Internet slang has a tendency to fall out of fashion almost faster than the general population can even learn what it means. But sometimes it was never really in fashion in the first place.
Case in point: The FBI internet slang dictionary of 2014.
That year, after filing a Freedom of Information Act request, MuckRock user Jason Smathers obtained and posted an 83-page “list of shorthand and acronyms used on Twitter and other social media venues such as instant messages, Facebook, and MySpace,” per the report, that the FBI’s Directorate of Intelligence had compiled. It featured some 2800 terms, which the FBI said its employees “should find useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren.”
The media’s response was as merciless as it was gleeful. The Washington Post called the glossary “hilariously, frighteningly out of touch,” while Intelligencer highlighted 31 “insanely irrelevant” entries. From Boston.com: “FBI Releases List of What They Think is Internet Slang.”
To the FBI’s credit, they really did go all in on the research; there is, for example, every variation of LOL you can possibly think of. The list also includes countless terms that were and still are common—and that FBI agents who weren’t spending much free time on social media might not have been familiar with in 2014—from ICYMI (“in case you missed it”) to TIL (“today I learned”).
But the fact that their researchers decided to be so comprehensive worked against them, too—as there are many, many terms that any self-respecting, chronically online person can’t help but laugh at, either because they’re wildly esoteric, oddly defined, or just plain funny to see in an official FBI document.
Pop culture abbreviations come up from time to time—e.g. POTO for “Phantom of the Opera”—but it appears that the FBI may not have always realized when it was dealing with one. OLLG’s definition, “one less lonely girl,” isn’t capitalized, suggesting that someone wasn’t familiar with the Justin Bieber song “One Less Lonely Girl” and just thought it was a phrase people often said. Same goes for PLL, identified as “pretty little liars.” TARDIS, meanwhile, is simply “time and relative demensions in space,” as if that would help anyone who doesn’t already know what a TARDIS is.
There’s also the occasional abbreviation that isn’t specific to the internet, like UTI (“urinary track infection”). Not to mention all the initialisms that are so lengthy it would take more energy and focus to type out each letter than all the words in full—e.g. BTDTGTTSAWIO (“Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”) and IITYWTMWYBMAD (“If I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?”).
Overall, the dictionary has the general air of an “Is your child texting about” meme. And when your child is apparently sometimes texting about ICBINB (“I can’t believe it’s not butter,” lowercase), it’s hard not to BAGL (“bust a gut laughing”). Or, at the very least, C&G (“chuckle and grin”).
So while we applaud the FBI’s effort and recognize the value of the dictionary, we shan’t resist the urge to dunk on it. Here are 100 of our favorite terms.
Term | Meaning |
---|---|
ALOTBSOL | Always look on the bright side of life |
ANFAWFOS | And now for a word from our sponsor |
AUP | Another useless post/acceptable use policy |
AYSOS | Are you stupid or something? |
BAGL | Bust a gut laughing |
BBAM | Be back after meal |
BBB | Bugging beyond belief |
BFFLTDDUP | Best friends for life till death do us part |
BFUT | Best friends until tomorrow |
BH | Be happy/bloody hell/big head |
BIC | Believe it, comrade |
BOGSAT | Bunch of guys sitting around talking |
BSOFN | Big smile on face now |
BTDTGTTSAWIO | Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out |
BTWITIAILWU | By the way I think I am in love with you |
BWTHDIK | But what the heck do I know |
C&G | Chuckle and grin |
CRBT | Crying really big tears |
DCOI | Don’t count on it |
DEAR | Drop everything and read |
DITD | Down in the dumps |
DLTBBB | Don’t let the bed bugs bite |
DMAF | Don’t make a fuss |
DMIID | Don’t mind if I do |
DPYN | Don’t pick your nose |
DULM | Do you love me? |
DYHWIH | Do you hear what I hear? |
E2EG | Ear to ear grin |
FMTYEWTK | Far more than you ever wanted to know |
FNB | Football and beer |
FTASB | Faster than a speeding bullet |
GAC | Guilty as charged/get a clue |
GAMMD | Go ahead, make my day |
GFAK | Go fly a kite |
GIWIST | Gee, I wish I’d said that |
GTHBA | Good time had by all |
GTRM | Going to read mail |
HAN | Alone (Han Solo) |
HHIS | Hanging head in shame |
HTC | Hit the cell |
HUB | Head up butt |
IAB | I am bored |
IAL | I ain’t laughing/I actually laughed |
ICBINB | I can’t believe it’s not butter |
IHA | I hate acronyms |
IITYWTMWYBMAD | If I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink? |
INRS | It’s not rocket science |
ITIGBS | I think I’m going to be sick |
ITTET | In these tough economic times |
JAPAN | Just always pray at night |
KD | Kraft dinner |
KISS | Keep it simple stupid |
LLTA | Lots and lots of thunderous applause |
LMGTFY | Let me Google that for you |
LWP | Laughing with passion |
MAS | Mildly amused smirk |
NADT | Not a darn thing |
NALOPKT | Not a lot of people know that |
NTTAWWT | Not that there’s anything wrong with that |
OFOC | Overwhelming feelings of concern |
OGIM | Oh God, it’s Monday |
OLLG | One less lonely girl |
OMGZ | Alternative OMG |
PANS | Pretty awesome new stuff |
PDBAZ | Please don’t be a zombie |
PEEPS or PEEPZ | People |
PLL | Pretty little liar |
PMIGBOM | Put mind in gear before opening mouth |
PMYMHMMFSWGAD | Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn |
POTC | Pirates of the Carribean [sic] |
POTO | Phantom of the Opera |
POTS | Parents over the shoulder/plain old telephone system |
PU | That stinks |
SHCOON | Shoot hot coffee out of nose |
ST00F | Stuff |
SWY | Sowwy (sorry) |
TAGL | There’s a good lad |
TARDIS | Time and relative demensions [sic] in space |
TCFS | Too cool for school |
TFM2KAU2FO | That’s for me to know and you to find out |
TIF | That is funny |
TINALO | This is not a legal opinion |
TITT | Throw in the towel |
TLND | True love never dies |
TMSIDK | Tell me something I don’t know |
TMTOWTDI | There’s more than one way to do it |
TPS | Totally pointless stuff |
TTFW | Too tacky for words |
UTI | Urinary track [sic] infection |
W00T | Hurrah |
WDALYIC | Who died and left you in charge? |
WEML | Whatever, major loser |
WSA | Wow, strong arms |
WTFT | What the French toast? (polite WTF) |
WWBD | What would Batman do? |
WYLABOCTGWTR | Would you like a bowl of cream to go with that remark? |
WYSITWIRL | What you see is totally worthless in real life! |
YHGASP | You have got a serious problem |
YSS | You suck severely |
YWU | Yo, waz up? |