11 Campaign Slogans For Fictional Politicians
The 2016 presidential election is less than 11 months away, meaning you've already been subjected to three years of campaigning (as well as the breathless media coverage to go along with said campaigning). Take a break from the real candidates—Lord knows you need it—with a sampling of some fictional politicking.
1. “CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE DO IT?”
In season 9 Simpsons episode "Trash of the Titans," Homer runs for Springfield Sanitation Commissioner with this slogan. His campaign is wholly built on the unfulfillable promise that his garbage men will pamper citizens with round-the-clock, five-star service (there's an accompanying song, as well). He wins because who wouldn't want that?
2. “IT'S A NEW DAY IN BALTIMORE!”
If HBO's The Wire teaches us anything, it's that institutions are built to resist change. When put in this context, Mayoral hopeful Tommy Carcetti's campaign slogan is a stinging bit of gallows humor—something he finds out soon after he's elected.
It's not quite as far-fetched as "Can’t Someone Else Do It?," but it isn't too far off, either.
3. “FOR A TIGHTER, TIDIER NATION”
This slogan comes from Johnny Gentle, the crooner-turned-president from David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. He is elected on a platform dedicated entirely to cleanliness.
4. “VOTE FOR LINDBERGH, OR VOTE FOR WAR”
Phillip Roth's The Plot Against America depicts an alternate history in which Nazi sympathizer Charles Lindbergh runs for president and defeats FDR, turning the U.S. into a paranoia-filled fascist state.
5. “IRISH SUCK! VOTE FOR DUKE”
When Duke Phillips, The Critic's megalomaniacal media mogul, runs for president, he is unaware that women and Irish people are allowed to vote.
6. "GRANT FOR THE PEOPLE"
This one comes from ABC's hit series Scandal. It doesn't matter if President Fitzgerald "Fitz" Grant's slogan is dull, he stole the election anyway.
7. “WE MUST MOVE FORWARD, NOT BACKWARD; UPWARD, NOT FORWARD; AND ALWAYS TWIRLING, TWIRLING, TWIRLING TOWARDS FREEDOM!"
Said by Kodos (an alien disguised as Bill Clinton) in The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror VII." Despite that A+ slogan, fellow alien (and Bob Dole body-snatcher) Kang wins. Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
8. “BARTLET FOR AMERICA”
Normally, this three-word slogan for The West Wing's President Bartlet could be seen as lacking. But considering it comes from Aaron Sorkin, it should be celebrated as an astonishingly rare and inspiring display of brevity.
9. "AMERICA, JESUS, FREEDOM"
In The Campaign, Will Farrell's Cam Brady originally uses "Taking Care of Business" for his Senate run. When the race heats up, he switches to these three big guns.
10. "BRING YOUR BROOMS, 'CAUSE IT'S A MESS"
Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) runs with this folksy slogan against Brady in The Campaign.
11. “'WE ARE THE PEOPLE”
Senator Charles Palantine from Taxi Driver uses this for his presidential run, which is nearly derailed by Travis Bickle's assassination attempt. (Bickle shoots up a brothel instead—1970s New York was 50 percent brothels, 35 percent political rallies, and 15 percent graffiti-covered subway cars.)