20 Hilarious Southern Sayings to Incorporate into Your Daily Life

English is the world’s most widely spoken language, and as a result, there are regional varieties of it dotted all over the world. Each of these has its fair share of local words and phrases that are seldom heard or used outside of their homelands—and nowhere is that perhaps more true than in the southern United States.

The South is home to countless extraordinarily colorful, inventive, and downright hilarious turns-of-phrase, which, thanks to local vocabularies, glossaries, and collections like the Dictionary of American Regional English, have been recorded for all to enjoy. 

1. A HOWLING COYOTE AIN’T STEALING NO CHICKENS 
2. AS WORTHLESS AS GUM ON A BOOT HEEL 
3. CATAWAMPTIOUSLY CHAWED UP 
4. DON’T STRETCH YOUR ARMS FURTHER THAN THE SLEEVES REACH 
5. DRUNKER THAN COOTER BROWN 
6. FLING A NUBBIN TO THE COW 
7. GRIP YOUR GALLUSES 
8. HOTTER THAN A FRESH FUCKED FEMALE FOX IN A FOREST FIRE 
9. I DON’T CARE IF IT HARELIPS THE QUEEN 
10. LET EVERY MAN SKIN HIS OWN SKUNK 
11. NERVOUS AS A LONG-TAILED CAT IN A ROOM FULL OF ROCKING CHAIRS 
12. NEVER FOLLOW AN EMPTY WAGON 
13. NEVER THUMP A FREE WATERMELON 
14. SHE DROVE HER DUCKS TO A BAD MARKET 
15. STAY OUT OF A DEADENIN’ IN A THUNDERSTORM 
16. STICK WITH TERRY, AND YOU’LL FART THROUGH SILK
17. TOTE YOUR OWN SKILLET 
18. TOUGH AS PUTTING SOCKS ON A ROOSTER 
19. YOU CAN’T GET ALL YOUR POSSUMS UP ONE TREE 
20. YOU’RE WHISTLING UP A GUM STUMP 

A HOWLING COYOTE AIN’T STEALING NO CHICKENS 

Or, in other words, you don’t need to worry about the threats or opponents you can hear or that you already know about. It’s the quieter ones that are always the more troublesome. 

AS WORTHLESS AS GUM ON A BOOT HEEL 

That is, worth absolutely nothing. 

CATAWAMPTIOUSLY CHAWED UP 

This is how you might describe something that has been “completely demolished [or] utterly defeated,” according to one 1848 definition, which adds that this is “one of the ludicrous monstrosities in which the vulgar language of the Southern and Western States abound.” 

DON’T STRETCH YOUR ARMS FURTHER THAN THE SLEEVES REACH 

Sleeves can only go so far, of course, which is why this expression advises against living beyond your means. 

DRUNKER THAN COOTER BROWN 

Although popular etymology claims this is inspired by a man who remained perpetually drunk in order to avoid becoming embroiled in the Civil War, the name “Cooter Brown” in this context might just be a playful extension of cootie, meaning a bed bug. 

FLING A NUBBIN TO THE COW 

This is a “good way to catch a calf,” according to one old expression from Georgia (a nubbin, in this context, being an ear of corn). Although that’s probably true in its literal sense, this phrase is apparently used metaphorically to imply that the best way to court a young woman is to treat her mother well. 

GRIP YOUR GALLUSES 

Galluses, or gallowses, are trouser braces in Scots, and this phrase is typically found in a far longer Scots or Irish expression—“the more the storm tries to whip off your happern [i.e. your shawl or wrap], the more you should grip your galluses”—that somehow found its way to the southern United States. The implication is that in difficult times, you should turn to your close friends. 

HOTTER THAN A FRESH FUCKED FEMALE FOX IN A FOREST FIRE 

There’s alliteration, and then there’s this. According to lexicographer Eric Partridge, this phrase has likely been doing the rounds in the southern US since the late 1800s.

I DON’T CARE IF IT HARELIPS THE QUEEN 

…or the pope, or the president, or every cow in Texas, state other versions of this expression of absolute determination to do something, regardless of the consequences. 

LET EVERY MAN SKIN HIS OWN SKUNK 

Or to put it another way, mind your own business. 

NERVOUS AS A LONG-TAILED CAT IN A ROOM FULL OF ROCKING CHAIRS 

Why only say “nervous as a cat” when you can go all out with this far more specific version? (The implication here is that the cat is scared its tail will get caught below one of the chairs as it rocks back and forth.)

NEVER FOLLOW AN EMPTY WAGON 

…because obviously nothing will fall off it that’s worth picking up. Or, in other words, don’t waste your time pursuing something futile. 

NEVER THUMP A FREE WATERMELON 

Thumping a watermelon is a means of testing for ripeness, but this expression means you should be happy with a free one regardless of how ripe or unripe it is. Or, to put it another way, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

SHE DROVE HER DUCKS TO A BAD MARKET 

This is a fairly euphemistic way of saying that you think a woman has made the wrong choice of husband. (Another version has the ducks being driven to a “poor pond.”)

STAY OUT OF A DEADENIN’ IN A THUNDERSTORM 

Just wise words to live by. A deadening is an area of forest where trees have been girdled—that is, had a ring of bark removed that stops nutrients from moving from roots to foliage, which eventually kills the tree over time. As a result, deadenings were not only associated with death in southern folklore, but in strong winds or storms, the deadened boughs of the tree could easily be brought down onto the heads of anyone below, making keeping out of their way in harsh weather a particularly wise idea. 

STICK WITH TERRY, AND YOU’LL FART THROUGH SILK

The Terry in question here is Terry Sanford, the Democratic Governor of North Carolina and two-time U.S. presidential candidate in the 1970s. “Farting through silk” has been a metaphor for living comfortably and luxuriously for a century, and Sanford apparently used his own name-checking version of it—implying that everything will be fine, if you follow me—during his military service in World War II. After the war, the phrase seemingly remained in use and was further popularized in Carolina, eventually dropping into wider use.

TOTE YOUR OWN SKILLET 

Handle personal matters yourself. 

TOUGH AS PUTTING SOCKS ON A ROOSTER 

In other words, it’s really tough (and all but pointless). “Like socks on a rooster” on its own, meanwhile, can be used to describe someone dressed in ill-fitting clothes, or something that shows poor-quality workmanship. 

YOU CAN’T GET ALL YOUR POSSUMS UP ONE TREE 

Or, don’t expect all of your plans to come to fruition all at the same time. 

YOU’RE WHISTLING UP A GUM STUMP 

Gum stumps are usually hollow, and so this saying implies doing something futile that wastes time and effort.