The Professional Mourners of Arlington Cemetery

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Getty

The stranger couldn't help herself. Attending the funeral of an Iraq war veteran at Arlington National Cemetery in 2006, she leaned over and gently kissed the forehead of the fallen soldier's widow and mother.

For the woman who sensed palpable grief, it was a natural thing to do. But as an Arlington Lady, an official representative of four United States military arms dispatched to military funerals, it was a breach of policy. After the service, she was reprimanded by her supervisor. The Arlington Ladies have a very specific role. They are not there to grieve or console, but to make certain no soldier is ever buried alone.

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Hoyt Vandenberg, Chief of Staff for the United States Air Force, was driving to his office in the Pentagon in 1948 when he noticed a funeral being conducted at Virginia's Arlington National Cemetery. There was no sea of crisp uniforms or sobbing family members. Aside from the chaplain and the Honor Guard, there was no one there at all.

Vandenberg didn’t like it. Soldiers, he felt, deserved the presence of at least one civilian to bear witness to their burial. His wife, Gladys, agreed. She set about recruiting friends and wives of the enlisted to begin attending Air Force funerals, even though many of the deceased were complete strangers. They called themselves the Officers Wives Club and acted as both military representatives and as proxies for family members who might not be able to afford to travel to Arlington for services.

By 1973, the Army had formed its own version. In 1985, the Navy followed suit. And in 2006, the Coast Guard organized a group of their own. (The Marines send a Commandant representative to funerals.) Collectively, the roughly 150 women are known as the Arlington Ladies.

Participation is usually by invitation only, with the group largely made up of ex-military members or their spouses 40 years and older. If a woman is invited to join, she is first instructed to sit at funerals as an apprentice, observing the customs of the role depending on which branch of service she’s been assigned.

Naval Ladies are given a sheet that details the deceased’s biography, rank, service awards, and passing. They’re allowed to briefly introduce themselves to family prior to services; after the widow or other attendee is given the folded American flag, the Arlington representative approaches the bereaved to offer condolences and two cards—one from her, and one from the Chief of Staff. When they’re finished, they walk backwards; turning their back on the flag is prohibited.

Their duties don’t end there. If a family member is unable to attend, a Lady will write a letter offering details of the service—what was said, what the weather was like, and what she felt during the proceedings. They’ll also extend an opportunity to tend to the deceased’s grave by placing flowers on it on anniversaries or holidays.

If family members are present, the Lady is a welcome sight: although they have a dress code (no slacks or loud colors), they help ease the tension of a highly structured military funeral. If no members are present, then the Lady acts as a surrogate witness to a soldier being laid to rest.

The Ladies are expected to maintain their composure, however difficult it may be. The organization’s chair, Margaret Mensch, told The Washington Post in 2007 that she tries her best not to tear up, even when it’s a former Honor Guard escort of hers that was being buried. "You are still," she said. "You just don't cry. When I got there, I thought, 'Just concentrate on that leaf on that tree over there.' A military funeral is very dignified. Very precise. It may sound cold, but that's the beauty of it."

A mourner typically volunteers one day a month. With more than 30 funerals at Arlington a day, she might attend up to six during a single shift. Doreen Huylebroeck, whose late husband was a chief petty officer, has attended more than 500 since beginning work in 2009.

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Getting an Arlington Lady to discuss her duties on the record can be daunting. Most are averse to publicity, wary that someone might think of them as self-congratulatory. A portion of the Army's contingent, however, had to endure some recognition in 2015, when Army Chief of Staff General Ray Odierno held a reception to acknowledge the Ladies for their selfless service.

"There's no more important time than when a family is going through the incredible grief of loss … that they understand the Army is there for them and you all make that a little easier by what you do," he told the women. "By letting them know that we do care about them, so for me this is very important for us to have you here to thank you for helping our soldiers, past and present, as they continue to serve through difficult times."

The Ladies were cordial, but the session was brief. Seven funerals were still scheduled for that day.

Looking to Downsize? You Can Buy a 5-Room DIY Cabin on Amazon for Less Than $33,000

Five rooms of one's own.
Five rooms of one's own.
Allwood/Amazon

If you’ve already mastered DIY houses for birds and dogs, maybe it’s time you built one for yourself.

As Simplemost reports, there are a number of house kits that you can order on Amazon, and the Allwood Avalon Cabin Kit is one of the quaintest—and, at $32,990, most affordable—options. The 540-square-foot structure has enough space for a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a sitting room—and there’s an additional 218-square-foot loft with the potential to be the coziest reading nook of all time.

You can opt for three larger rooms if you're willing to skip the kitchen and bathroom.Allwood/Amazon

The construction process might not be a great idea for someone who’s never picked up a hammer, but you don’t need an architectural degree to tackle it. Step-by-step instructions and all materials are included, so it’s a little like a high-level IKEA project. According to the Amazon listing, it takes two adults about a week to complete. Since the Nordic wood walls are reinforced with steel rods, the house can withstand winds up to 120 mph, and you can pay an extra $1000 to upgrade from double-glass windows and doors to triple-glass for added fortification.

Sadly, the cool ceiling lamp is not included.Allwood/Amazon

Though everything you need for the shell of the house comes in the kit, you will need to purchase whatever goes inside it: toilet, shower, sink, stove, insulation, and all other furnishings. You can also customize the blueprint to fit your own plans for the space; maybe, for example, you’re going to use the house as a small event venue, and you’d rather have two or three large, airy rooms and no kitchen or bedroom.

Intrigued? Find out more here.

[h/t Simplemost]

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Florence’s Plague-Era Wine Windows Are Back in Business

A wine window in Florence's Via Santo Spirito.
A wine window in Florence's Via Santo Spirito.

Many bars and restaurants have started selling takeout cocktails and other alcoholic beverages to stay in business—and keep customers safe—during the coronavirus pandemic. Meanwhile, 17th-century Florentines are surely applauding from their front-row seats in the afterlife.

As Insider reports, a number of buildings in Florence had been constructed with small “wine windows,” or buchette del vino, through which vendors sold wine directly to less affluent customers. When the city suffered an outbreak of plague in the 1630s, business owners recognized the value of these windows as a way to serve people without spreading germs. They even exchanged money on a metal tray that was sanitized with vinegar.

Wine not?sailko, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY-SA 3.0

Things eventually went back to normal, and the windows slowly fell out of fashion altogether as commerce laws evolved. This year, however, they’ve made a comeback. According to Food & Wine, there are currently at least four in operation around Florence. Osteria delle Brache in Piazza Peruzzi is using its window to deliver wine and cocktails, for example, and the Vivoli ice cream shop, a go-to dessert spot since 1929, is handing out sweet scoops and coffee through its formerly dormant aperture.

Apart from the recent resurgence of interest, the wine windows often go unnoticed by tourists drawn to the grandeur of attractions like the Uffizi Gallery and the Florence Cathedral. So in 2015, locals Matteo Faglia, Diletta Corsini, and Mary Christine Forrest established the Wine Window Association to generate some buzz. In addition to researching the history of the windows, they also keep a running list of all the ones they know of. Florence has roughly 150, and there are another 100 or so in other parts of Tuscany.

They’re hoping to affix a plaque near each window to promote their stories and discourage people from defacing them. And if you want to support their work, you can even become a member of the organization for €25 (about $29).

[h/t Insider]