11 Tips for That Benjamin Harrison Birthday Bash You're Probably Planning

Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Hulton Archive/Getty Images

If you’re looking for an excuse to host an impromptu Monday get-together, why not throw a birthday bash for America's last bearded president? Today happens to be Benjamin Harrison’s 179th. Here are 11 party-planning tips that’ll help you set the scene for an epic celebration.

1. Leave the Lights On

It is imperative that your rave be well-lit. Benjamin Harrison was the first president to have electricity installed in the White House. He was so afraid of being electrocuted that he refused to touch the light switches. Consequently, he and his wife often left the lights on all night long. So if you want to rage Harrison-style, don’t expect to do it in the dark.

2. Rent a Goat!

Harrison kept a pet goat named Old Whiskers who would often pull the president's grandchildren around the White House lawn in a cart.

One day, Old Whiskers managed to slip through the White House gates and made a break for it, pulling the kids behind him. Harrison chased them down Pennsylvania Avenue, frantically waving his cane as he struggled to hold on to his top hat. Passersby eventually apprehended the rogue goat when they saw the president feverishly running after him. We suggest you unveil your Capricorn early to establish an Animal (White) House vibe early on.

3. Ice, Ice Baby!

Harrison wasn’t exactly a warm and fuzzy guy. In fact, he was known as “the human iceberg” —and it wasn’t exactly a term of endearment. Theodore Roosevelt once called Harrison “a cold-blooded, narrow-minded, prejudiced, obstinate, timid old psalm-singing Indianapolis politician.” To honor His Frigidness, prepare a party menu that includes plenty of chilled items. Serve up ice cream, ice pops, frozen margaritas, Patron on the rocks—anything below 32 degrees. Maybe even include a little Vanilla Ice or Ice Cube on your party playlist. We hear Harrison was a big fan of (18)90’s rap. (OK, that’s probably not true.)

4. Spend it Up . . .

If you’re throwing a party for Benjamin Harrison, get ready to part with some Benjamin Franklins. Harrison’s was the first administration to appropriate more than $1 billion in Congressional spending, and we’ve never looked back. While Harrison spent the money on internal improvements, naval expansion, subsidies for steamship lines, and veterans’ pensions, we suggest that you budget your bash differently.

5. . . . But Not at Walmart

If Harrison were alive today, we’re betting he wouldn’t be buying his party supplies at America’s superstore. During his presidency, Harrison supported the landmark Sherman Antitrust Act, the first bill that ever attempted to curb the power of America's corporate giants. Harrison was also a protectionist who favored high tariffs—meaning that businesses who wanted to import products from other countries had to pay major taxes. Harrison believed that consumers should buy American-made products at fair prices. He once said, “I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.”

6. Be Chill With Big Love

When it comes to a Benjamin Harrison rager, anything goes. Harrison wasn’t exactly your everyday swinger, but he did give his polygamist friends a free pass. In 1893, he issued a proclamation pardoning Mormons who had been in polygamous marriages on the condition that they stick to monogamy from then on. And though he may have appeared supremely traditional, Harrison had his fair share of romantic drama. After Harrison’s first wife Caroline passed away, he married her niece Mary – a widow nearly thirty years his junior.

7. VIP Treatment for the Bearded

Harrison was, regretfully, America’s last bearded president. To honor him right, give your bewhiskered guests special treatment. Rope off a reserved VIP section that only guests with beards can enter. Make sure that they get all sorts of presidential perks—like permission to eat all the chocolate out of the Neapolitan ice cream without consequence.

8. Serve Cleveland Sandwiches as Hors d’Oeuvres

Harrison’s presidency was sandwiched between Grover Cleveland’s two nonconsecutive terms. In 1888, Harrison lost the popular vote to Cleveland by a narrow margin, but won the Electoral College. In 1892, however, Harrison lost to Cleveland in a landslide—largely because his tariff policies were so unpopular. Scrumptious Cleveland sandwich hors d’oeuvres might consist of ice cream to represent the notoriously frigid Harrison, sandwiched between two soft, buttery cookies to symbolize the generously proportioned Cleveland.

9. Show the 700 Club

Turning on a TV or two can help create a party-appropriate ambiance. While your run-of-the mill nightclub probably shows music videos or sports games, we suggest a totally original program to really get the party started: The 700 Club. Televangelist Pat Robertson is a relative of the Harrison clan. Harrison was a born-again Christian himself, and his faith formed the sense of duty that underlaid his political activities. Harrison’s rhetoric reflected civil religious themes, advocating equal opportunity.

10. Steal the Stage

Make sure you prepare a few eloquent words to appease the mid-party calls for a speech. After all, it’s not a real Ben Harrison bash without a great speech or five. Harrison was known as an outstanding and prolific orator; he once made 140 different speeches in one month. That’s 4.67 distinct addresses per day! And he came by his love of public speaking honestly. Harrison’s grandfather, William Henry Harrison, gave the longest inaugural address on record; it lasted nearly two hours and was delivered outside in a snowstorm. (Grandpa Wills died of pneumonia about a month into his term, which many people attributed to his record-breaking address.) We suggest that you make your toast a little shorter, and consider holding it indoors just in case.

11. Ignore the Party Poopers

Harrison certainly wasn’t popular with everyone. In fact, some scholars argue that his economic policies contributed to the Panic of 1893 shortly after he left office. Although he’s not traditionally regarded as one of our most distinguished chief executives, recent historians have come to recognize the important achievements of the Harrison administration. Harrison helped usher the United States into a new epoch of international trade, convened the first Pan-American conference, championed for black citizens’ voting rights, admitted six states into the Union, and took the first step toward curbing the power of corporate giants – all while maintaining impeccably groomed facial hair. So if partygoers aren’t enjoying your awesome rager, give them some time (a hundred years or so) to get into the mood.

Looking to Downsize? You Can Buy a 5-Room DIY Cabin on Amazon for Less Than $33,000

Five rooms of one's own.
Five rooms of one's own.
Allwood/Amazon

If you’ve already mastered DIY houses for birds and dogs, maybe it’s time you built one for yourself.

As Simplemost reports, there are a number of house kits that you can order on Amazon, and the Allwood Avalon Cabin Kit is one of the quaintest—and, at $32,990, most affordable—options. The 540-square-foot structure has enough space for a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a sitting room—and there’s an additional 218-square-foot loft with the potential to be the coziest reading nook of all time.

You can opt for three larger rooms if you're willing to skip the kitchen and bathroom.Allwood/Amazon

The construction process might not be a great idea for someone who’s never picked up a hammer, but you don’t need an architectural degree to tackle it. Step-by-step instructions and all materials are included, so it’s a little like a high-level IKEA project. According to the Amazon listing, it takes two adults about a week to complete. Since the Nordic wood walls are reinforced with steel rods, the house can withstand winds up to 120 mph, and you can pay an extra $1000 to upgrade from double-glass windows and doors to triple-glass for added fortification.

Sadly, the cool ceiling lamp is not included.Allwood/Amazon

Though everything you need for the shell of the house comes in the kit, you will need to purchase whatever goes inside it: toilet, shower, sink, stove, insulation, and all other furnishings. You can also customize the blueprint to fit your own plans for the space; maybe, for example, you’re going to use the house as a small event venue, and you’d rather have two or three large, airy rooms and no kitchen or bedroom.

Intrigued? Find out more here.

[h/t Simplemost]

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What Benefits Do Presidents Get After They Leave Office?

Barack Obama walks on the colonnade after leaving the Oval Office for the last time as President on January 20, 2017.
Barack Obama walks on the colonnade after leaving the Oval Office for the last time as President on January 20, 2017.
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Former presidents have pursued a range of careers after departing the Oval Office. While many presidents have written books or made post-office careers of giving speeches to earn income, others have started nonprofit organizations to continue the charitable endeavors they were able to support during their presidential tenures. William Howard Taft took a different route when he went on to become a Supreme Court Justice. But after holding the highest office in the land, are presidents working because they have to—or because they want to? And what retirement benefits, if any, do former commanders-in-chief get?

According to the Former Presidents Act, which was passed in 1958, ex-presidents are entitled to a handful of benefits following their presidency, including a pension and funds for travel, office space, and personal staff. Dwight D. Eisenhower passed the act largely to help Harry Truman, who struggled to support himself after leaving the White House. Truman turned down a slew of cushy job offers, explaining that, "I could never lend myself to any transaction, however respectable, that would commercialize on the prestige and dignity of the office of the Presidency."

Today, more than 60 years later, former presidents can thank the Former Presidents Act and similar legislation for their lifelong benefits. The Secretary of the Treasury currently pays a lifetime annual pension of just north of $200,000 to Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama. If a former president dies before their spouse, the spouse gets an annual pension of $20,000 as well as franked mail privileges and lifelong Secret Service protection (unless they remarry).

The Government Services Administration pays for office space, furniture, staff, and supplies. It also reimburses them for their move out of the White House and any work-related travel they do. The amount of money former presidents get for their office space and staff varies. In 2010, for example, Carter’s office in Atlanta came in at $102,000 per year, while Bill Clinton’s New York office was $516,000.

Besides a pension and office-related funds, former presidents get lifelong Secret Service protection for themselves, their spouses, and their children under 16. In 1985, 11 years after resigning the presidency, former President Richard Nixon decided to forgo his Secret Service detail. Claiming that he wanted to save the U.S. government money—his Secret Service protection cost an estimated $3 million each year—Nixon opted to pay for his own bodyguard protection rather than have taxpayers fund it. Although Nixon was the only president to refuse Secret Service protection, his wife opted to drop her protection one year earlier.

Nixon's decision to resign the office of the presidency was probably a smart decision, financially speaking, as the Act indicates that a president who is forced out of office via impeachment would not be entitled to these post-presidency benefits. But because Nixon resigned before he could be impeached, the Department of Justice ruled that Nixon should be eligible to receive the same financial benefits of his fellow former presidents. Similarly, because Clinton was impeached but acquitted, his retirement benefits were safe.

Some critics point out that living former presidents, with their millions of dollars of income from speeches and books, shouldn’t use taxpayer money to supplement their already vast incomes. But it looks like benefits for former presidents are here to stay.

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