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Sometimes, all you really need is a good laugh; it is the best medicine, after all.
Telling a good joke doesn’t always require an elaborate punchline setup or a drawn-out story; just a quick, clever one-liner is enough to brighten even the dreariest of days.
According to Reuters, humans have been telling jokes since 1900 B.C.; someone carved a joke into a clay tablet in ancient Sumer, and the rest is (hilarious) history! Today, comedians make a living by making people laugh, but even those who don’t do it professionally like to have a few jokes ready when the chance to leave a memorable impression presents itself.
These jokes are straightforward and easy to remember and share, whether you want to be the funniest person in the room or if you just need a pick-me-up. Besides, who doesn’t love a bit of lighthearted humor every once in a while?
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What do you call a bee from America? A USB.
If either of those jokes made you smile, you’ll love this list! Without further ado, here are 100 short, shareable jokes sure to leave you in stitches.
100 SHORT JOKES THAT WILL LEAVE YOU IN STITCHES
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They might crack each other up.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.
What do clouds wear under their clothes?
Thunderwear.
What did one wall say to the other?
"I'll meet you at the corner."
Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Sofishticated.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crummy.
What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
A thesaurus.
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a cow that plays music?
A moo-sician.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!"
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a duck that gets good grades?
A wise quacker.
Why did the clock get in trouble?
It kept tocking too much.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why was the stadium so cold?
It was full of fans.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Why did the orange stop rolling?
It ran out of juice.
Why did the mushroom get invited to every party?
Because he was a fun guy.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny.
Why did the pencil get a bad grade?
It had no point.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why did the chicken join a band?
It already had the drumsticks.
What did one hat say to the other?
"You stay here. I'll go on ahead."
Why did the calendar get nervous?
Its days were numbered.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Why did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZa.
Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
It didn't want to peel.
Why did the teddy bear skip dessert?
It was already stuffed.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the broom get promoted?
It was sweeping the competition.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
Why did the frog take the bus?
His car got toad.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
Shakespeare.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
Why did the astronaut break up with the moon?
He needed space.
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why did the cat sit on the computer?
It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
What do you call a cow with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
Fsh.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice.
What do you call a duck who loves fireworks?
A firequacker.
Why did the sandwich go to school?
It wanted to be a little bready.
What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra.
Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a bad case of the bytes.
Why did the pencil cross the road?
To get to the other side of the paper.
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
Your neigh-bor.
What do you call a cat that loves bowling?
An alley cat.
Why did the orange fail its driving test?
It kept peeling out.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves spicy food?
A chili-saurus.
Why did the cookie sit by itself?
It felt crumby.
What do you call a cow that plays video games?
A moo-gamer.
What do you call a dog that does construction?
A bulldozer.
Why did the book join the police force?
It wanted to go undercover.
What do you call a pig who knows everything?
A swine scholar.
Why did the apple stop halfway up the hill?
It ran out of core-age.
What do you call a bear who tells jokes?
A comedi-bear.
Why did the broom take a vacation?
It needed to sweep away for a while.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sleeping?
A stego-snorus.
Why did the computer get cold?
It left its Windows open.
What do you call a frog who loves basketball?
Michael Pondan.
Why did the banana go to the party?
It heard it was going to be a-peeling.
What do you call a dog that loves taking pictures?
A photo-pup.
Why did the clock go to the gym?
It wanted to work on its second hand.
What do you call a cow that just graduated?
A scholar-moo.
Why did the bicycle get detention?
It was always getting into spokes.
What do you call a dinosaur who loves gardening?
A plant-eating sauropod.
Why did the lemon fail the test?
It couldn't concentrate.
What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
A funny bunny.
Why did the joke go to school?
It wanted to get a little funnier.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
Why did the book go to the beach?
It wanted a good chapter in its life.
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
Why did the crayon quit its job?
