The First Lines of 63 Simpsons Characters

simpsonscity.com
simpsonscity.com

For almost three decades, Springfield's residents have become vibrant characters in their own right. Let's take a look at where their stories all started, in their own words. (Note: These first lines are all from the series only—Tracey Ullman shorts or commercials don't count.)

1. Marge Simpson

"Ooh, careful, Homer."

This is the first sentence uttered in Simpsons history, from the series premiere "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire."

2. Homer Simpson

"There's no time to be careful. We're late."

Homer's first line, in response to Marge's plea to drive safely.

3. Seymour Skinner

"Wasn't that wonderful? And now, the Santas of many lands, as presented by the entire second grade class."

Principal Skinner emceeing the Springfield Elementary holiday pageant.

4. Bart Simpson

"Jingle Bells/Batman Smells/Robin Laid an Egg/The Batmobile Broke Its Wheel/The Joker Got Away..."

We're introduced to Bart with his interpretation of "Jingle Bells."

5. Lisa Simpson

"But I really want a pony and I have been really really good this year."

Lisa eventually got that pony, albeit for a brief period of time.

6. Patty Bouvier

"Marge please."

On the phone, Patty had no interest in speaking with Homer.

7. Ned Flanders

"Hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!"

We meet Ned right before he shows off his "too bright" Christmas display.

8. Waylon Smithers

"Attention all personnel. Please keep working during the following announcement."

Mr. Smithers, as dutiful as ever.

9. Charles Montgomery Burns

"Hello. I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the power plant without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing, Merry Christmas."

Mr. Burns, as gracious as ever.

10. Todd Flanders

"Hey, Mr. Simpson. You dropped your pork chop."

Inadvertently embarrassing Homer Simpson, just like his father.

11. Moe Szyslak

"What's the matter, Homer? Did someone leave a lump of coal in your stocking? You've been sitting there sucking on a beer all day long."

Moe, moments before uncharacteristically offering a candy cane.

12. Barney Gumble

"Drinks all around!"

Barney, even more uncharacteristically having money.

13. Selma Bouvier

"Thank you."

Said with feigned politeness in response to Homer's insincere statement that she looks well.

14. Milhouse Van Houten

"Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa."

Questioning Homer's Santa skills.

15. Abraham Simpson

"Oh, Brother."

Grampa Simpson, rolling his eyes at the "unadulterated pap" that is Happy Little Elves with Lisa.

16. Martin Prince Jr.

"Principal Skinner, one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property."

A big-time tattle for a big-time tattler's first line. From "Bart the Genius."

17. Edna Krabappel

"Now, I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success ... if any."

18. Otto Mann

"Sorry little dudes. Party Hardy equals tardy."

Otto, running late in "Homer's Odyssey."

19. Sherri (or Terri) Mackleberry.

"We're going to make you sing, Bart Simpson."

20. Terri (or Sherri) Mackleberry

"Yeah Bart Simpson, we're going to make you sing."

21. Clancy Wiggum

"Well, it's no secret this city is under siege by a graffiti vandal know as 'El Barto.' Police artists have a composite sketch of the culprit. If anyone has any information, please contact us immediately."

El Barto would forever remain out of his grasp.

22. Officer Eddie

"Evening, Moe."

Said moments before accepting a beer, but not pretzels, while on duty in "There's No Disgrace Like Home."

23. Officer Lou

"Good one, Moe. Listen, we're looking for a family of Peeping Toms who've been terrorizing the neighborhood."

That family was, of course, the Simpsons.

24. Nelson Muntz

"Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood spatters on me. Hey, wait a minute. You're right. You made me bleed my own blood."

Nelson was welcomed to the show with a punch to the face by Bart in "Bart the General."

25. Jasper Beardly

"Simpson, give me your newspaper!"

26. Ralph Wiggum

"Hey, what are you talking to her for? She's just gonna say something weird."

In "Moaning Lisa," before the show dumbed Ralph down considerably.

27. Krusty the Clown

"Kell 'em!"

Springfield's favorite clown, very upset at Bart and Homer in "The Telltale Head."

28. Reverend Timothy Lovejoy Jr.

"Look, now we've got them!"

Rev. Lovejoy was also angry at Bart and Homer in "The Telltale Head."

29. Jimbo Jones

"Hey, hot dog."

Said in an effort to break Bart's concentration on his skateboard.

30. Kearney Zzyzwicz

"Oh yeah? Well, do it again."

31. Dolph Starbeam

"Psst, coast is clear."

Dolph informs his fellow bullies (minus Nelson) that they can view Space Mutants 4 free of charge.

32. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

"Okay. Now don't you kids take anything. I'm watching you. I've got eyes on the back of my head. $4.52."

33. Helen Lovejoy

"Marge? Marge Simpson? You remember me, don't you? I'm Helen Lovejoy, the gossipy wife of the minister."

She ruins Marge's brunch date with Jacques (and provides plenty of character detail) in "Life on the Fast Lane."

34. Lenny Leonard

"Ain't you hungry, Homer?"

Lenny was concerned from the very beginning whenever Homer wasn't eating, first in "Life on the Fast Lane."

35. Carl Carlson

"Hey don't worry. Things are gonna pick up once the entertainment gets here."

Lenny's best friend was introduced in the very next episode, "Homer's Night Out"."

36. Agnes Skinner

"You certainly have done well for yourself, Spanky."

Mrs. Skinner was initially impressed with her son Seymour, getting her first speaking line in "The Crepes of Wrath."

37. "Sideshow" Bob Terwilliger

"Ow, my foot, you lousy stupid clumsy...hand over all of your money in a paper bag."

This was said in the guise of his boss, Krusty the Clown, during a failed attempt to frame him in "Krusty Gets Busted".

38. Kent Brockman

"Good evening again Springfield. Krusty the Clown, the beloved idol of countless tots, now nothing more than a common alleged criminal."

39. Mayor "Diamond" Joe Quimby

"I hereby declare this day to be 'Snow Day'—the funnest day in the history of Springfield."

From "Bart Gets An F."

40. Kang

"Greetings, earthlings. I am Kang. Do not be frightened. We mean you no harm."

A very cordial-seeming start for the murderous space alien in the original "Treehouse of Horror."

41. Kodos

"Come earthlings, eat. Grow large with food."

42. Maude Flanders

"Hello spongecake. I thought you boys might be hungry so I whipped up some club sandwiches."

Mrs. Flanders in "Dead Putting Society."

43. Rod Flanders

"When's Todd's solo, dad?"

The elder Flanders boy in "Bart the Daredevil."

44. Julius Murphy Hibbert II M.D.

"Mrs. Simpson, Bart tells me he injured himself training for a career in 'death defiance'?"

Dr. Hibbert introduced himself to the world with straightlaced concern for Bart in "Bart the Daredevil."

45. Scratchy

"Lemonade?"

Thanks to Marge, Scratchy's first word was a kind offer of a refreshing beverage to Itchy in "Itchy and Scratchy and Marge."

46. Itchy

"Please."

Itchy's response, from The Itchy and Scratchy Show's "Porch Pals."

47. Lionel Hutz

"Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz: Attorney at law. Here's my card—it turns into a sponge when you put it in water."

Lionel Hutz, classy from the very start in "Bart Gets Hit by a Car."

48. Dr. Nick Riviera

"Bad news! Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays. See that dark spot there? Whiplash."

49. Rainier Wolfcastle

"Captain, I have proof that he's head of an international drug cartel."

Wolfcastle—in character here as the action hero McBain—was always convinced that Senator Mendoza was up to no good throughout the running gag of the McBain movie clips, starting in "The Way We Was."

50. TROY MCCLURE

"Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard. But today, I'd like to talk to you about a pleasant tasting candy that actually cleans and straightens your teeth."

From "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment."

51. Hans Moleman

"'F,' 'L,' oh no I'm sorry, that's a 'C' isn't it?"

Poor Moleman flunking an eye exam at the DMV in "Principal Charming."

52. Groundskeeper Willie

"Save your strength, Lad. There's a whole field for you to resod left."

53. Professor Frink

"Why, it's a death ray, my good man. Behold."

Professor John Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr., failing to get grant money from Grampa in "Old Money."

54. Ms. Hoover

"He's bad, but he'll die. So I like it."

Ms. Hoover on Marge's painting of a naked Mr. Burns in "Brush With Greatness."

55. Snake

"All right. I get out at noon and I'm already invited to a party."

Recurring felon Snake, first seen on a prison phone talking to Otto in "The War of the Simpsons."

56. Comic Book Guy

"Tell you what. I'll show you something very special if you promise to put your grubby little hands behind your back and keep 'em there."

From "Three Men and a Comic Book."

57. Lunch Lady Doris

"This is a whole lot of nothing."

Lunch Lady Doris, along with Groundskeeper Willie and Bleeding Gums Murphy, judging Springfield Elementary's talent show in "Lisa's Pony."

58. Maggie Simpson

"Daddy."

Elizabeth Taylor voiced Maggie's famous first word, the result of a "lot of takes." It was the last line of the fourth season episode "Lisa's First Word."

59. Superintendent Gary Chalmers

"Hello, Seymour."

From "Whacking Day."

60. Cletus Spuckler

"Hey ma, look at that pointy-hairded little girl."

Moments earlier, Lisa first refers to him as a "slack-jawed yokel" in "Bart Gets An Elephant."

61. Disco Stu

"Hey, Disco Stu doesn't advertise."

Disco Stu started as a one-off joke, paying off the set-up of Homer running out of room on his jacket to write "Disco Stud" in season seven's Two Bad Neighbors."

62. Duffman

"ARE YOU READY TO GET DUFFED?"

Duffman ruined Barney's night of designated driving in "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson."

63. Gil Gunderson

"Marge, it's a real pleasure. You got any leads? I need some leads. Please, help me."

Sad sack Gil was introduced to Marge by Lionel Hutz as a 42-year veteran of the real estate business, not that his experience was helping, in season nine's "Realty Bites."

10 of the Most Popular Portable Bluetooth Speakers on Amazon

Altech/Bose/JBL/Amazon
Altech/Bose/JBL/Amazon

As convenient as smartphones and tablets are, they don’t necessarily offer the best sound quality. But a well-built portable speaker can fill that need. And whether you’re looking for a speaker to use in the shower or a device to take on a long camping trip, these bestselling models from Amazon have you covered.

1. OontZ Angle 3 Bluetooth Portable Speaker; $26-$30 (4.4 stars)

Oontz portable bluetooth speaker
Cambridge Soundworks/Amazon

Of the 57,000-plus reviews that users have left for this speaker on Amazon, 72 percent of them are five stars. So it should come as no surprise that this is currently the best-selling portable Bluetooth speaker on the site. It comes in eight different colors and can play for up to 14 hours straight after a full charge. Plus, it’s splash proof, making it a perfect speaker for the shower, beach, or pool.

Buy it: Amazon

2. JBL Charge 3 Waterproof Portable Bluetooth Speaker; $110 (4.6 stars)

JBL portable bluetooth speaker
JBL/Amazon

This nifty speaker can connect with up to three devices at one time, so you and your friends can take turns sharing your favorite music. Its built-in battery can play music for up to 20 hours, and it can even charge smartphones and tablets via USB.

Buy it: Amazon

3. Anker Soundcore Bluetooth Speaker; $25-$28 (4.6 stars)

Anker portable bluetooth speaker
Anker/Amazon

This speaker boasts 24-hour battery life and a strong Bluetooth connection within a 66-foot radius. It also comes with a built-in microphone so you can easily take calls over speakerphone.

Buy it: Amazon

4. Bose SoundLink Color Bluetooth Speaker; $129 (4.4 stars)

Bose portable bluetooth speaker
Bose/Amazon

Bose is well-known for building user-friendly products that offer excellent sound quality. This portable speaker lets you connect to the Bose app, which makes it easier to switch between devices and personalize your settings. It’s also water-resistant, making it durable enough to handle a day at the pool or beach.

Buy it: Amazon

5. DOSS Soundbox Touch Portable Wireless Bluetooth Speaker; $28-$33 (4.4 stars)

DOSS portable bluetooth speaker
DOSS/Amazon

This portable speaker features an elegant system of touch controls that lets you easily switch between three methods of playing audio—Bluetooth, Micro SD, or auxiliary input. It can play for up to 20 hours after a full charge.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Altec Lansing Mini Wireless Bluetooth Speaker; $15-$20 (4.3 stars)

Altec Lansing portable bluetooth speaker
Altec Lansing/Amazon

This lightweight speaker is built for the outdoors. With its certified IP67 rating—meaning that it’s fully waterproof, shockproof, and dust proof—it’s durable enough to withstand harsh environments. Plus, it comes with a carabiner that can attach to a backpack or belt loop.

Buy it: Amazon

7. Tribit XSound Go Bluetooth Speaker; $33-$38 (4.6 stars)

Tribit portable bluetooth speaker
Tribit/Amazon

Tribit’s portable Bluetooth speaker weighs less than a pound and is fully waterproof and resistant to scratches and drops. It also comes with a tear-resistant strap for easy transportation, and the rechargeable battery can handle up to 24 hours of continuous use after a full charge. In 2020, it was Wirecutter's pick as the best budget portable Bluetooth speaker on the market.

Buy it: Amazon

8. VicTsing SoundHot C6 Portable Bluetooth Speaker; $18 (4.3 stars)

VicTsing portable bluetooth speaker
VicTsing/Amazon

The SoundHot portable Bluetooth speaker is designed for convenience wherever you go. It comes with a detachable suction cup and a carabiner so you can keep it secure while you’re showering, kayaking, or hiking, to name just a few.

Buy it: Amazon

9. AOMAIS Sport II Portable Wireless Bluetooth Speaker; $30 (4.4 stars)

AOMAIS portable bluetooth speaker
AOMAIS/Amazon

This portable speaker is certified to handle deep waters and harsh weather, making it perfect for your next big adventure. It can play for up to 15 hours on a full charge and offers a stable Bluetooth connection within a 100-foot radius.

Buy it: Amazon

10. XLEADER SoundAngel Touch Bluetooth Speaker; $19-$23 (4.4 stars)

XLeader portable bluetooth speaker
XLEADER/Amazon

This stylish device is available in black, silver, gold, and rose gold. Plus, it’s equipped with Bluetooth 5.0, a more powerful technology that can pair with devices up to 800 feet away. The SoundAngel speaker itself isn’t water-resistant, but it comes with a waterproof case for protection in less-than-ideal conditions.

Buy it: Amazon

This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Mental Floss may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

The Empire Strikes Back Topped the Weekend Box Office—40 Years After Its Original Release

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker go head-to-head in The Empire Strikes Back (1980).
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker go head-to-head in The Empire Strikes Back (1980).
Lucasfilm/20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

The Empire Strikes Back is clearly a classic for a reason. A full 40 years after its initial release in 1980, the second film in the original Star Wars sequel is once again dominating the weekend box office. As Deadline reports, the 1980 hit took in an estimated $175,000 at 483 drive-in theater locations nationwide this past weekend—with the gross sales only projected to skyrocket from there. The site reports that the beloved space opera would likely end the weekend with ticket sales landing between $400,000 and $500,000.

Due to safety concerns surrounding COVID-19, movie theaters across the country remain closed, which is giving new life to drive-in theaters. The decision to re-release The Empire Strikes Back was a pretty major one, too; this weekend marked the first time the film was back in theaters since its February 1997 re-release.

According to Box Office Mojo, The Empire Strikes Back held the number one spot at the domestic box office for eight weeks following its May 21, 1980 release. The film then raked in another $67.6 million when the 1997 edition arrived.

But The Empire Strikes Back wasn't Disney's only success this weekend. The company held the top three box office spots with Marvel’s Black Panther and Pixar’s Inside Out coming in at number two and three, respectively.

[h/t Deadline]