrum, you may not want... READ ON

But would it fly on Broadway?

I am torn between wishing I had been at this production and being really, really glad I wasn't: Last month, audiences of Brown University's production of the Jean-Paul Sartre play "The Flies" were greatly outnumbered by 30,000 fruit flies, bred by a science student specifically for the play. "The Flies" is Sartre's take on a Greek tragedy, in which the protagonist, Orestes, murders his mother and her lover. The purpose of the flies, according to the show's director, Brown senior James Rutherford, is to... READ ON

Wonderful things from the Times book review section, #2

There are three reasons I love this review of P.J. O'Rourke's new book, which riffs on Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" so you don't have to trudge through all 900 pages yourself: 1. Its title: "Capitalist Punishment" 2. Its author (Allan Sloan, a colleague of mine) 3. These paragraphs, which are essentially a condensation of Sloan's condensation of O'Rourke's condensation of Smith: Smith's thesis, which still resonates today, is that setting people free to pursue their own... READ ON

Wonderful things from the Times book review section, #1

The novelist Richard Powers had an article this weekend about dictating, rather than writing, literary works. There's sparkly trivia in it, which I'll share in a bit, but first I have a question: Powers is arguing that when it comes to writing things down, "you'd be hard-pressed to invent a greater barrier to cognitive flow." As a reporter, though, I've often found that people are surprised at how clumsy their off-the-cuff speech is and, on reading their own quotes in an article, often want to write... READ ON

More things to feel guilty about buying

If you're still smarting that your significant other didn't present you with (a snazzy new cell phone, a big box of chocolates, five golden rings) for the holidays, take comfort: Foreign Policy says he/she really shouldn't have. From the magazine's recent list of "common consumer items [that] help fuel conflict, ruin the environment, and rely on child labor:" Cell Phones: The war-torn [Democratic Republic of the Congo] is home to 80 percent of the world's coltan, which is an important mineral for... READ ON

Good Grief, Moon!

I was just flipping through a recent back issue of the New Yorker and discovered that one of the highlights of my childhood was based on a lie (a lie, I tell you!): The mother of all bedtime stories, "Goodnight Moon," by Margaret Wise Brown, will turn sixty next year. ... At the time that it appeared, Brown was thirty-seven and a well-established children's writer; among her many acclaimed picture books were "The Runaway Bunny" and "Little Fur Family." Still, she... READ ON

The year of the inoshishi

You may think it's 2007, but in Japan, it's now officially the year of the boar. And as it turns out, there's no better place to celebrate it than on the Izu Peninsula -- specifically, at Inoshishi-Mura, which translates roughly to "Boar Village." Yes, it's an entire theme park devoted to wild boars! You can visit a rather comprehensive museum that covers the life of the boar from cradle to stewpot, watch the boar races, eat Boar Jerky (inoshishi is actually pretty tasty), or -- my favorite -- take in some... READ ON

Midichlorians are real!

I'm not sure what's more bizarre -- the fact that this scientist found a new type of bacteria living inside mitochondria (the cellular energy factories that themselves arose from bacteria), or the fact that he named them after George Lucas' second-worst-idea-ever. Lo ... wrote to scientists across Europe, Russia, North Africa, and the Middle East, asking them to send ticks for him to screen. Sure enough, he found his bugs, nestled into the [mitochondria of the] ovaries of 100% of female ticks. Soon, Lo... READ ON

Poor little guy...

Terribly sad news from the Georgia Aquarium yesterday: ATLANTA -- Gasper, one of the Georgia Aquarium's five prized beluga whales, was euthanized Tuesday morning after months of declining health, officials said. The 17-year-old whale had been ill before arriving at the aquarium in October 2005, officials said. He and his tankmate Niko had been moved to Atlanta from an amusement park in Mexico City, where Gasper had developed skin lesions while living in a tank under a roller coaster. I actually went... READ ON

Viral meme all your friends already know about, #3: Will It Blend?

How do you make a boring household appliance, like a blender, the hip new thing? Well, you can either design it to be retro-adorable, or you can appeal to the misbehaving-kid demographic. BlendTec appears to have gone the latter route -- its new ad campaign is a fantastic, unholy cross between a cooking show and "Mr. Wizard," as set in a frat house. Watch as star Tom Dickson crushes lightbulbs and beer bottles using nothing but his bare hands and his blender! See what the "soup" setting can do to a rake... READ ON

But what does it do for prostate cancer?

Judging by the state of my house right now, I need a mammogram. Women who keep their homes clean and tidy are less likely to develop breast cancer than those who let the dust and dishes pile up, according to a new report. Researchers found regular moderate exercise such as housework provides greater protection from the disease than more strenuous but less frequent sporting activity. Being active in the home cut the likelihood of pre-menopausal women developing breast cancer by 29 per cent compared... READ ON

What's wrong with this picture?

Somehow, I don't think this is what the great painters of old were hoping for when they developed... READ ON

From the Archives: Smooth Criminals

Today's second archival tidbit comes from our current issue, on stands now. Shame on you if you don't already have a copy. The Original Ocean's 11: The 2003 Antwerp Diamond Heist If you think George Clooney's "Ocean's 11" character was smooth, check out the velvet finish on criminal mastermind Antonino Finotto. In February 2003, Finotto and his gang of thieves, known as the School of Turin, pulled off one of the stealthiest heists in history. Daring to break into the... READ ON

From the Archives: Now, you too can be a diamond! And we're dead serious.

Today's first archival tidbit comes from Scatterbrained: Diamonds are forever, the saying goes—and now you can be a diamond forever, too. Chicago's LifeGem company will turn the cremated remains of your favorite pet or loved one into a reasonably high-quality "memorial diamond" suitable for mounting in a ring or necklace. The process replicates the awesome heat and pressure needed to create a natural diamond, but instead of millions of years, it takes about six months.... READ ON

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Tsukiji Fish Market

I'm currently traveling in Japan, and since I've subjected youÂ to seven Armchair Field Trips in the last two weeks, I think instead I'll let you see for yourselves what I've been seeing, via pictures (mine) and links (from elsewhere). We've already talked about wasabiÂ andÂ namako-kabe;Â now let's check out the ginormous early-morning Tsukiji Fish Market in Tokyo, the biggest fish and seafood wholesaler in the world. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to transfer my... READ ON

From the Archives: My mistress' name is nothing like my wife's

Today's tidbit comes from volume 5, issue 6: Noted comic (and drunk) W. C. Fields left the world with these fine parting remarks: "God d*** the whole friggin' world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta." If that sounds sweet, consider that Fields' wife's name was Harriet. Carlotta Monti was his... READ ON

From the Archives: He shoots! He scores!

Today's first archival tidbit comes from What's the Difference? According to the Billiard Congress of America, during the Civil War billiard results often received wider coverage than war... READ ON

Everything you ever wanted to know about namako-kabe

I'm currently traveling in Japan, and since I've subjected youÂ to seven Armchair Field Trips in the last two weeks, I think instead I'll let you see for yourselves what I've been seeing, via pictures (mine) and links (from... READ ON

Everything you ever wanted to know about wasabi

I'm currently traveling in Japan, and since I've subjected youÂ dear people to seven Armchair Field Trips in the last two weeks, I think instead I'll let you see for yourselves what I've been seeing, via pictures (mine) and links (from elsewhere). First up: the wasabi fields of the Izu peninsula, about three hours south of Tokyo. * Loads of good wasabi trivia hereÂ (caveat emptor: as you'll already know from our magazine, "many, if not most, of the brands of wasabi powder and wasabi paste are... READ ON

From the Archives: I musth, musth, musth stop acting out like this!

Today's second archival tidbit comes from volume 3, issue 4 (Sept/Oct 2004): Who says males don't have PMS? About once a year beginning at the age of 15, male elephants experience periods of "musth" (pronounced "must"), during which testosterone levels are 50 times higher than normal. Derived from the Hindi word meaning "intoxicated," this phenomenon causes intense periods of heightened aggression and sexual activity. Often, males in musth pick fights... READ ON

From the Archives: I just want your extra time and your... well, lots of your extra time

Today's first archival tidbit comes from Scatterbrained: At 48 minutes, Andy Warhol's experimental film "Kiss" is easily the longest picture about kissing: It consists of one static shot, 12 real-life couples, four minutes each. We're still waiting for his sequel, "Second... READ ON

From the Archives: Haboob! (Giggle.) Haboob! (Snicker.)

Today's archival tidbit comes from volume 5, issue 3 (May/June 2006): A "haboob" is a moist, hot wind in the Sahara Desert that often accompanies thunderstorms. Haboobs stir up huge quantities of sand and move across the desert in the form of a dense wall that can reach heights up to 3,000 feet. You'd probably learn this kind of stuff in school if anyone could say "haboob" without... READ ON

From the Archives: Go West, young abolitionists

Today's first archival tidbit comes from What's the Difference? After the commonwealth of Virginia seceded from the Union in 1861, several northwestern Virginia counties went ahead and seceded from the seceders, choosing instead to stay in the Union. Those counties formed the state of West Virginia, feeling no compunction to keep the commonwealth... READ ON

From the Archives: Picasso's nude(s)

Today's second archival tidbit comes from our world famous Swimsuit Issue (volume 2, issue 5): Picasso sometimes painted in the nude and left his door open so that the women in his boarding house could admire... READ ON

From the Archives: We come in "shalom"

We've been enjoying this "archival tidbit" thing a lot. (Less work for us! More facts for you! It's a win-win.) So this week, and this week only, you'll be getting not one but TWO factlets drawn from our books and back issues. Today's first archival tidbit comes from What's the Difference? The split-fingered Vulcan salute from Star Trek is actually derived from an Orthodox Jewish ritual, the Blessing Hands used to anoint congregations on holy days. Star Trek icon Leonard Nimoy, who was... READ ON

Armchair Field Trip to Grenada: Chocolate!!!

Oh, God bless the Grenada Chocolate Company, makers of the world's best organic dark chocolate (the Guardian agrees with me on this). I learned one particularly interesting factlet on the tour of the darling factory, which claims to be the world's smallest -- a fact so surprising that I almost hated to check it, lest it turn out to be untrue. But Yahoo backed it up: Because of the ingredients, many people (including the U.S. Food and Drug Administration) don't consider "white chocolate" to be chocolate at... READ ON

Presents for the young at heart

Still having trouble finding the perfect holiday gifts? Well, I already told you what I want, but I'm sure anyone on your list would be happy to have these goodies from Perpetual... READ ON

From the Archives: Do you think their palms were clammy?

Today's archival tidbit comes from Condensed Knowledge: Scientist Peter Fong decided to dope up his research subjects "“ fingernail clams "“ by putting them on Prozac, which decreases the uptake of serotonin. In the bivalves' case, this led to an overwhelming urge for synchronous spawning, a boon for clam farmers and gawky teenage clams... READ ON

Armchair Field Trip to Grenada: Black-bellied Sheep

I can't seem to find much information about black-bellied sheep on the internet, but from what I do know, these guys originally come from Barbados -- and they're all over that island, as well as Carriacou. They roam freely on the roads eating grass, they baa constantly, and they're absolutely adorable. (I'm not the only one who thinks so, either.) I think I've spotted some on Grenada proper as well, although it's easy to mistake them for goats because, unlike regular sheep, the black-bellied ones don't... READ ON

The wit and wisdom of Prince Philip

So I finally got around to seeing "The Queen," and although most of the performances were spot-on, I felt like the guy playing Prince Philip must have caricatured him a bit. Nobody could be that brash, could they? ... Could they? It seems they could. Here are some quotes from the real Prince Philip: On meeting Aborigines in Australia: Do you still throw spears at each other? At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting: If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies... READ ON

From the Archives: Is there anything chocolate can't do?

Today's archival tidbit comes from Condensed Knowledge: Chocolate chip cookies have 15 times as much energy as the same weight of TNT—which is used as an explosive because it can release energy quickly, not because it has a... READ ON

Armchair Field Trip to Grenada: Carib's Leap

One of the most stunning sights we've seen in Grenada has been Carib's Leap, a cliff at the northern point that can leave a visitor speechless -- and not just because it's a beautiful view: It is said that the ancient Carib aboriginals had settled in vast numbers in Grenada before Columbus discovered the island. The Caribs practiced a largely sustainable livelihood of fishing, hunting, and farming until the English disturbed them in 1609 and the French in 1638. A French colony was established in 1650... READ ON

Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Scientist: Edward Lorenz

I found Edward Lorenz while doing some research on chaos theory for an upcoming m_f article. Who would have thought the guy who gave us one of the thorniest fields in all science was actually a glorified weatherman? Here's what I wrote: "Chaos theory got started with a computer simulation of the weather, albeit one that didn't work. In the early '60s, a meteorologist named Edward Lorenz came up with 12 equations describing temperature, air pressure, and so on, and programmed them into a... READ ON

From the Archives: World's Worst Run-On Sentence

Today's archival tidbit comes from Condensed Knowledge: One of the strangest novels ever written may be "Gates of Paradise" by Polish writer Jerzy Andrzejewski (1909-1983). It is one sentence long, unpunctuated, and 40,000... READ ON

These are a few of whose favorite things?

Elizabeth Williamson writes in the Washington Post: "Fake fur and real fur and jewelry and Jet Skis, Crystal and Segways and bubbly and Caddies, Race cars and leather and plasma TVs -- These are a few of Kim's favorite things." Here's my question: Who do you think it is, Lil' Kim or Kim Jong... READ ON

This post should count as 8,000 words

found 'em all on... READ ON

From the Archives: Oh, Jesus

Today's archival tidbit comes from Condensed Knowledge: On the one hand you've got the BC and AD camp, on the other you've got BCE and CE. What's the difference? As a young John Lennon once said about his flowing hair, "It's just fashion." If you grew up with BC and AD and now find yourself dealing with BCE and CE, remember that academic styles change. Late in the 20th century, some historians decided that BC and AD wouldn't do anymore. Those... READ ON

Armchair Field Trip to Grenada: Parang!

In Europe they have the Eurovision Song Contest; in Carriacou, there's Parang, which features slightly less ridiculous outfits but has all sorts of other elements of competitive showmanship: The main objective of organizing the festival was to revive and keep alive the "house to house" serenading of string bands. At that time this indigenous aspect of our culture was slowing dying. "¦ Carriacou Parang is filled with fun, humor and excitement. The lyrics in the songs are rather... READ ON

Radioactive sandwiches and the laws of physics

As a science writer, I occasionally get random unsolicited pitches, announcements, and deep thoughts from scientists and science buffs. Most of the time they're either irrelevant or slightly touched by insanity, but I do try to read them. So this email, which just appeared in my inbox, seemed to be one of those at first: Physics is often said to be the "fundamental science" (chemistry is sometimes included), because each of the other sciences (biology, chemistry, geology, material science, engineering,... READ ON

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