Look, it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it: Hauntworld.com has scoured the country for the scariest and weirdest haunted houses from coast to coast. Here are the attractions they've deemed most likely to make you pee your pants.
1. 13th Floor, Denver, Colorado
The undead don’t just jump out from behind walls at the 13th Floor; suspended on wires, they move quickly and silently and can appear from just about anywhere. And a writer from the Denver Post almost called his tour off at the Room of Spiders.
2. Bates Motel, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
If serious special effects are what you look for in a haunted house experience, look no further than Bates Motel, which has effects that are so impressive they've been compared to the backlot tour at Universal Studios.
3. Headless Horseman, Ulster Park, New York
If you’ve ever wanted to see the Headless Horseman live and in the flesh—well, maybe not live, exactly—here’s your chance. Hauntworld calls this the best haunted hayride in the country, with incredibly detailed sets and over the top costumes.
4. Cutting Edge, Dallas, Texas
If you’re in the Dallas area and you’re thinking you’ll run through this one really quick, think again: The Cutting Edge once held the Guinness World Record for the longest haunted house in the world.
5. Netherworld, Atlanta, Georgia
As the most-visited haunted house in the U.S., Netherworld pulls out all the stops—including haunting the parking lot, before people have even paid for the scares.
6. 13th Gate, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Two words: Live. Snakes. Thousands of them. And if that doesn’t do it for you, check out the “old-fashioned Voodoo Fire Show” on the weekends.
7. Field of Screams, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Though part of Field of Screams is the Dead River Haunted Hayride, the longest haunted hayride in the world, attractions also include a haunted insane asylum and the “4-D Cirque du Souls.”
8. The Darkness, St. Louis, Missouri
After you work your way through an Indiana Jones-esque temple, you’ll find yourself in a haunted mansion with all of the trimmings: a mirror maze, a greenhouse with man-eating plants, a boiler room, and a wine cellar. But the real kicker is the 3D haunted house that comes at the end.
9. House of Torment, Austin, Texas
There are no random scares at the House of Torment. Every night, a mastermind sits at a control room and watches the guests coming through. This evil genius then picks the exact moment and the exact type of terror that each individual guest experiences.
10. Erebus, Pontiac, Michigan
Hauntworld has deemed this four-story attraction “the most unique haunted house in America,” probably because it’s no mere walk-through, though it is more than a half-mile of scares. Erebus includes walls that actually close in on guests, “bottomless” pits, waist-high swamps victims have to wade through, and a ball drop that buries guests in 10,000 of those little balls you find in the germ pit at Chuck-E-Cheese.
11. Dent Schoolhouse, Cincinnati, Ohio
Within the Dent Schoolhouse in Cincinnati lurks a serial-killing janitor. And if that isn’t enough, there’s also a creepy lunchlady, a whole classroom of children who are definitely not there to learn ABCs, and clowns. Because of course there are clowns.
12. Spookywoods, High Point, North Carolina
It’s not just one haunted experience—it’s a midway, an inn, a mine, a corn field, a graveyard, and even a cathedral. The whole setup inhabits most of a 60-acre farm.
13. Nightmare on the Bayou, Houston, Texas
Nightmare on the Bayou, according to some, is actually haunted (aren’t they all?). But since it is located next to Houston’s oldest graveyard, you can almost believe the claims.