7 Social Rules the Family Landline Forced Everyone to Learn

It's strange to think that the rules we build our society upon can change so much, but we can see just how much has been affected in simple things. The way we use our phones now is vastly different than what it was a generation ago, and even emojis or punctuation in texts can determine if someone is being rude. Before texting and smartphones, or even personal cell phones, we had a completely different set of rules to follow.

Having to share one phone with the rest of your family meant that there needed to be some ground rules. People didn't have a phone with them everywhere they went, so what was considered good etiquette around phones was simpler than today. You spent a lot of time thinking about when the best time to call was, or when it would be too bothersome.

These were some of the social rules that we all had to learn in order to use the family phone in a relatively harmonious fashion.

1. No Phone Calls Between 9:00 pm and 9:00 am
2. Greeting: State Your Name
3. Take a Message
4. 3-Ring Rule
5. No Hogging the Phone
6. No Calls During Dinner
7. Don't Interrupt/Eavesdrop

No Phone Calls Between 9:00 pm and 9:00 am

Unless it was an emergency, you never made a call after 9:00 pm. That would risk waking the whole house, and on weeknights, the adults would be especially angry because they had work in the morning. And even if the early bird was the one to get the worm, that phrase did not apply to the phone. Any non-urgent phone call before 9:00 am was seen as extremely rude. Sleep was a precious commodity, and we had to respect it.

Greeting: State Your Name

With personal cell phones, we know exactly who we're calling, and the person answering doesn't have to say anything more than "Hello." But a family landline meant you didn't know who would be picking up the phone. Etiquette dictated that you answer with a greeting and then give your name. If you didn't want to give your first name, you at least gave the family surname: "Hello, Smith residence."

Take a Message

If, after answering the phone, you learned that the call was for another family member who couldn't come to the phone, then you were expected to take a message. Most families had a notepad near the phone just for this purpose. Or, if you were one of the chaotic families that didn't write phone messages down, you just did your best to pass the message to its intended recipient before you forgot about it. Truly introverted people just let the phone ring so the answering machine would take the message for them, but that was technically breaking the social rule.

3-Ring Rule

Another rule of phone etiquette was to answer the phone within three rings. You didn't want to leave the caller waiting too long. If you were right next to the phone when it rang, you would usually let it ring one or two full times before picking up the receiver, but leaving it to ring four times called for an apology and a good excuse. Maybe that's why older generations instinctively answer their phones, even in places like movie theaters or museums. They've been trained to answer instead of hanging up.

No Hogging the Phone

One phone line for an entire family meant sharing call times. Kids and teens were not allowed to talk for more than an hour, unless permission had been granted ahead of time. Parents got more phone time because they made the rules, but they were also supposed to be mindful of others needing the phone. It may have seemed like your older sister was chatting with her boyfriend forever, but that was until your mom got on the phone to update your grandma on your family happenings. Might as well just walk to your friend's house and speak with them in person.

No Calls During Dinner

Dinnertime was family time, and phone calls that interrupted family time were huge faux pas. You were not supposed to make or take any calls during dinner, instead giving your full focus to your family while eating together. Telemarketers were a major part of breaking this rule, and the thought of being considered the same level of annoyance as those calls was enough to keep you from picking up the phone between 5:00 and 7:00 pm.

Don't Interrupt/Eavesdrop

It was insanely difficult to have a private conversation on the family landline because the phone was usually in a well-trafficked part of the house. That said, it was polite to try and find other rooms to be in when someone was taking a personal call. Interrupting your parents while they were on the phone was a big no-no, and you definitely got in trouble if they heard the click of the extension being picked up. Listening in was not okay to do, but it was sometimes inevitable with obnoxious siblings or nosy relatives.

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