100 WTF Terms From the FBI’s 2014 Internet Slang Dictionary

PMIGBOM, as everyone always says. (“Put mind in gear before opening mouth.”)

Ah, the classic initialism for the classic phrase 'Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.'
Ah, the classic initialism for the classic phrase 'Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.' | (Edited from) Wong Yu Liang/Moment/Getty Images

Internet slang has a tendency to fall out of fashion almost faster than the general population can even learn what it means. But sometimes it was never really in fashion in the first place.

Case in point: The FBI internet slang dictionary of 2014.

That year, after filing a Freedom of Information Act request, MuckRock user Jason Smathers obtained and posted an 83-page “list of shorthand and acronyms used on Twitter and other social media venues such as instant messages, Facebook, and MySpace,” per the report, that the FBI’s Directorate of Intelligence had compiled. It featured some 2800 terms, which the FBI said its employees “should find useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren.”

The media’s response was as merciless as it was gleeful. The Washington Post called the glossary “hilariously, frighteningly out of touch,” while Intelligencer highlighted 31 “insanely irrelevant” entries. From Boston.com: “FBI Releases List of What They Think is Internet Slang.”

To the FBI’s credit, they really did go all in on the research; there is, for example, every variation of LOL you can possibly think of. The list also includes countless terms that were and still are common—and that FBI agents who weren’t spending much free time on social media might not have been familiar with in 2014—from ICYMI (“in case you missed it”) to TIL (“today I learned”).

But the fact that their researchers decided to be so comprehensive worked against them, too—as there are many, many terms that any self-respecting, chronically online person can’t help but laugh at, either because they’re wildly esoteric, oddly defined, or just plain funny to see in an official FBI document.

Pop culture abbreviations come up from time to time—e.g. POTO for “Phantom of the Opera”—but it appears that the FBI may not have always realized when it was dealing with one. OLLG’s definition, “one less lonely girl,” isn’t capitalized, suggesting that someone wasn’t familiar with the Justin Bieber song “One Less Lonely Girl” and just thought it was a phrase people often said. Same goes for PLL, identified as “pretty little liars.” TARDIS, meanwhile, is simply “time and relative demensions in space,” as if that would help anyone who doesn’t already know what a TARDIS is.

There’s also the occasional abbreviation that isn’t specific to the internet, like UTI (“urinary track infection”). Not to mention all the initialisms that are so lengthy it would take more energy and focus to type out each letter than all the words in full—e.g. BTDTGTTSAWIO (“Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”) and IITYWTMWYBMAD (“If I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?”).

Overall, the dictionary has the general air of an “Is your child texting about” meme. And when your child is apparently sometimes texting about ICBINB (“I can’t believe it’s not butter,” lowercase), it’s hard not to BAGL (“bust a gut laughing”). Or, at the very least, C&G (“chuckle and grin”).

So while we applaud the FBI’s effort and recognize the value of the dictionary, we shan’t resist the urge to dunk on it. Here are 100 of our favorite terms.

Term

Meaning

ALOTBSOL

Always look on the bright side of life

ANFAWFOS

And now for a word from our sponsor

AUP

Another useless post/acceptable use policy

AYSOS

Are you stupid or something?

BAGL

Bust a gut laughing

BBAM

Be back after meal

BBB

Bugging beyond belief

BFFLTDDUP

Best friends for life till death do us part

BFUT

Best friends until tomorrow

BH

Be happy/bloody hell/big head

BIC

Believe it, comrade

BOGSAT

Bunch of guys sitting around talking

BSOFN

Big smile on face now

BTDTGTTSAWIO

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out

BTWITIAILWU

By the way I think I am in love with you

BWTHDIK

But what the heck do I know

C&G

Chuckle and grin

CRBT

Crying really big tears

DCOI

Don’t count on it

DEAR

Drop everything and read

DITD

Down in the dumps

DLTBBB

Don’t let the bed bugs bite

DMAF

Don’t make a fuss

DMIID

Don’t mind if I do

DPYN

Don’t pick your nose

DULM

Do you love me?

DYHWIH

Do you hear what I hear?

E2EG

Ear to ear grin

FMTYEWTK

Far more than you ever wanted to know

FNB

Football and beer

FTASB

Faster than a speeding bullet

GAC

Guilty as charged/get a clue

GAMMD

Go ahead, make my day

GFAK

Go fly a kite

GIWIST

Gee, I wish I’d said that

GTHBA

Good time had by all

GTRM

Going to read mail

HAN

Alone (Han Solo)

HHIS

Hanging head in shame

HTC

Hit the cell

HUB

Head up butt

IAB

I am bored

IAL

I ain’t laughing/I actually laughed

ICBINB

I can’t believe it’s not butter

IHA

I hate acronyms

IITYWTMWYBMAD

If I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?

INRS

It’s not rocket science

ITIGBS

I think I’m going to be sick

ITTET

In these tough economic times

JAPAN

Just always pray at night

KD

Kraft dinner

KISS

Keep it simple stupid

LLTA

Lots and lots of thunderous applause

LMGTFY

Let me Google that for you

LWP

Laughing with passion

MAS

Mildly amused smirk

NADT

Not a darn thing

NALOPKT

Not a lot of people know that

NTTAWWT

Not that there’s anything wrong with that

OFOC

Overwhelming feelings of concern

OGIM

Oh God, it’s Monday

OLLG

One less lonely girl

OMGZ

Alternative OMG

PANS

Pretty awesome new stuff

PDBAZ

Please don’t be a zombie

PEEPS or PEEPZ

People

PLL

Pretty little liar

PMIGBOM

Put mind in gear before opening mouth

PMYMHMMFSWGAD

Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn

POTC

Pirates of the Carribean [sic]

POTO

Phantom of the Opera

POTS

Parents over the shoulder/plain old telephone system

PU

That stinks

SHCOON

Shoot hot coffee out of nose

ST00F

Stuff

SWY

Sowwy (sorry)

TAGL

There’s a good lad

TARDIS

Time and relative demensions [sic] in space

TCFS

Too cool for school

TFM2KAU2FO

That’s for me to know and you to find out

TIF

That is funny

TINALO

This is not a legal opinion

TITT

Throw in the towel

TLND

True love never dies

TMSIDK

Tell me something I don’t know

TMTOWTDI

There’s more than one way to do it

TPS

Totally pointless stuff

TTFW

Too tacky for words

UTI

Urinary track [sic] infection

W00T

Hurrah

WDALYIC

Who died and left you in charge?

WEML

Whatever, major loser

WSA

Wow, strong arms

WTFT

What the French toast? (polite WTF)

WWBD

What would Batman do?

WYLABOCTGWTR

Would you like a bowl of cream to go with that remark?

WYSITWIRL

What you see is totally worthless in real life!

YHGASP

You have got a serious problem

YSS

You suck severely

YWU

Yo, waz up?

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