'The 179 Days of Christmas' Is a 9-Hour-Long Holiday Song That's Designed to Be Hated

Joren Cull, YouTube
Joren Cull, YouTube

Officially, the longest song ever released is "The Rise and Fall of Bassanova," a 13-plus-hour electronic epic that came out in 2016. Yet somehow, a new song released for Christmas 2018 feels so much longer that that. "The 179 Days of Christmas," introduced to us by The A.V. Club, is almost nine hours of nonstop, terrible lyrics bopping along to a cartoony woodblock beat.

We can't recommend the song, per se, but we certainly appreciate its dedication to the concept. Created by illustrator Joren Cull and musician AJ Ing, it's a play on "The Twelve Days of Christmas" that considers what else someone could receive for the holidays—with a sense of humor straight out of South Park.

Accompanied by cute animations from Cull, the lyrics are a hodgepodge of odd, random, and occasionally super-dark concepts to dwell on. The list begins with things that conceivably could be OK to receive as gifts—say "14 singing Furbies"—and then it gets weirder. Suddenly, you're up to "35 dreams that crumbled," "66 dancing earthworms," "70 unpaid interns," and "94 allergic reactions." To get a sense of the writers' sensibilities, you need only know that the entry for the number 69 is simply a cackle of laughter.

Last year, the Port of Vancouver—as in, the transportation authority for Canada's largest port—hired a choir to sing a three-and-a-half-hour-long song about the 6000-odd items that passed through its control in 2017, labeling it the world's longest holiday song. This video takes the concept to a whole other level.

All of this is to say that if you really want to play a prank on your family this holiday season, stick this tune on your Christmas party playlist. We bet—really, hope—you won't be able to sit through the whole thing. Listen below if you dare.

[h/t The A.V. Club]

Looking to Downsize? You Can Buy a 5-Room DIY Cabin on Amazon for Less Than $33,000

Five rooms of one's own.
Five rooms of one's own.
Allwood/Amazon

If you’ve already mastered DIY houses for birds and dogs, maybe it’s time you built one for yourself.

As Simplemost reports, there are a number of house kits that you can order on Amazon, and the Allwood Avalon Cabin Kit is one of the quaintest—and, at $32,990, most affordable—options. The 540-square-foot structure has enough space for a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a sitting room—and there’s an additional 218-square-foot loft with the potential to be the coziest reading nook of all time.

You can opt for three larger rooms if you're willing to skip the kitchen and bathroom.Allwood/Amazon

The construction process might not be a great idea for someone who’s never picked up a hammer, but you don’t need an architectural degree to tackle it. Step-by-step instructions and all materials are included, so it’s a little like a high-level IKEA project. According to the Amazon listing, it takes two adults about a week to complete. Since the Nordic wood walls are reinforced with steel rods, the house can withstand winds up to 120 mph, and you can pay an extra $1000 to upgrade from double-glass windows and doors to triple-glass for added fortification.

Sadly, the cool ceiling lamp is not included.Allwood/Amazon

Though everything you need for the shell of the house comes in the kit, you will need to purchase whatever goes inside it: toilet, shower, sink, stove, insulation, and all other furnishings. You can also customize the blueprint to fit your own plans for the space; maybe, for example, you’re going to use the house as a small event venue, and you’d rather have two or three large, airy rooms and no kitchen or bedroom.

Intrigued? Find out more here.

[h/t Simplemost]

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25 Amazing Facts for International Beer Day

iStock
iStock

Every year, suds lovers celebrate International Beer Day on August 7—which makes it the pefect day to share any one of these amazing facts about beer.

1. After he won the Nobel Prize, Niels Bohr was given a perpetual supply of beer piped into his house.

2. The Code of Hammurabi decreed that bartenders who watered down beer would be executed.

3. At the Wife Carrying World Championships, first prize is the wife's weight in beer.

4. A cloud near the constellation Aquila contains enough ethyl alcohol to fill 400 trillion trillion pints of beer.

5. Coined in the early 1900s, the word alcoholiday means leisure time spent drinking.

6. The builders of the Great Pyramid of Giza were paid with a daily ration of beer.

7. During WWII, a bear named Wojtek joined the Polish army. He transported ammunition and sometimes drank beer.

8. Fried beer won Most Creative Fried Food at the 2010 Texas State Fair.

9. The top five states for beer consumption per capita: 1. New Hampshire, 2. Montana, 3. Vermont, 4. North Dakota, 5. South Dakota.

10. Germany is home to a beer pipeline. Taps in Veltsin-Arena are connected by a 5km tube of beer.

11. Thomas Jefferson wrote parts of the Declaration of Independence in a Philadelphia tavern.

12. Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty glass.

13. At the end of Prohibition, FDR said, "What America needs now is a drink."

14. Winston Churchill called the concept of Prohibition "an affront to the whole history of mankind."

15. George Washington insisted his continental army be permitted a quart of beer as part of their daily rations.

16. Oktoberfest originally started as a festival celebrating the 1810 marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig.

17. At spas in Europe, you can literally bathe in beer as a physical and mental therapeutic treatment.

18. In the 1990s, the Beer Lovers Party ran candidates in Belarus and Russia.

19. J.K. Rowling invented Quidditch in a pub.

20. Beer helped Joseph Priestley discover oxygen. He noticed gases rising from the big vats of beer at a brewery and asked to do some experiments.

21. A Buddhist temple in the Thai countryside was built with over 1 million recycled beer bottles.

22. The moon has a crater named Beer.

23. Beer soup was a common breakfast in medieval Europe.

24. At the start of Bavarian Beer Week in Germany, an open-air beer fountain dispenses free beer to the public.

25. In the 1980s, a beer-drinking goat was elected mayor of Lajitas, Texas.