Though they often toil in retail settings next to candy bars and magazine racks, pharmacists are fully accredited medical professionals who process, check, and consult on the roughly 4.3 billion prescriptions physicians write every year.
To find out more about life behind the apothecary counter, mental_floss spoke with a few of the men and women in the nifty white smocks about frustrating quotas, illegible handwriting, and why you might see a little mayonnaise smeared on your pill bottle.
1. THEY STOP DOCTORS FROM KILLING YOU.
Jason—he prefers not to reveal his last name—has been a retail pharmacist in the Midwest for more than 20 years. When he hears complaints about slow service from patients who think of the chain stores as glorified drive-throughs for prescriptions, he sighs.
“It’s not just putting pills in a bottle,” he says. “With a prescription, there’s a good likelihood of there being wrong information. We catch interactions that could kill you.” On an average day, Jason might see 200 orders. He estimates 10 to 15 percent contain errors in quantity, instructions, or dosing that need to be corrected by phoning the physician.
2. THEY USUALLY HAVE ABOUT 15 MINUTES TO ACCOMPLISH THAT.
Owing to the volume of prescriptions processed by major chains like CVS and Walgreens, the one or two staff pharmacists on the clock have precious little time to spare. While pharmacy technicians can count pills and perform other tasks, only the pharmacist can double-check a medication is accurate before it’s turned over. “We have a time limit,” says Aaron, a retail pharmacist in Texas. “Reports get printed out at the end of the week and we get reprimanded for not meeting metrics. People ask if there’s anything they need to know about their medication. Yes, lots, but I only have a few seconds to give you the highlights.”
3. DECIPHERING A DOCTOR’S HANDWRITING IS LIKE CRACKING A CODE.
One course not taught in pharmacy school: how to decipher the frenzied scribbling of your neighborhood physician. “You’re expected to learn it on the job,” Jason says. “You learn traits. Some doctors don’t learn any Roman numeral besides ‘I,’ so 11 of them means '11.' It’s like a puzzle.” Sometimes Jason will phone the doctor’s office to crack the secret of a handwriting habit. “The funny thing is, you can move 10 minutes away to another side of town and have to learn a whole new set of patterns.”
4. THEY OFTEN DON’T GET A LUNCH BREAK.
After graduating pharmacy school, Megan spent a little over a year at a retail pharmacy counter. “It was pretty much the worst year of my life,” she says, citing the fast-food pace of the job as a deterrent to continuing. How fast? Orders typically come in so quickly that pharmacists don’t take a lunch break. They have to eat portable meals or snacks while standing. “You don’t really get any breaks unless you take it upon yourself. Labor laws don’t apply. Employers aren’t saying we can’t, but when you’re in the weeds, it’s hard to make it actually happen.”
5. THEY HAVE FLU SHOT QUOTAS.
While it’s no secret pharmacies love to promote flu shots, the even harder sell is happening behind the scenes. “When [chains] found out they could get reimbursed by Medicare and make $15 a shot, it went from, ‘Let’s offer it,’ to becoming mandatory," Jason says. "Baby on the way? Get a flu shot. On the subway a lot? Get a flu shot.” Pharmacists who fall below parity risk having a percentage of their annual bonus taken away.
6. THEY WISH YOU’D STOP HANDING THEM DIRTY PRESCRIPTIONS.
Like sweaty money coming from a sock, prescriptions of vague origin can be repulsive to the person who has to handle them. “People hand you paper that looks like it’s been through a garbage disposal and act like it’s no problem,” Megan says. As a courtesy, try to avoid spilling food, water, or blood on your prescription. (She’s seen them all.)
7. THEY HATE ELECTRONIC PRESCRIPTIONS.
According to Jason, they don’t reduce errors—they just make them more legible. “There are over 200 systems in my state alone,” he says. With no continuity, “There’s a real disconnect.” Doctors don’t always understand the drop-down menu—advising patients to take a cream “one tablet daily,” for example—and patients think their medication will be ready in seconds. It won’t. “Imagine 100 people in your office sending you an email at once, then coming in and asking, ‘Did you read it yet?’”
8. DEFINITELY READ THE PAMPHLET. (JUST DON’T LET IT SCARE YOU.)
Many consumers have adopted a management system for the drug information document that typically gets stapled to every prescription bag: They toss it in the garbage. This is not wise. “I stress for patients to read it,” Aaron says, citing time constraints at the pharmacy. But he also cautions not to let the list of possible side effects scare you. “The side effects aren’t listed by how often they occurred in a clinical trial. 1 percent is different from 10 percent. You might see ‘psychosis’ and not know it happened in point-five percent of patients.”
9. THEY SOMETIMES DROP PILLS ON THE FLOOR. THEN YOU EAT THEM.
“It’s not supposed to happen,” Megan says. “The counting trays have a lip, but stuff still falls on the floor. Then it’s considered an adulterated drug and people aren’t supposed to put it back in the bottle, but it happens anyway.”
10. THEY KEEP NOTES ON YOUR BEHAVIOR.
Most pharmacy software has a prompt that lets pharmacists and technicians make a note when a customer is behaving oddly or is otherwise circumspect. “Some people have the same issue every month,” Aaron says. “They get a narcotic and insist we miscounted and gave them 10 fewer pills than prescribed, even if it was a sealed bottle.” Push your luck—one man got so irate having to wait at a drive-through he began filming on his phone, which is a privacy violation—and you can find yourself banned.
11. YOU’LL BE SEEING MORE OF THEM IN HOSPITALS.
Megan left retail to become a hospital pharmacist. “The last year of pharmacy school, you’re rounding with a medical team at a hospital,” she says. “To have all that knowledge in the wheelhouse and go to a fast-food type environment, I didn’t like it. I want to use those clinical skills. We go into a room and visit with a patient and can manage drug regimens."
12. THEY TECHNICALLY DON’T NEED A PRESCRIPTION TO HELP YOU.
Not on an official prescription pad, anyway. “A pad is just a guide, with space for names and birth dates,” Jason says. “A doctor can technically write something down on a napkin and we have to honor it.” They will, however, still call the office to verify.
If you have a Flexible Spending Account (FSA), chances are, time is running out for you to use that cash. Depending on your employer’s rules, if you don’t spend your FSA money by the end of the grace period, you potentially lose some of it. Lost cash is never a good thing.
For those unfamiliar, an FSA is an employer-sponsored spending account. You deposit pre-tax dollars into the account, and you can spend that money on a number of health care expenses. It’s kind of like a Health Savings Account (HSA), but with a few big differences—namely, your HSA funds roll over from year to year, so there’s no deadline to spend it all. With an FSA, though, most of your funds expire at the end of the year. Bummer.
The good news is: The law allows employers to roll $500 over into the new year and also offer a grace period of up to two and a half months to use that cash (March 15). Depending on your employer, you might not even have that long, though. The deadline is fast approaching for many account holders, so if you have to use your FSA money soon, here are a handful of creative ways to spend it.
1. Buy some new shades.
Head to the optometrist, get an eye prescription, then use your FSA funds to buy some new specs or shades. Contact lenses and solution are also covered.
You can also buy reading glasses with your FSA money, and you don’t even need a prescription.
2. Try acupuncture.
Scientists are divided on the efficacy of acupuncture, but some studies show it’s useful for treating chronic pain, arthritis, and even depression. If you’ve been curious about the treatment, now's a good time to try it: Your FSA money will cover acupuncture sessions in some cases. You can even buy an acupressure mat without a prescription.
If you’d rather go to a chiropractor, your FSA funds cover those visits, too.
3. Stock up on staples.
If you’re running low on standard over-the-counter meds, good news: Most of them are FSA-eligible. This includes headache medicine, pain relievers, antacids, heartburn meds, and anything else your heart (or other parts of your body) desires.
There’s one big caveat, though: Most of these require a prescription in order to be eligible, so you may have to make an appointment with your doctor first. The FSA store tells you which over-the-counter items require a prescription.
In some cases, foot massagers or circulators may be covered, too. For example, here’s one that’s available via the FSA store, no prescription necessary.
5. Get clear skin.
Yep—acne treatments, toner, and other skin care products are all eligible for FSA spending. Again, most of these require a prescription for reimbursement, but don’t let that deter you. Your doctor is familiar with the rules and you shouldn’t have trouble getting a prescription. And, as WageWorks points out, your prescription also lasts for a year. Check the rules of your FSA plan to see if you need a separate prescription for each item, or if you can include multiple products or drug categories on a single prescription.
While we’re on the topic of faces, lip balm is another great way to spend your FSA funds—and you don’t need a prescription for that. There’s also no prescription necessary for this vibrating face massager.
6. Fill your medicine cabinet.
If your medicine cabinet is getting bare, or you don’t have one to begin with, stock it with a handful of FSA-eligible items. Here are some items that don’t require a prescription:
Compression socks for long flights (just make sure they’re rated 30-40 mmHg or above)
9. Get a better night’s sleep.
If you have trouble sleeping, sleep aids are eligible, though you’ll need a prescription. If you want to try a sleep mask, many of them are eligible without a prescription. For example, there’s this relaxing sleep mask and this thermal eye mask.
For those nights you’re sleeping off a cold or flu, a vaporizer can make a big difference, and those are eligible, too (no prescription required). Bed warmers like this one are often covered, too.
Your FSA funds likely cover more than you realize, so if you have to use them up by the deadline, get creative. This list should help you get started, and many drugstores will tell you which items are FSA-eligible when you shop online.
10. Go to the dentist.
While basics like toothpaste and cosmetic procedures like whitening treatments aren’t FSA eligible, most of the expenses you incur at your dentist’s office are. That includes co-pays and deductibles as well as fees for cleanings, x-rays, fillings, and even the cost of braces. There are also some products you can buy over-the-counter without ever visiting the dentist. Some mouthguards that prevent you from grinding your teeth at night are eligible, as are cleaning solutions for retainers and dentures.
11. Try some new gadgets.
If you still have some extra cash to burn, it’s a great time to try some expensive high-tech devices that you’ve been curious about but might not otherwise want to splurge on. The list includes light therapy treatments for acne, vibrating nausea relief bands, electrical stimulation devices for chronic pain, cloud-connected stethoscopes, and smart thermometers.
Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers and may receive a small percentage of any sale. But we choose all products independently and only get commission on items you buy and don't return, so we're only happy if you're happy. Thanks for helping us pay the bills!
Behind every club banger and power ballad is an eclectic team of individuals, each with their own role in its creation and promotion. Needless to say, it couldn’t happen without the songwriters. These gifted musicians don’t just pen the lyrics that fuel all your car concerts and karaoke nights—they also manage egos, help artists articulate their innermost feelings, and juggle their own side gigs. So what does a songwriting career actually look like? Mental Floss chatted with three experienced songwriters about everything from how they make money to how they make hits.
1. It’s common for songwriters to have their own music careers.
From Carole King to Pharrell Williams, the music industry has long teemed with talented artists who’ve written songs for other acts—so it’s not exactly surprising that so many songwriters are nurturing what they call their own “artist projects.” In fact, all three songwriters interviewed for this article have released new music in the last few months. Daniel Capellaro released the EP Nightside [A] in November under the moniker “Dvniel”; Skyler Stonestreet’s first single as “The Sunshine State” dropped in late October; and Trent Park has been unveiling a steady stream of singles and corresponding music videos since June.
Though it seems like it could be difficult to constantly fork over songs that they might want to release themselves, the collaborative nature of the business prevents this from being a major issue. Often, the songwriter is working off ideas and emotions specific to the artist they’re writing for, so the song truly feels like it belongs to that artist. Other times, the song gets tweaked by so many writers and producers that it’s no longer the original songwriter’s personal opus. “When a song comes out, sometimes I’m like, ‘Ah that was good, but I would’ve done it a totally different way,” Park says. “But that means it wouldn’t be the song that it is.”
2. Songwriters sometimes have to fake it ’til they make it.
In a business built on relationships, it’s pivotal for up-and-coming songwriters to always be on the lookout for new connections. Sometimes, this means acting first and thinking later. During Capellaro’s early days in Los Angeles, his demo CD was his de facto business card. About a month after giving one to an executive from Universal Music Group, he got a call from the company asking when he was playing next. Having no dates lined up, he picked one at random: March 16. “So I hang up and I'm like, ‘OK, I’ve just committed to playing a show. I've got no venue. I've got no band. I have to get all this put together in the next 30 days,” Capellaro remembers.
He found a former bass player from the band Lifehouse on Craigslist, and the two set about securing the rest of the band. For the venue, Capellaro chose a well-known rehearsal space called SIR (Studio Instrument Rentals), only to find out that the Universal exec slated to see the show “[had] never signed a single act at SIR—she hates that place.” It was too late to switch venues, so Capellaro reassured his Universal contact over the phone that “she won’t recognize it” and immediately transported everything in his recently furnished living room to the stage to give it a whole new look. “I had a couch, a rug, tea candles,” he says. “I wanted it to feel like MTV Unplugged.” The hard-to-please executive was duly impressed. “She’s like ‘You sound great. How long have you guys been playing together?’ and I’m like, ‘Ah, you know, for a while.’ I didn’t want to tell her ‘Four days.’”
When asked what surprised him most about the industry, Park answered without hesitation: “That nobody knows what they’re doing.” He, too, confessed to occasional fibbery. “There are some times when I reach out to an artist and I say, ‘I love your stuff. I have a song for you,'” he says. “I’m completely lying. I just want to work with that person, and once they reach out I end up formulating songs in the vein of their stuff.”
3. Songwriters don’t just write for career music artists.
Songwriters like Capellaro and Stonestreet, who are signed to music publishing companies, mainly do work on songs for fellow artists. Park, on the other hand, is an independent songwriter—so his clients sometimes come from other industries altogether. “Right now I'm writing for a couple lawyers that are just doing it as a passion, but they pay me really well,” he says. “I’m there for everyone. Honestly, it’s way better money.” Park also spent a few weeks writing songs for the wife of a billionaire app developer. Not only did she pay him triple his per-song rate and triple his per-diem rate, she also insisted on posting him up in a luxury hotel and giving him an additional $500 each day for food and other expenses. “That was a really cool [scenario],” Park says, “I’m hoping for more of those.”
4. There are countless ways to create a song—and countless people involved.
Songwriting isn’t exactly a linear process. “You can start from any place,” Capellaro says. “You can start with someone toe-tapping, or have a piano pulled up and just start playing a C chord over and over again.” Often, the record label has already started for you—they’ll send an instrumental track to multiple songwriters, who each adds their own lyrics and melody. Then, the label simply chooses their favorite.
Other songs originate in songwriting camps. Basically, a record label will gather various songwriters in a house, split them into small groups, and “see if magic happens,” Stonestreet says. During a camp meant to generate hits for Dua Lipa a few years ago, it did: Stonestreet and several other writers penned her 2018 single “IDGAF.”
But even after a track has lyrics and a melody, there’s always a chance it’ll undergo another round of edits. Maybe a label liked a certain producer’s work on another song, so they ask them to tweak this one; or they bring in a new writer to fine-tune a few words or add a post-chorus. Big artists also sometimes have personal collaborators that they want credited on the song, whether or not they actually helped create it. “That’s why when you look at a Katy Perry song, you’re like ‘How did 14 people write this one song that has the most juvenile lyrics I’ve ever heard in my life?’ They didn’t—it’s all politics,” Capellaro says.
5. Songwriters don’t make much from music streaming services like Spotify.
Music streaming services like Spotify and Apple Music are notorious for pocketing most of the earnings from artists’ work. Spotify, for example, pays the rights holder as little as $0.006 for each stream—and that paltry sum must then be split among all the people involved in making the song. Songwriters, producers, musicians, managers, label executives, and any number of other people could each be entitled to a certain percentage of the profits. “I have over a million streams on one catalog, and that translated to $785,” Capellaro says. “If I sold a million copies, I would’ve had a house up in [Beverly Hills].” Not only are the rates low, but artists also have to somehow make their songs stand out from the tens of thousands of other new songs released each week, which Capellaro admits is “virtually impossible.”
6. Songwriters often juggle other jobs.
Since songwriters can’t rely on streaming dividends for income—and salaried music publishing positions don’t always come easy—they often make ends meet with a variety of side gigs. Park realized early in his career that while songwriters were mainly earning money from royalties, producers were often paid an hourly rate or up-front lump sum. “So I learned how to produce,” he says. Then, he purchased a mic and other equipment so he could record vocals at home—like hooks for people’s rap or EDM songs. “Basically, I’m an a la carte thing,” he explained. Park eventually branched out into music video production, and he’s now directed videos for chart-topping artists like G-Eazy and Ty Dolla $ign. He also served as a music technical consultant for 2020’s The High Note, starring Tracee Ellis Ross and Dakota Johnson; in that position, he made sure the dialogue, instruments, and other music-related details matched real life.
Even when a songwriter appears to be working a job entirely unrelated to the music industry, there could be a shrewd reason for doing so. Capellaro spent more than a decade running a restaurant called Amici in Brentwood, California. “I knew I wanted to be there because that’s where the celebrities live,” he explains. Sure enough, he connected with people like J.J. Abrams, Laura Dern, and Bonnie Hunt, who was hosting her NBC talk show at the time. One evening while refilling Hunt’s water glass, Capellaro posed a question: “Hey Bonnie, what would it take to be on your show?” She asked if he had a CD on hand, which he did, and booked him as a musical guest within weeks. The day after the taping, Hunt dined at Amici again and lauded Capellaro for his performance. “I’m like, ‘This is so surreal. I was just on your show yesterday, and now I’m bringing you sea bass.” A producer who caught the performance later reached out to Capellaro and ended up inviting him to his studio for songwriting sessions—which yielded hits for Chris Brown and Boyz II Men.
It was also at Amici that Capellaro developed a friendship with Marc Caruso, a music engineer who happened to be the founder of a music publishing company called Angry Mob Music Group. About five years ago, Caruso, knowing Capellaro was itching to give up his restaurant job and focus on music full-time, offered him a music publishing deal; Capellaro’s been there ever since.
7. Songwriters have to form close bonds with artists in a few hours or less.
Because the goal is to create a song that feels personal to the artist, songwriters usually prefer to work directly with them whenever possible. And getting the artist to give them some seed of inspiration means forging a deep friendship with them within minutes of entering the studio.
“There’s so much trust that needs to happen in the room. You’re telling potentially intimate details about yourself that would be uncomfortable sharing [with a stranger]. So much of it is trying to create a safe place for the artist and a safe place for the writers, all the while dealing with egos the size of tall buildings,” Capellaro says. “It’s almost like a therapy session: What’s your mood today? What happened over the weekend? What’re you pissed off about? What’re you inspired by at this very moment? Because it can change at 5 p.m. today, and maybe that inspires the song.”
Stonestreet expressed a similar sentiment. “I honestly love when the artist is involved. You won’t know anything specific unless you’re sitting there having a conversation—it can be emotional. You form a relationship, and you trust each other to handle the information.”
8. Songwriters have to say “no” without actually saying “no.”
Songwriters have to find creative ways of steering a song in the right direction without flatly rejecting an artist’s not-so-great suggestion. Stonestreet might toss out a compliment and lean on the lackluster reaction of the room as evidence that they haven’t yet struck gold. Something to the effect of: “‘That’s cool, and I like it, but maybe it’s not jumping out, and it’s not making everyone jump around the room and [giving everyone] that feeling of ‘This is so exciting.’”
“I always say, ‘Let’s try it,’” Park says. “‘I don’t necessarily hear what you’re talking about, but let’s try it.’” Sometimes, hearing their idea come to life is enough to make the artist realize it isn’t a great fit. Park also occasionally asks the artist’s manager, significant other, or another trusted party to weigh in, hoping they’ll side with him. “But I am always honest. I’m like, ‘Yeah, I don’t think the idea works. If you like it, 100-percent do it. It’s not my vibe, but it’s your song.'”
And since the artist does have final say, the writers also need to know when to cut their losses. If the artist is hell-bent on certain subpar lyrics? “You’re going to go with whatever they’re going to like,” Capellaro says.
9. Songs sometimes get lost in the abyss.
Earlier this year, Stonestreet wrote Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber’s duet “Stuck with U,” which got released mere weeks later. “I just heard the demo of it last week, and it’s coming out Friday. I don’t understand what’s going on,” she thought at the time. “That was a freak thing. Usually you do have to wait a minute.” A minute could be a year—or never. “So many people have to say yes to the song for it to come out … All the label’s people, the artist’s team, your team.” Even after getting all those green lights, a single could still test poorly among advance radio reviewers and end up stalling indefinitely.
Sometimes, a record label neglects to send the finished product back to the songwriter. “I think some songs can go into a complete abyss where they just sit on a hard drive for years and years,” Stonestreet says.
10. Songwriters have mixed feelings about making music via Zoom.
Since songwriting often involves multiple people spending long hours in a small studio, the coronavirus pandemic threatened to upend the whole system. So songwriters went virtual. Some, like Park and Stonestreet, already had recording equipment at home; Capellaro, meanwhile, quickly invested in a mic, a monitor, cables, and all the other requisite gadgets. To shift the workflow online, they’ve had to more clearly define each person’s task for each song.
“I’m a vocalist, so I’m going to record vocals in my house, and I will send the stems to producer X, Y, or Z, have them tune them for me [and] put them into the rest of the track," Capellaro says. “I can have another guy master it, [and] we can always hop on a FaceTime or Zoom call to get it written and recorded.” This streamlined process has actually helped with productivity. “I have been writing more music since March than I was previously,” Capellaro says.
Making music via video chat tends to work better with fewer people, so Stonestreet has enjoyed the opportunity for more one-on-one sessions. When there are several people on the call, they cut down on confusion over who’s speaking (and singing) by thoroughly explaining each suggestion. “You really talk things through, which has been really nice,” she says. That said, the camaraderie born in the studio is hard to recreate on a computer screen, and songwriters are eager to experience that again. “I love Zoom, but I also really miss people in the room with me,” Stonestreet says.