10 Old-Timey Exclamations From Across the U.S.

iStock
iStock

While swear words are awesome, there’s something to be said for old-fashioned exclamations—the more colorful the better. The Dictionary of American Regional English (DARE) delivers, and then some. Here are 10 particularly lively and old-timey exclamations from across the U.S.

1. HOT SPIT AND MONKEY VOMIT

The next time you can’t find your keys, you can yell, “Hot spit and monkey vomit!” This rather disgusting expression is from Texas.

2. MISERY ME

If you prefer your oaths on the the more delicate side, misery me (also miserable me and misery) might be for you. Similar to “Dear me!” the saying has origins in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and West Virginia.

3. CARRY ME OUT WITH THE TONGS

If someone gives you surprising news, surprise them by saying, “Well carry me out with the tongs!”

4. I’LL BE HOG WALLERED

If you're surprised or skeptical in Indiana, you might say, "I'll be hog wallered!" What the heck’s a hog waller? A place where hogs make their beds and, figuratively, a poor or out-of-the-way place.

5. I'LL BE GO-TO-HELL

I’ll be go-to-hell!” you can holler when you’re surprised or annoyed, whether in New York, Utah, Pennsylvania, Vermont, or Alabama.

6. I'LL BE COW-KICKED

This “often jocular” substitute for I’ll be damned is chiefly used in the North, according to DARE. You can liven up the euphemism by adding by a jackass, mule, or grasshopper.

7. CUSSADANG

Say you’ve whacked your shin on the coffee table but can’t swear: Cussadang to the rescue. The blend of cuss and dang is native to Arizona.

8. UFF-DA

Uff-da!” you can proclaim to the puzzlement of your friends the next time you’re surprised, disgusted, or in pain. This equivalent of Ay caramba! or Oy vey! is Norwegian in origin, and its usage has been recorded in Wisconsin, North Dakota, Alaska, Maryland, Iowa, and Minnesota. One quote in DARE describes the rough translation as “Oh my goodness” or “Oh no,” and says the expression “can be used when things go wrong or in disgust.” Uff-da is also described as “an expression of weariness or exertion,” and “an all-purpose exclamation of frustration” or amazement. And if you want to be a little more forceful, you can say, “Uff-day fyda!”

9. MURDERATION

Surprised? Annoyed? Disgusted? Just shout “Murderation!” This euphemistic take on damnation is from West Virginia, and in Indiana is the even more colorful variation “Murderin’ infants!”

10. THUNDER AND TOM WALKER

While you might have already heard of thunderation, consider also adding thunder and Tom Walker to your bag of exclamations. This Alabama expression might be related to another intensive, the devil and Tom Walker, used in New England and the South Midland. As for Tom Walker, he’s the titular character in Washington Irving’s short story, "The Devil and Tom Walker," in which he makes an ill-fated deal with the devil. At least he left us with some colorful expressions.

10 Rad Gifts for Hikers

Greg Rosenke/Unsplash
Greg Rosenke/Unsplash

The popularity of bird-watching, camping, and hiking has skyrocketed this year. Whether your gift recipients are weekend warriors or seasoned dirtbags, they'll appreciate these tools and gear for getting most out of their hiking experience.

1. Stanley Nesting Two-Cup Cookset; $14

Amazon

Stanley’s compact and lightweight cookset includes a 20-ounce stainless steel pot with a locking handle, a vented lid, and two insulated 10-ounce tumblers. It’s the perfect size for brewing hot coffee, rehydrating soup, or boiling water while out on the trail with a buddy. And as some hardcore backpackers note in their Amazon reviews, your favorite hiker can take the tumblers out and stuff the pot with a camp stove, matches, and other necessities to make good use of space in their pack.

Buy it: Amazon

2. Osprey Sirrus and Stratos 24-Liter Hiking Packs; $140

Amazon

Osprey’s packs are designed with trail-tested details to maximize comfort and ease of use. The Sirrus pack (pictured) is sized for women, while the Stratos fits men’s proportions. Both include an internal sleeve for a hydration reservoir, exterior mesh and hipbelt pockets, an attachment for carrying trekking poles, and a built-in rain cover.

Buy them: Amazon, Amazon

3. Yeti Rambler 18-Ounce Bottle; $48

Amazon

Nothing beats ice-cold water after a summer hike or a sip of hot tea during a winter walk. The Yeti Rambler can serve up both: Beverages can stay hot or cold for hours thanks to its insulated construction, and its steel body (in a variety of colors) is basically indestructible. It will add weight to your hiker's pack, though—for a lighter-weight, non-insulated option, the tried-and-true Camelbak Chute water bottle is incredibly sturdy and leakproof.

Buy it: Amazon

4. Mappinners Greatest 100 Hikes of the National Parks Scratch-Off Poster; $30

Amazon

The perfect gift for park baggers in your life (or yourself), this 16-inch-by-20-inch poster features epic hikes like Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park and Half Dome in Yosemite National Park. Once the hike is complete, you can scratch off the gold foil to reveal an illustration of the park.

Buy it: Amazon

5. National Geographic Adventure Edition Road Atlas; $19

Amazon

Hikers can use this brand-new, updated road atlas to plan their next adventure. In addition to comprehensive maps of all 50 states, Puerto Rico, Canada, and Mexico, they'll get National Geographic’s top 100 outdoor destinations, useful details about the most popular national parks, and points on the maps noting off-the-beaten-path places to explore.  

Buy it: Amazon

6. Adventure Medical Kits Hiker First-Aid Kit; $25

Amazon

This handy 67-piece kit is stuffed with all the things you hope your hiker will never need in the wilderness. Not only does it contain supplies for pain, cuts and scrapes, burns, and blisters (every hiker’s nemesis!), the items are organized clearly in the bag to make it easy to find tweezers or an alcohol wipe in an emergency.

Buy it: Amazon

7. Hiker Hunger Ultralight Trekking Poles; $70

Amazon

Trekking poles will help increase your hiker's balance and stability and reduce strain on their lower body by distributing it to their arms and shoulders. This pair is made of carbon fiber, a super-strong and lightweight material. From the sweat-absorbing cork handles to the selection of pole tips for different terrain, these poles answer every need on the trail. 

Buy it: Amazon

8. Leatherman Signal Camping Multitool; $120

Amazon

What can’t this multitool do? This gadget contains 19 hiking-friendly tools in a 4.5-inch package, including pliers, screwdrivers, bottle opener, saw, knife, hammer, wire cutter, and even an emergency whistle.

Buy it: Amazon

9. RAVPower Power Bank; $24

Amazon

Don’t let your hiker get caught off the grid with a dead phone. They can charge RAVPower’s compact power bank before they head out on the trail, and then use it to quickly juice up a phone or tablet when the batteries get low. Its 3-inch-by-5-inch profile won’t take up much room in a pack or purse.

Buy it: Amazon

10. Pack of Four Indestructible Field Books; $14

Amazon

Neither rain, nor snow, nor hail will be a match for these waterproof, tearproof 3.5-inch-by-5.5-inch notebooks. Your hiker can stick one in their pocket along with a regular pen or pencil to record details of their hike or brainstorm their next viral Tweet.

Buy it: Amazon

Sign Up Today: Get exclusive deals, product news, reviews, and more with the Mental Floss Smart Shopping newsletter!

This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Mental Floss may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Filtration Software Censored the Word Bone at a Paleontology Conference

Lisa Yount, Unsplash
Lisa Yount, Unsplash

Paleontology is the study of natural history through fossils, so the word bone comes up a lot in the field. That didn't stop the term from being censored by software at this year's Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference, The New York Times reports.

The Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference has been held for 80 years, and this year it was conducted virtually for the first time due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The new format was largely successful, except when it came to navigating the chat software's filtration system. A built-in algorithm was programmed to censor any words that may have been inappropriate for the professional event. The software blocked out anything offensive, as well as many benign words paleontologists use every day.

T. rex expert Thomas R. Holtz Jr. first noticed the problem when he tried typing "Hell Creek Formation," the name of a fossil hotspot in Montana, while responding to a question. The program replaced the word hell with four asterisks, inspiring some paleontologists to jokingly refer to the site as "Heck Creek."

Hell was one of the less surprising terms that was flagged by the software. In addition to bone, the system also blocked the words pubis, crack, penetrate, stroke, stream, and enlargement. Holtz shared a spreadsheet of the censored words on Twitter.

Convey Services, the company contracted by the conference to provide the chat software, has responded to the complaints by taking a closer look at the list of words that trigger the filter. So if the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology uses the same software again, they will be able to talk about the enlarged crack in a pubis bone they dug up near Hell Creek without fear of censorship.

[h/t The New York Times]