10 Wild Mary Poppins Fan Theories

Buena Vista Home Entertainment
Buena Vista Home Entertainment

It took more than 50 years, but this week, Mary Poppins will finally get a sequel. Mary Poppins Returns promises to re-immerse families in the colorful, musical world of the world’s best nanny. There will be more dancing, more singing, and more animated penguins. But will it answer the longstanding questions about what Mary is and why she can fly?

Fans have been speculating about the source of Mary’s abilities, her relationship with Bert, and the identity of Andrew the dog for decades—and they’ve produced some truly inspired conspiracy theories along the way. Here are 10 theories that are either just wild enough to work, or just plain wild.

1. MARY POPPINS STUDIED AT HOGWARTS.

What explains Mary’s bottomless carpet bag? Or her ability to fly with an umbrella? It can only be magic, and where do people learn how to cast spells? At the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, of course. Multiple Reddit threads contend that Mary Poppins was a student there—either a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw—around the same time as Albus Dumbledore. From there, she studied Muggles in the field, posing as a nanny to learn more and identify gifted children. As for evidence supporting this claim, many of Mary’s enchanted accessories appear in the Harry Potter universe, from her bag (similar to Hermione’s in Deathly Hallows) to her magical mirror (Mirror of Erised, anyone?).

2. SHE’S A TIME LORD.

Another popular fan theory maintains that Mary Poppins is a Time Lord from Doctor Who, and Bert is her former companion. There’s her carpet bag, which is bigger on the inside. Then there’s her umbrella, which Redditors argue is an “amalgamation of her TARDIS and sonic screwdriver.” Mary feels compelled to help people but disappears when the job is done, barely saying goodbye.

3. SHE WAS BERT’S NANNY.

In “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” Bert sings that he was “afraid to speak” as a child, until he heard the nonsensical word that changed everything. But where did he learn “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”? Some fans suggest that Mary taught it to him when he was young—because she was his nanny. Bert is weirdly comfortable with her magic, and finds joy in the dullest jobs, just as Mary teaches the children to find the fun in chores. On top of all that, the dancing penguins seem incredibly familiar with Bert, perhaps because he has been visiting their universe for decades. The jury may be out on this one, but Emily Blunt buys it.

4. BERT AND MARY WERE MARRIED.

Alright, maybe she wasn’t Bert’s nanny. But could Mary Poppins have been Bert's wife? The theory goes that Bert and Mary were happily married, and desperately wanted children. Only Mary had trouble conceiving. Then she got sick. Bert picked up more and more odd jobs to pay her medical bills, but Mary passed away. She later returned as some kind of otherworldly being, working as a nanny to experience the motherhood she missed out on in life. But she eventually realized she’s not Jane or Michael’s mother and decided to move on, giving Bert some closure before she left for good.

5. EVERYONE IS ON DRUGS.

Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964)
Buena Vista Home Entertainment

Mary Poppins might seem bright and cheery, but one theory insists it’s actually a metaphor for drug addiction. Cracked has a whole five-point case, starting with Mary’s frequent pleas for time off and checkered work history. (Bert has an even harder time keeping a job.) She’s also prone to mood swings and spends a whole day in a two-dimensional world full of cartoons. Oh, and what’s the deal with Uncle Albert?

6. BERT IS RELATED TO MR. BANKS’S BOSS.

Dick Van Dyke is the only actor in Mary Poppins with dual onscreen roles. In addition to Bert, he plays the wizened Mr. Dawes, Sr., who runs the bank where Mr. Banks works. Fans on Reddit claim this is no coincidence. The elder Mr. Dawes is supposed to look like Bert, because he’s his father. (Or maybe his grandfather?) Among other things, it would explain why Bert’s Cockney accent is so bad. That’s not how he talks—that’s just a rich kid putting on an act.

7. MARY IS A GREEK GODDESS.

Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins (1964)
Buena Vista Home Entertainment

Did Mary descend from Mount Olympus? Multiple theories suggest she’s Hestia, the Greek goddess of the hearth, on a mission to bring peace back to the Banks's home. It would explain her magical powers, as well as her vanity in the presence of mere mortals.

8. MARY IS ACTUALLY JUST GOD.

This theory rests entirely on the comic book series The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which features a mysterious cloaked figure in its third volume. She emerges from the sky, carries a bag and umbrella, and speaks of her “concern for children.” But most importantly: she’s the only being powerful enough to take down an Antichrist. Here, Mary Poppins is a manifestation of God, a fact she underlines by mentioning her appearance on “every page” of the Bible.

9. Mary is an evil witch intent on killing the kids.

Not all witches are nice. Some Redditors believe that Mary is the mean kind of witch, one that torments kids for kicks—or sedates them with a “spoonful of sugar” so she can chop them up for potion ingredients.

10. ANDREW THE DOG IS MAUI from moana.

Before Mary Poppins even arrives, at least a dozen nannies respond to Mr. Banks’s advertisement. But a mysterious gust of wind blows them all away—and one Disney theorist claims a Moana character is responsible. That’s right: Maui, demigod of the wind and sea, orchestrated the whole thing so Mary would get the job. But where was he in the scene? Since Maui is a shapeshifter, the theory goes, he took the form of the Banks's family dog Andrew, who remains firmly on the ground as the wind picks up.

7 Massage Guns That Are on Sale Right Now

Jawku/Actigun
Jawku/Actigun

Outdoor exercise is a big focus leading into summer, but as you begin to really tone and strengthen your muscles, you might notice some tough knots and soreness that you just can’t kick. Enter the post-workout massage gun—these bad boys are like having a deep-tissue masseuse by your side whenever you want. If you're looking to pick one up for yourself, check out these brands while they’re on sale.

1. Actigun 2.0: Percussion Massager (Black); $128 (57 percent off)

Actigun massage gun.
Actigun

Don't assume you need a professional masseur to provide relief—this massage gun offers 20 variable speeds and can adjust the output power on its own according to pressure. Can your human massage therapist do that?

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2. JAWKU Muscle Blaster V2 Cordless Percussion Massage Gun; $260 (13 percent off)

Jawku massaging gun.
Jawku

This cordless, five-speed massager uses a design that's aimed to increase blood flow, release stored lactic acid, and relieve sore muscles through various vibrations.

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3. DEEP4s: Percussive Therapy Massage Gun for Athletes; $230 (23 percent off)

Re-Athlete massage gun.
Re-Athlete

Instant relief is an option with this massage tool, featuring five different attachments made to tackle any muscle group. You can squeeze in eight hours of massage time before you have to charge it again.

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4. Handheld Massage Gun for Deep Tissue Percussion; $75 (15 percent off)

Massage gun from Stackcommerce.
Stackcommerce

With five replaceable heads and six speed settings, this massage gun can easily adapt to the location and intensity of your soreness. And since it lasts up to three hours per charge, you won't have to worry about constantly plugging it in.

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5. The Backmate Power Massager; $120 (19 percent off)

Backmate massage gun.
Backmate

Speed is the name of the game here. The Backmate Power Massager is designed for fast, effective relief through its ergonomic design. Fast doesn’t need to mean short, either. After the instant relief, you can stimulate and distract your nervous system for lasting pain relief.

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6. ZTECH Percussion Massage Gun (Red); $80 (46 percent off)

ZTech massage gun.
ZTech

This massage gun looks a lot like a power drill, and, similarly, you can adjust its design for the perfect fit with six interchangeable heads that target different muscle areas.

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7. Aduro Sport Elite Recovery Massage Gun (Maroon); $80 (60 percent off)

Aduro massage gun.
Aduro

Tackle large muscle groups, the neck, Achilles tendon, joints, and small muscle areas with this single massage gun. Four massage heads and six intensity levels allow this tool to provide a highly customizable experience.

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The Writers of Avengers: Endgame Explain Why Captain America Wasn't Able to Lift Thor's Hammer

Chris Evans as Captain America.
Chris Evans as Captain America.
Marvel Studios

One of the best moments of Avengers: Endgame came when Captain America, played by Chris Evans, was worthy enough to lift Thor's hammer during the final fight with Thanos. Steve Rogers/Captain America's journey in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been one of the most interesting to watch, and seeing him lift Thor's hammer was a stunning conclusion to his arc. However, the moment left some fans wondering why Steve wasn't able to wield the weapon in prior battles.

ComicBook.com recently hosted a quarantine watch party of Avengers: Endgame, where the film's writers, Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, were asked why Steve didn't lift the hammer during the Avengers Tower party scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron. According to Markus, it had to do with Cap's best friend Bucky, a.k.a. the Winter Soldier. Markus said Cap couldn't lift the hammer because he knew the Winter Soldier had killed Tony Stark's parents. However, this information doesn't come to light until Captain America: Civil War, so Steve might have been burdened with the secret, making him unworthy to lift the hammer.

There have been other opinions on why Steve didn't life the hammer until Endgame. As ComicBook.com reported, Marvel Studios executive Louis D'Esposito has his own view on the matter.

"If you remember from Ultron, they were all sitting around in the Avengers complex in Manhattan, and there's a party, and they're all a bit inebriated, and they're loose, and they're having fun, and they're all trying to pick up the hammer," D'Esposito said. "It's Captain America's turn to try, and you look over to Thor's face, and he says, 'I think he might be able to do it,' but Cap doesn't pick it up. But Cap could've always picked it up. He didn't want to at that point because it would've not been right."

No matter the reasoning, watching Cap lift Thor's hammer was incredibly satisfying. Rewatch Avengers: Endgame, along with tons of other fun titles, with a subscription to Disney+ here.

[h/t ComicBook.com]

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