15 Forgotten Niceties We Should Bring Back

iStock
iStock

Daily life in the 21st century is a lot more casual than it was in our grandparents’ and great grandparents’ day. We’ve traded suits and ties for t-shirts and jeans, ornate calligraphy-inscribed invitations for casual emails, and hand-written letters for emoji-filled texts. But while some of the niceties of days past may feel outdated and unnecessary, others might just be worth bringing back. 

1. HAT TIPPING

Nowadays, we greet each other with a quick hello, or if we’re feeling particularly formal, a handshake. But the seemingly outdated tip of the hat—which originated as a way for knights to display friendliness—is a fun, formal way to show respect. Plus, if you’re feeling a cold coming on, a quick tip of the hat in lieu of a handshake is a good way to avoid spreading germs.

2. WAITING TO SPEAK

When we’re excited about a conversation topic, or feel like we have something important to add, it’s easy to get carried away and interrupt the person who’s speaking. But back in 1918, one etiquette guide warned, “Interruption of the speech of others is a great sin against good breeding.” Today, interruptions aren’t an unforgivable social faux pas—and to some degree, they’re considered a normal part of lively conversation. But it’s a good idea to do your best to wait your turn to speak, since interrupting can give the impression you’re not listening closely, and may even be interpreted as a sign of disrespect.

3. SOCIAL CALLS

Feeling overwhelmed by your social obligations? Back in the Victorian era, people had a pretty great solution: social calls. Between 3 and 5 p.m., women would schedule “morning calls,” allowing friends (and often suitors) to drop in for a chat. Much like a professor’s office hours today, these social calls would let people casually stop by at their convenience and allow women to relax at home between engagements. Of course, the gender dynamics of social calls could use a little 21st century updating, but imagine how easy it would be if, instead of rushing from place to place, you encouraged friends to drop by during set hours?

4. GREETING THE HOST OR HOSTESS

“On entering a crowded room, a well-mannered man seeks first the hostess,” suggests an advice book from 1869, “He endeavors to be blind and deaf to all familiar faces and voices until he has presented himself to the lady of the house—he then bows.” Nowadays, you might skip the bow—unless you’re feeling fancy—but you can still express your gratitude for the invite by greeting your host or hostess at the start of a party and making it a point to thank them for their hospitality.

5. FLOWERS AT THE DINNER TABLE

In 1891, an upscale New York City restaurant published an advice column on how to properly set a table for a dinner gathering. While much of their advice was presented as general guidelines, not strict rules, they were adamant about one thing: “Flowers should never be absent from the dinner table.” Their advice makes sense—after all, flowers are a cheap and easy way to spruce up your table for a dinner party. Or, as the restaurant explained, “No matter how homely, they add to the picturesqueness of the feast.”

6. SENDING AN RSVP

In the era of social media invites, the RSVP has fallen out of style for everything but the most formal occasions. But one 1915 etiquette book shares a piece of good advice: “All invitations that are plainly limited to a certain number of guests ... should be answered at once, in order that vacancies may be filled,” the book explains. “Whether the invitation is accompanied with the request for a reply or not, all thoughtful people will recognize the propriety.” While there’s no need to RSVP for a large or informal party, any smaller occasion like a dinner or intimate gathering—even if the invite is delivered online—deserves an RSVP.

7. HANDWRITTEN THANK-YOU CARDS …

Show your gratitude for anything from a birthday party to a job interview with a handwritten note. Sending a card via snail mail might feel old fashioned, but it’s a gesture that won’t soon be forgotten. Unlike a text or email, the classic thank-you card is unlikely to be buried by other messages—plus, it’s an easy way to show how much of an impression someone’s act of kindness made on you.

8. … AND LETTERS, IN GENERAL

Though we have other means of communication, a letter, written by hand, remains an excellent way to let someone know you’re thinking of them. One 1904 book on the etiquette of correspondence recommends writing in black ink on paper in “shades of pale lavender, green, blue, buff, and pearl gray.”

9. SPEAKING CLEARLY ON THE PHONE

In the cell phone era, we’re just as likely to make an important phone call on a noisy public street as we are from the quiet solitude of a home or office. But we really should pay a little more attention to what the person on the other end of the line might be hearing. In the past, when telephone reception was a little fuzzier, phone companies and advice books recommended everything from keeping the phone exactly one and a half inches from your face, to making sure to move your mustache hairs away from the phone receiver while speaking. While neither of those recommendations are likely to help much today, the sentiment of the advice still applies: Make sure you’re speaking clearly when you talk on the phone, and do your best to call from a quiet location to ensure your voice is heard.

10. PUNCTUALITY

When it comes to attending a dinner party, there’s no such thing as “fashionably late.” As one old etiquette book explains, “It is proper to arrive from five to fifteen minutes before the hour mentioned in the invitation, allowing time to pay respects to the host and hostess, without haste of manner, before the dinner is announced.” Take a note from 1915 and arrive at dinners a little bit early to keep everything moving at a leisurely pace.

11. CLASSY CONVERSATION

“It is said that one can tell during a conversation that lasts not longer than a summer shower whether or not a man is cultivated,” explains one 1921 book of etiquette. “Often it does not take even so long, for a raucous tone of voice and grossly ungrammatical or vulgar expressions brand a man at once as beyond the pale of polite society.” While you probably won’t offend anyone with a grammatical slip-up these days, it’s still a good idea to keep conversations free of bad language or an overly raucous tone—especially if you’re in a professional setting.

12. TIPPING HOTEL EMPLOYEES

While it’s common practice to tip the porter who carries your bag, or the employee who cleans your room, one 1921 etiquette guide recommends tipping anyone who assists you during your stay at a hotel. After all, it makes sense to show gratitude for good service wherever it occurs. “At a hotel … remember the hall-boy, the chamber-maid, the porter, and the waiter in the dining room,” the book recommends, concluding that hotel visitors should tip those who “serve [them] in any way.”

13. BOWING TO PARENTS

Bringing back bowing as a formal greeting would undoubtedly help us all feel like sophisticated ladies and gentlemen. And encouraging little kids to bow to their parents just sounds plain adorable. That’s exactly what one 1856 children’s etiquette book recommended, telling their young readers, “If you pass by your parents at any place, where you see them, either by themselves or with company, always bow to them.”

14. OFFERING GUESTS A BATH

While we’ve focused primarily on the forgotten niceties of the 19th and early 20th centuries, this one comes to us across the millennia: In Ancient Greece it was considered rude not to offer guests a bath and clean clothes as soon as they arrived for a visit. Today, that rule makes little sense for a friend who’s just come to visit from down the street, but it’s a nice custom for friends or family visiting from afar.

15. GIFT-GIVING

Nowadays, we usually only give gifts on birthdays and holidays—but back in the day, gift-giving was much more common. One 1921 book of etiquette recommended sending a small gift after any party or gathering hosted at someone’s home. “After the visit the guest may send some little gift in appreciation of the hospitality enjoyed,” the book explains. “A bit of household linen, a book, flowers, or candy are most appropriate.”

11 Products You Need for Your Next Zoom Meeting

Amazon
Amazon

There are a lot of pros to Zoom meetings: You can wear pajama pants, you can mute yourself so no one hears your music in the background, and you can even turn your video off if you’re having a bad hair day. But there are also a lot of headaches. Whether your laptop video camera only works half the time or your microphone cuts out with every other word you say, the Zoom struggle is real.

To make your WFH life easier—or to help you get by in a socially distant office—we’ve curated a list of products that will make your Zoom experiences a little more enjoyable. Zooms may not always be as easy as in-person meetings, but at least you’ll be able to (momentarily) forget that you’re not sitting in the same room as all of your favorite coworkers.

1. Logitech C270 Webcam; $53

Logitech

This budget-friendly webcam from Logitech is perfect for a simple camera that still gets the job done. The Logitech C270 is designed for high-definition video that, at 30 frames per second, has the ability to self-adjust to its lighting conditions, making nearly any room suitable for a Zoom call. The camera also has a noise-reducing mic that will allow your coworkers to hear you even if your background is on the noisy side (You: 1. Barking dog: 0).

Buy it: Amazon

2. Logitech Pro Webcam; $149

Logitech

If you’re doing nothing but Zoom meetings these days, you might want to try the Logitech C920 Pro. The model offers a 78-degree field of view and a 1080p HD picture that will ensure your image is crystal clear and wide enough to allow your unruly cat to make an appearance without interrupting too much. The Logitech C920 also sports two mics—one on each side—and has a frame rate of 60fps, making it an ideal choice for live video.

Buy it: Amazon

3. Saicoo LED Desktop Lamp; $90

Saicoo/Amazon

If you want to look your best during your Zoom calls—even if you’ve just rolled out of bed—you’re going to want some good lighting. This Saicco LED lamp has a touch-sensitive panel that allows you to easily control color temperature and brightness. It’s also built with a special light reflection feature to reduce eye fatigue. The Saicco lamp even has a built-in charging port, so you’ll be able to hop off your Zoom and onto a conference call without ever needing to check your phone battery.

Buy it: Amazon

4. Ubeesize Ring Light With Tripod Stand; $40

Ubeesize/Amazon

For a great light that doubles as a phone stand, you’ll want to try this combination tripod and ring light from UBeesize. This set comes with three different lighting rings—warm light, cool light, and day light—which can all snap directly onto the tripod. You can adjust each ring to 11 brightness levels, and the set even comes with a remote for your smartphone that can turn your camera on without awkwardly having to adjust it before a presentation.

Buy it: Amazon

5. Shure MV5 Digital Condenser Mic; $100

Shure/Amazon

You’ll feel like an old-timey radio host (and not just like you’re running through your weekly update with your boss) with this digital condenser mic from Shure. The microphone has a custom-tuned microphone to provide high-quality sound, and it has both iOS and USB connectivity to make it easy to link to whatever device you’re using. There's also a Shure app that syncs with your microphone for easy recording, editing, and sharing afterward.

Buy it: Amazon

6. Logitech Noise-Canceling Headset; $50

Logitech

A headset is a great solution for improving both sound and speaking quality, especially if you do more phone Zooms than video. This model from Logitech lets you easily adjust the volume or mute the microphone via its in-line audio control button, and it even has an LED indicator light so you’ll know whether you’re actually on mute during a meeting. These headphones are designed to cancel out any outside noises, but you can also easily adjust the microphone to muffle sound on your end, too (which makes it great for when you're snacking while chatting).

Buy it: Amazon

7. Ubeesize Phone Tripod; $14

UBeesize/Amazon

UBeesize’s portable tripod will ensure your Zoom game is always on point no matter where you are. This tripod is built to last, with flexible legs that are reinforced with a rubber coating, sturdy foam, and nonstick feet. And it comes with a remote control for your phone that can be used up to 30 feet away

Buy it: Amazon

8. Comfilife Gel-Enhanced Seat Cushion; $33

Comfilife/Amazon

Whether you’re working from home or commuting to the office part-time, many of us are sitting a lot more these days. To make your Zoom meeting feel more like a trip to the spa, a memory-foam seat cushion may be just what you need. This cushion is ergonomically designed to reduce pressure on your tailbone and improve your posture with each use. You can double up your back support with an additional lumbar support pillow, so you can sit up nice and tall for every meeting without discomfort.

Buy it: Amazon

9. Fictional Map Wall Art

Thehighlandloch/Redbubble

For a Zoom backdrop that’s much cooler than a green screen, hang up a map from your favorite novel or video game for a look that’s both stylish and personal. Many of Redbubble’s maps are custom-cut or custom-made to ensure that they’re high quality, and some also come with tools or materials to help with framing. The independent artists over at Redbubble have maps inspired by The Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Zelda, and more, so no matter what you’re into, you’ll be able to bring a little pizzazz everywhere you (virtually) go.

Buy it: Redbubble

10. Vintage Travel Posters; Various

vintagetreasure/Red Bubble

If you’re more into real places, Redbubble has an incredible wealth of vintage-inspired travel posters to give you that air of prestige and culture you never knew you needed until now. With posters for locations like Cote D'Azur, the Adirondacks, Amsterdam, and Chicago, your new wall art will make you feel like you’ve spent the last few months on vacation (even if your longest journeys these days consist of walking from your desk to the kitchen and back again).

Buy it: Redbubble

11. TIJN Blue Light Glasses; $16

TIJN/Amazon

Looking alert during meetings is always key, but it’s especially important during Zooms. Give your eyes a break with these blue light glasses from TIJN. The frames can effectively block 100 percent of harmful UV rays and relieve eye fatigue, allowing you to get through any grueling conference calls without looking tired. The frames are super light and abrasion-resistant, too, and they’ll be comfortable and durable enough to last you for however long virtual meetings are the norm.

Buy it: Amazon

This article contains affiliate links to products selected by our editors. Mental Floss may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

24 Illuminating Facts About Puberty

We get angry red acne; flamingos get beautiful pink plumage.
We get angry red acne; flamingos get beautiful pink plumage.
Valdiney Pimenta, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0

The road to adulthood is paved with mood swings, skin flare-ups, and so many physical changes that you might feel like a completely different person by the end. If you were an aphid, on the other hand, you wouldn’t go through puberty at all—instead, you’d basically be born pregnant.

Growing up looks drastically different for every species, and on this episode of The List Show, Mental Floss editor-in-chief Erin McCarthy is sharing some facts about this delicate period of maturation. From birds whose feathers explode with color to dogs that rebel against authority, pubescent animals are all pretty fascinating, to say the least.

That goes for humans, too. Did you know that left-handed kids hit puberty later than their right-handed counterparts? And what exactly causes boys’ voices to suddenly get so deep? Find out all this and more in the video below.

For more fascinating videos, subscribe to the Mental Floss YouTube channel here.