The Time Johnny Cash’s Estate Went to War Over Hemorrhoid Cream

Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Hulton Archive/Getty Images

In early 2004, singer/songwriter Merle Kilgore received a phone call from a TV production company in Florida wanting his input on an idea for an advertisement: Wouldn’t it be funny if Johnny Cash’s "Ring of Fire" was used in a commercial for hemorrhoid ointment?

Here's how the Ottawa Citizen described the concept for the commercial:

"Ring of Fire" plays in the background as the camera pans an apartment, with a briefcase and shoes scattered on the floor. Suddenly, the bathroom door opens and a relieved woman in a business suit walks out, leaving a tube of Preparation H lying on the countertop. The commercial ends with a closeup of the tube.

Kilgore, who co-wrote the 1963 hit song with Johnny's wife June Carter Cash, chuckled at the idea. Of course he found the idea funny, he told them. In fact, he had been telling that joke for years! Every time Kilgore played the tune for an audience, he introduced it with a short comedy routine: “Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give credit where credit is due,” he’d say. “I dedicate this song to the makers of Preparation H.”

And then he’d begin to sing: “And it burns burns burns, that ring of fire, that ring of fire …”

When Cash’s family found out that Kilgore was thinking about giving the production company permission to use "Ring of Fire" in a hemorrhoid cream advertisement, they were not amused. Previously, the song had been used in a commercial for Levi's and a rumored ad in Britain for spicy foods, but this one walked (off) the line. And since the song had been co-written by June Carter Cash, the family had the right to veto the decision.

"[Kilgore] started talking about this moronic tie-in without talking to any of us," Rosanne Cash, Johnny's eldest daughter, told The Tennessean. "We would never allow the song to be demeaned like that.”

When Kilgore heard the Cash family was unhappy, he nixed the idea and acted contrite. “I certainly didn’t want to upset the Cash family because I love them,” he said. “I just thought it was kind of funny.”

Sometimes, people just don't like being the butt of a joke.

London Calling: The Clash Is the Subject of a New Exhibition at the Museum of London

Paul Simonon's Fender Precision bass, which he smashed onstage at New York City's Palladium on September 21, 1979.
Paul Simonon's Fender Precision bass, which he smashed onstage at New York City's Palladium on September 21, 1979.
© The Clash

On September 21, 1979, when British punk legends The Clash tried to amp up the crowd at The Palladium in New York, security guards pushed fans back into their seats.

According to guitar-makers Fender, this frustrated Clash bassist Paul Simonon so much that he smashed his cherished Fender Precision bass on the stage, creating possibly the most famous rock ’n’ roll photo opportunity of all time—which would also serve as the cover art for the Clash's groundbreaking third album, London Calling.

preliminary sketch of the clash's london calling cover album art
A preliminary sketch by Ray Lowry for the London Calling cover artwork.
© Samuel Lowry

To celebrate this December’s 40th anniversary of its release, the Museum of London has curated a free exhibition that features many of the band’s belongings, images, music, and even Simonon’s surprisingly well-preserved broken bass.

It’s not the only iconic instrument on display—you can also see Mick Jones’s 1950s Gibson ES-295, which he used to record the album and the music video for its titular track, and Joe Strummer’s white 1950s Fender Esquire from the same era. And, if you look closely at Topper Headon’s drumsticks, you’ll notice that they’re stamped with the words “Topper’s Boppers.” According to NME, it’s the only item of Headon’s that’s still around from the London Calling days.

topper headon's drumsticks from the clash
Topper Headon's drumsticks.
© The Clash

The exhibit also includes sketches from artist Ray Lowry that depict scenes from the London Calling tour, photos taken by Pennie Smith (who snapped the London Calling cover image), a doodle-heavy track listing for the four-sided double album written by Jones, and many other items.

the clash at london calling video shoot
The Clash at the London Calling music video shoot along the River Thames.
© Pennie Smith

mick jones's track listing for the london calling album
Mick Jones's handwritten track listing for the album.
© The Clash

And, of course, any rock ’n’ roll display wouldn’t be complete without at least one leather jacket—the Museum of London is showcasing Simonon’s jacket from the late '70s.

Paul Simonon's leather jacket
Paul Simonon's leather jacket.
© The Clash

If you’re a little farther than a train ride away from London, there’s time to make some travel plans: The exhibit is open until April 19, 2020.

[h/t NME]

What Are the 12 Days of Christmas?

Tevarak/iStock via Getty Images
Tevarak/iStock via Getty Images

Everyone knows to expect a partridge in a pear tree from your true love on the first day of Christmas ... But when is the first day of Christmas?

You'd think that the 12 days of Christmas would lead up to the big day—that's how countdowns work, as any year-end list would illustrate—but in Western Christianity, "Christmas" actually begins on December 25th and ends on January 5th. According to liturgy, the 12 days signify the time in between the birth of Christ and the night before Epiphany, which is the day the Magi visited bearing gifts. This is also called "Twelfth Night." (Epiphany is marked in most Western Christian traditions as happening on January 6th, and in some countries, the 12 days begin on December 26th.)

As for the ubiquitous song, it is said to be French in origin and was first printed in England in 1780. Rumors spread that it was a coded guide for Catholics who had to study their faith in secret in 16th-century England when Catholicism was against the law. According to the Christian Resource Institute, the legend is that "The 'true love' mentioned in the song is not an earthly suitor, but refers to God Himself. The 'me' who receives the presents refers to every baptized person who is part of the Christian Faith. Each of the 'days' represents some aspect of the Christian Faith that was important for children to learn."

In debunking that story, Snopes excerpted a 1998 email that lists what each object in the song supposedly symbolizes:

2 Turtle Doves = the Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

There is pretty much no historical evidence pointing to the song's secret history, although the arguments for the legend are compelling. In all likelihood, the song's "code" was invented retroactively.

Hidden meaning or not, one thing is definitely certain: You have "The Twelve Days of Christmas" stuck in your head right now.

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