5 "I Slept Like A..." Analogies That Don't Reflect Reality

This story originally appeared in print in the August 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here.

Although handy for describing a good night’s sleep, these analogies don’t always match reality.

1. I SLEPT LIKE A ... BEAR

YOU SLEPT: 7 hours
PATTERN: Crepuscular (most active during twilight)
WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY USE IT: You’re energetic at dusk and dawn. You also have an innate ability to hold your bladder for months at a time.

2. I SLEPT LIKE A ... DOG

YOU SLEPT: 14 hours
PATTERN: Crepuscular
WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY USE IT: You’re drowsy in the middle of the day. You think people should just let you lie.

3. I SLEPT LIKE A ... LAMB

YOU SLEPT: 12 hours
PATTERN: Generally diurnal (most active during daylight)
WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY USE IT: Last night was great! But you know you’ll never doze like that ever again. (Grown sheep average four hours.)

4. I SLEPT LIKE A ... BABY

YOU SLEPT: 16 hours
PATTERN: Purportedly diurnal
WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY USE IT: You sleep a lot, but you wake up every two hours to change your pants.

5. I SLEPT LIKE A ... LOG

YOU SLEPT: 0 hours
PATTERN: Unknown
WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY USE IT: You did not sleep. You are a log.

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