15 Weird Things Celebrities Have Autographed

Getty Images
Getty Images

We’ve all seen videos of rock stars signing women’s breasts, even their butts. There are even super fans who have celebrity autographs tattooed on their skin. In fact, signing body parts isn’t even that weird these days. Here are a few of the strangest things we could find autographed by celebrities.

1. A Toilet Seat

According to the eBayer who put up this item for sale, Sister Hazel performed a concert at Wingate University a while back. At some point, they needed to use the bathroom, and the eBayer’s apartment was nearby—so as a thank you, they signed his toilet seat. As of the time of this writing, the item is going for $58.50, but there are still four days left for the price to skyrocket.

2. A Dog

NASCAR racer Kasey Kahne says he "thought it was weird to sign a dog. He didn't have much hair, so [I was] signing his back—that was kind of odd." 

3. A Twinkie

What’s weirder than autographing a sealed Twinkie? Going on eBay to bid on a Twinkie you already autographed. But that’s what baseball player David Price did after the Hostess shutdown in 2012. While Yahoo News doesn’t have a report on whether or not the pitcher actually won the Twinkie, or even if he actually bid on it (the final bid ended at $56), he did say in his Twitter account that if he won the item, he would save it and give it to his kids at some point. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of any more meaningful thing for a father to give his child than a Twinkie he signed.

When asked if that was the weirdest thing he ever signed, Price said that honor went to a baby’s forehead.

4. A Grilled Cheese

Los Angeles Kings (and Team USA) goalie Jonathan Quick says someone once asked him to sign a grilled cheese sandwich. "It wouldn't be that bad if it was still intact, but there were two bites taken out of it, and he handed it to me," Quick said. "There was still saliva on it. So that was kinda weird."

5. Babies

As it turns out, people asking professional athletes to sign their babies isn’t as rare as you might think. Here’s a photo from @NBASummerLeague of NBA player Nate Robinson signing one, though I suppose he should be glad it’s only the kid’s back.

According to basketball player Marcin Gortat, “I recently signed a forehead of a freshly born baby, which was ridiculous. And I said, ‘Why would you want to do that?’ and the lady said, ‘It’s gonna be a sign he’s gonna be a basketball player.’ So, for some reason, I don’t know why I signed it, why I did it, I felt bad for this kid. But at the end of the day I realized I would never do this again.” Probably a good policy.

6. A Fast Food Container

Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco autographs a lot of stuff. But the weirdest, he says, was a Filet-O-Fish box from McDonald's.

7. A Diaper

For those who want the powers and prowess of a top athlete to wear off on their infant, but don’t want their babies to be signed directly, there’s always diapers. And during the last Olympic games, one lucky fan was able to win a diaper autographed by U.S. Olympic goldmedalistsr Noelle Pikus-Pace and Chad Hedrick courtesy of And Twins Make 5. No word on whether or not the winner actually used the diaper on their baby or not.

8. A Tampon

You might not have ever heard of The FP and you might not ever see the movie. But while the filmmakers, the Trost Bros., may not be household names, there’s still a reason you might care about their autographs—they come on a tampon when you buy the DVD from Drafthouse films. Apparently, there’s a meaningful scene in the movie involving a tampon.

9. A Jock Strap

Rugby player Ben Cohen once signed a jock strap, but that’s not quite as dirty as it sounds—he signed it for a charity auction to support GMFA, a gay men’s health charity in Britain. The jock strap must have garnered some good interest because it went for $460.

10. Underwear

Speaking of undergarments, Baseball Hall of Famer Jim Palmer once signed a pair of underwear (unworn, though), which were sold on eBay last August. In case you’re wondering how much a pair of autographed tighty-whiteys can go for, these specific ones sold for $69.99.

11. A Leather Whip

Hockey player Karl Alzner of the Washington Capitals says he was once asked to sign a woman’s leather whip. "It was odd," he said. "I don’t know what it was for and I don’t want to think about it."

12. A Sock

You have to be a real fan to want a sock signed by your favorite athlete. Oddly, professional wrestler Mick Foley actually autographed a number socks at one point—enough to have them individually numbered and sold on the Walmart website.

Foley’s socks were new though, but a recent eBay auction had a listing for a game-worn autographed sock from NHL player John McIntyre. Apparently even the most diehard fans know how bad a sock shoved in hockey skates for a whole game will smell, because this one-of-a-kind piece of sports memorabilia only went for $21.

13. A Vibrator

Lots of ladies love Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam, but only one of them was happy to have him sign their vibrator and post a photo of it on Tumblr. If you’re wondering what an actor might write on such an item, Charlie scribbled out “Have Fun." For the sake of being SFW, I’m going to omit this image, but if you want to see him autographic the item in question or the finished signature, just visit the River of Life Tumblr link here.

14. A Prosthetic Leg

Mark McGwire, one of the all-time home run hitting champions of baseball, once signed a fan’s prosthetic leg.

15. A Car Dashboard

San Jose Sharks' Dan Boyle once autographed the dashboard of a car for a fan—and not just any car, but a really nice, expensive one. "It was like, an Aston Martin or something," he said.

Looking to Downsize? You Can Buy a 5-Room DIY Cabin on Amazon for Less Than $33,000

Five rooms of one's own.
Five rooms of one's own.
Allwood/Amazon

If you’ve already mastered DIY houses for birds and dogs, maybe it’s time you built one for yourself.

As Simplemost reports, there are a number of house kits that you can order on Amazon, and the Allwood Avalon Cabin Kit is one of the quaintest—and, at $32,990, most affordable—options. The 540-square-foot structure has enough space for a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a sitting room—and there’s an additional 218-square-foot loft with the potential to be the coziest reading nook of all time.

You can opt for three larger rooms if you're willing to skip the kitchen and bathroom.Allwood/Amazon

The construction process might not be a great idea for someone who’s never picked up a hammer, but you don’t need an architectural degree to tackle it. Step-by-step instructions and all materials are included, so it’s a little like a high-level IKEA project. According to the Amazon listing, it takes two adults about a week to complete. Since the Nordic wood walls are reinforced with steel rods, the house can withstand winds up to 120 mph, and you can pay an extra $1000 to upgrade from double-glass windows and doors to triple-glass for added fortification.

Sadly, the cool ceiling lamp is not included.Allwood/Amazon

Though everything you need for the shell of the house comes in the kit, you will need to purchase whatever goes inside it: toilet, shower, sink, stove, insulation, and all other furnishings. You can also customize the blueprint to fit your own plans for the space; maybe, for example, you’re going to use the house as a small event venue, and you’d rather have two or three large, airy rooms and no kitchen or bedroom.

Intrigued? Find out more here.

[h/t Simplemost]

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10 Facts About Real Genius On Its 35th Anniversary

Val Kilmer stars in Martha Coolidge's Real Genius (1985).
Val Kilmer stars in Martha Coolidge's Real Genius (1985).
Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

In an era where nerd is a nickname given by and to people who have pretty much any passing interest in popular culture, it’s hard to imagine the way old-school nerds—people with serious and socially-debilitating obsessions—were once ostracized. Computers, progressive rock, and role-playing games (among a handful of other 1970s- early '80s developments) created a path from which far too many of the lonely, awkward, and conventionally undateable would never return. But in the 1980s, movies transformed these oddballs into underdogs and antiheroes, pitting them against attractive, moneyed, successful adversaries for the fate of handsome boys and pretty girls, cushy jobs, and first-place trophies.

The 1985 film Real Genius ranked first among equals from that decade for its stellar cast, sensitive direction, and genuine nerd bona fides. Perhaps fittingly, it sometimes feels overshadowed, and even forgotten, next to broader, bawdier (and certainly now, more problematic) films from the era like Revenge of the Nerds and Weird Science. But director Martha Coolidge delivered a classic slobs-versus-snobs adventure that manages to view the academically gifted and socially maladjusted with a greater degree of understanding and compassion while still delivering plenty of good-natured humor.

As the movie commemorates its 35th anniversary, we're looking back at the little details and painstaking efforts that make it such an enduring portrait not just of ‘80s comedy, but of nerdom itself.

1. Producer Brian Grazer wanted Valley Girl director Martha Coolidge to direct Real Genius. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Following the commercial success of 1984’s Revenge of the Nerds, there was an influx of bawdy scripts that played upon the same idea, and Real Genius was one of them. In 2011, Coolidge told Kickin’ It Old School that the original script for Real Genius "had a lot of penis and scatological jokes," and she wasn't interested in directing a raunchy Nerds knock-off. So producer Brian Grazer enlisted PJ Torokvei (SCTV) and writing partners Babaloo Mandel and Lowell Ganz (Splash, City Slickers) to refine the original screenplay, and then gave Coolidge herself an opportunity to polish it before production started. “Brian's original goal, and mine, was to make a film that focused on nerds as heroes," Coolidge said. "It was ahead of its time."

2. Martha Coolidge’s priority was getting the science in Real Genius right—or at least as right as possible.

In the film, ambitious professor Jerry Hathaway (William Atherton) recruits high-achieving students at the fictional Pacific Technical University (inspired by Caltech) to design and build a laser capable of hitting a human-sized target from space. Coolidge researched the subject thoroughly, working with academic, scientific, and military technicians to ensure that as many of the script and story's elements were correct. Moreover, she ensured that the dialogue would hold up to some scrutiny, even if building a laser of the film’s dimensions wasn’t realistic (and still isn’t today).

3. One element of Real Genius that Martha Coolidge didn’t base on real events turned out to be truer than expected.

From the beginning, the idea that students were actively being exploited by their teacher to develop government technology was always fictional. But Coolidge learned that art and life share more in common than she knew at the time. “I have had so many letters since I made Real Genius from people who said, 'Yes, I was involved in a program and I didn’t realize I was developing weapons,'" she told Uproxx in 2015. “So it was a good guess and turned out to be quite accurate.”

4. Val Kilmer walked into his Real Genius audition already in character—and it nearly cost him the role.

After playing the lead in Top Secret!, Val Kilmer was firmly on Hollywood’s radar. But when he met Grazer at his audition for Real Genius, Kilmer decided to have some fun at the expense of the guy who would decide whether or not he’d get the part. "The character wasn't polite," Kilmer recalled to Entertainment Weekly in 1995. "So when I shook Grazer's hand and he said, 'Hi, I'm the producer,' I said, 'I'm sorry. You look like you're 12 years old. I like to work with men.'"

5. The filmmakers briefly considered using an actual “real genius” to star in Real Genius.

Among the performers considered to play Mitch, the wunderkind student who sets the movie’s story in motion, was a true genius who graduated college at 14 and was starting law school. Late in the casting process, they found their Mitch in Gabriel Jarrett, who becomes the third generation of overachievers (after Kilmer’s Chris and Jon Gries’s Lazlo Hollyfeld) whose talent Hathaway uses to further his own professional goals.

6. Real Genius's female lead inadvertently created a legacy for her character that would continue in animated form.

Michelle Meyrink, Gabriel Jarret, Val Kilmer, and Mark Kamiyama in Real Genius (1985).Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

Michelle Meyrink was a staple of a number of ‘80s comedies, including Revenge of the Nerds. Playing Jordan in Real Genius, she claims to “never sleep” and offers a delightful portrait of high-functioning attention-deficit disorder with a chipper, erratic personality. Disney’s Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers co-creator Tad Stones has confirmed that her character went on to inspire the character of Gadget Hackwrench.

7. A Real Genius subplot, where a computer programmer is gaming a Frito-Lay contest, was based on real events.

In the film, Jon Gries (Napoleon Dynamite) plays Lazlo Hollyfeld, a reclusive genius from before Chris and Mitch’s time who lives in a bunker beneath their dorm creating entries to a contest with no restrictions where he eventually wins more than 30 percent of the prizes. In 1969, students from Caltech tried a similar tactic with Frito-Lay to game the odds. But in 1975, three computer programmers used an IBM to generate 1.2 million entries in a contest for McDonald’s, where they received 20 percent of the prizes (and a lot of complaints from customers) for their effort.

8. One of Real Genius's cast members went on to write another tribute to nerds a decade later.

Dean Devlin, who co-wrote Stargate and Independence Day with Roland Emmerich, plays Milton, another student at Pacific Tech who experiences a memorable meltdown in the rush up to finals.

9. The popcorn gag that ends Real Genius isn’t really possible, but they used real popcorn to simulate it.

At the end of the film, Chris and Mitch build a giant Jiffy Pop pack that the laser unleashes after they redirect its targeting system. The resulting popcorn fills Professor Hathaway’s house as an act of revenge. MythBusters took pains to recreate this gag in a number of ways, but quickly discovered that it wouldn’t work; even at scale, the popcorn just burns in the heat of a laser.

To pull off the scene in the film, Coolidge said that the production had people popping corn for six weeks of filming in order to get enough for the finale. After that, they had to build a house that they could manipulate with hydraulics so that the popcorn would “explode” out of every doorway and window.

10. Real Genius was the first movie to be promoted on the internet.

A week before Real Genius opened, promoters set up a press conference at a computer store in Westwood, California. Coolidge and members of the cast appeared to field questions from press from across the country—connected via CompuServe. Though the experience was evidently marred by technical problems (this was the mid-1980s, after all), the event marked the debut of what became the online roundtable junket.