What Is This ‘Bird Theory’ Trend Going Viral on TikTok?

It feels like every time I open TikTok, there’s some new trend taking over the platform, with countless videos filling up my feed connected to the latest viral sensation. 

Between the dozens of “Beez in the Trap” videos occupying my feed the past few days are videos of individuals telling their partners about seeing birds. Yes, I said birds. Thousands of users are jumping on what has become known as the “Bird Theory” trend in which they tell their partner they saw a bird today and record their partner’s reaction.

So why have couples been flocking to TikTok talking about their encounters with birds they never saw? 

The Viral TikTok Bird Theory Trend is Based on the Bid Relationship Test

Ironically, these “Bird Theory” videos have nothing to do with bird videos or aren’t even about birds at all. The viral TikTok trend is all about testing your relationship by using a scientific method known as the “Bid Test” to gauge your partner’s engagement. 

While the trend has only just taken off on TikTok, the “Bid Theory” was established back in the '90s after researchers, led by Dr. John Gottman, studied a group of couples in hopes of identifying what helps make a healthy relationship. Gottman’s team asked the couples a variety of questions during initial interviews, and then brought the couples back six years later where the couples were divided into two groups: those who were still together and those who had since separated. 

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After reviewing the tapes from the couples’ interviews, he came to the conclusion that successful couples are attentive. They listen to one another, no matter the subject, and actively engage with their partner when the other person wants to speak and have a conversation. 

Gottman’s research established what would become one of the core principles for his philosophy for building successful relationships in that “healthy couples constantly make and accept bids to connect.” 

So What’s a Bid, and How Did a Bird Enter This Equation?

According to Gottman’s research, bids are essentially a request to connect. Bids can take on a number of forms including both verbal and nonverbal such as expressions, questions, physical outreach, or as TikTok has shown, telling a simple story about seeing a bird. 

In the case of the viral TikTok Bird Theory trend, users are essentially using the opening of “I saw a bird today” as a test of their connection to their partner by seeing how they will react to the comment. The hope from those partaking in the trend is that their partner will pass the test by actively engaging with the story, such as stopping what they’re doing to give their partner their attention, asking follow-up questions, and sharing enthusiasm about the bird sighting to create a conversation.

If their partner—or your partner when you inevitably join the trend—exhibits any of these types of responses, they pass the test. Which is a really good thing as Gottman's findings suggest those in relationships who actively engage with their partner's "bids" with active listening and engagement tend to be more successful and tend to last.

As for those who turn away from their partner, ignore their story, or dismiss the bid, in the same situation, well, you might have some work ahead according to Gottman’s findings…