While swear words are awesome, there’s something to be said for old-fashioned exclamations—the more colorful the better. The Dictionary of American Regional English (DARE) delivers, and then some. Here are 10 particularly lively and old-timey exclamations from across the U.S.
1. HOT SPIT AND MONKEY VOMIT
The next time you can’t find your keys, you can yell, “Hot spit and monkey vomit!” This rather disgusting expression is from Texas.
2. MISERY ME
If you prefer your oaths on the the more delicate side, misery me (also miserable me and misery) might be for you. Similar to “Dear me!” the saying has origins in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and West Virginia.
3. CARRY ME OUT WITH THE TONGS
If someone gives you surprising news, surprise them by saying, “Well carry me out with the tongs!”
4. I’LL BE HOG WALLERED
If you're surprised or skeptical in Indiana, you might say, "I'll be hog wallered!" What the heck’s a hog waller? A place where hogs make their beds and, figuratively, a poor or out-of-the-way place.
5. I'LL BE GO-TO-HELL
“I’ll be go-to-hell!” you can holler when you’re surprised or annoyed, whether in New York, Utah, Pennsylvania, Vermont, or Alabama.
6. I'LL BE COW-KICKED
This “often jocular” substitute for I’ll be damned is chiefly used in the North, according to DARE. You can liven up the euphemism by adding by a jackass, mule, or grasshopper.
Say you’ve whacked your shin on the coffee table but can’t swear: Cussadang to the rescue. The blend of cuss and dang is native to Arizona.
“Uff-da!” you can proclaim to the puzzlement of your friends the next time you’re surprised, disgusted, or in pain. This equivalent of Ay caramba! or Oy vey! is Norwegian in origin, and its usage has been recorded in Wisconsin, North Dakota, Alaska, Maryland, Iowa, and Minnesota. One quote in DARE describes the rough translation as “Oh my goodness” or “Oh no,” and says the expression “can be used when things go wrong or in disgust.” Uff-da is also described as “an expression of weariness or exertion,” and “an all-purpose exclamation of frustration” or amazement. And if you want to be a little more forceful, you can say, “Uff-day fyda!”
Surprised? Annoyed? Disgusted? Just shout “Murderation!” This euphemistic take on damnation is from West Virginia, and in Indiana is the even more colorful variation “Murderin’ infants!”
10. THUNDER AND TOM WALKER
While you might have already heard of thunderation, consider also adding thunder and Tom Walker to your bag of exclamations. This Alabama expression might be related to another intensive, the devil and Tom Walker, used in New England and the South Midland. As for Tom Walker, he’s the titular character in Washington Irving’s short story, "The Devil and Tom Walker," in which he makes an ill-fated deal with the devil. At least he left us with some colorful expressions.