4 Popular Quotes Commonly Misattributed to Frida Kahlo

Quotes: they’re the answer to the feelings us common folk simply can’t put into words. But what happens when the so-called musings of your biggest idols are actually a facade? Sadly, that may be the case with your favorite Frida Kahlo quote.

Often associated with the surrealist movement—a label she famously rejected—Kahlo was a creative whose work was a lifelong exorcism of her own pain. She had numerous physical disabilities as a result of polio and a bus crash, which caused chronic pain throughout a life mostly spent within the confines of her Mexico City home until her death in 1954 at age 47. At the same time, that anguish was the fire behind her paintings—mainly portraits, but also the poems found in her recovered journals and letters.

That’s part of the reason so many of the most profound quotes posted on Pinterest, Tumblr, and Instagram have been attributed to her. But as much as we want to believe these words about love and life came from the same mind as "The Two Fridas," the truth is, many are simply products of confirmation bias or social media strategy. Here are four famous "Frida Kahlo quotes" that didn’t actually come from her mouth—or pen.

1. "I used to think I was the strangest person in the world..."
2. "In the end, I believe that we don't need to do anything to be loved."
3. "I'm not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you’re wrong."
4. "You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled."

"I used to think I was the strangest person in the world..."

This famously validating quote was practically the motto for misunderstood teenagers for some time. But maybe that's because it was written by a teenager: Rebecca Martin, rather than Frida Kahlo, whose own work explored themes of vulnerability, isolation, and pain. The 17-year-old penned and then submitted this quote to PostSecret, an anonymous community art project, back in 2008.

The most common version circulating is: "I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do."

Little did she know that the chosen background of her postcard—a haphazardly ripped-out magazine photo of Kahlo—would lead thousands to believe the words belonged to the late Mexican artist herself. Even the Museum of Modern Art in New York was fooled, tweeting Martin's words over a decade later and falsely crediting Kahlo.

"In the end, I believe that we don't need to do anything to be loved."

The irony of this self-worth quote is that to gain traction, it had to be pinned to a feminist icon. Given that Kahlo lived with debilitating physical pain—a reality she expressed through art—the quote certainly feels like something you’d find in one of her notebooks:

"And in the end, I believe that we don't need to do anything to be loved. We spend our lives trying to seem prettier, smarter. But I realized two things. Those who love us see us with their hearts and attribute qualities to us beyond those we really have. And those who don't want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts."

Except, you won’t find it there. Despite its ubiquity on social media, there’s no evidence of these words in Kahlo’s diary, letters, or interviews. It’s a Frida-coded sentiment, no doubt. But at the end of the day, it serves as a reminder of how easily we project our own need for validation onto our idols. Still, as far as fake news goes, this one’s relatively harmless. After all, a reminder that we’re lovable as we are isn’t such a bad thing to have floating around the digital ether.

"I'm not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you’re wrong."

Words well-spoken, Frida—or rather, well-spoken by whatever faceless wordsmith first posted this online. It’s a snippet of a longer, self-assured poem about relationships that’s almost always falsely attributed to a conversation between Kahlo and her husband, Diego Rivera. In full, it reads:

"I’m not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you’re wrong. I won’t even ask you to hug me when I need it most. I don’t ask you to tell me how beautiful I am, even if it’s a lie, nor write me anything beautiful. I won’t even ask you to call me to tell me how your day went, nor tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to thank me for everything I do for you, nor to care about me when my soul is down, and of course, I won’t ask you to support me in my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen to me when I have a thousand stories to tell you. I won’t ask you to do anything, not even be by my side forever. Because if I have to ask you, I don’t want it anymore."

While it sounds like something the emotionally-charged artist would say, there’s zero proof it exists in any of her writings—including her love letters to Rivera. It’s a classic example of Notes app poetry hijacking a historical figure to give a no-name’s breakup letter a sense of gravitas.

"You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled."

Yet another faux-Kahlo quote about the importance of being loved in any state, this one is actually a piece of modern poetry. Titled "Mereces un amor" and written by the Mexican poet Estefanía Mitre, the full passage reads:

"You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled, with everything and all the reasons that wake you up in a haste and the demons that won’t let you sleep."

It’s an evocative sentiment about embracing one's flaws, but it has no connection to the painter—unless you count the hundreds of times it has been pasted over her portraits to gain social media clout.

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