Here's Why You Can't Keep Your Loved One's Skull

hayatikayhan/iStock via Getty Images
hayatikayhan/iStock via Getty Images

Even if showcasing your grandfather’s skull on your living room mantle is the type of offbeat tribute he absolutely would have loved, your chances of making it happen are basically zilch. Mortician Caitlin Doughty explains exactly why in her new book Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?: Big Questions From Tiny Mortals About Death, excerpted by The Atlantic.

Having written permission from dear old Gramps stating that you are allowed to—and, in fact, should—display his skull after his death simply isn’t enough, for two reasons. First of all, most funeral homes lack the equipment required to decapitate a corpse and thoroughly de-flesh the skull. Doughty admits that she doesn’t even know what that process would entail, though her best guess for a proper cleaning involves dermestid beetles, which museums and forensic labs often use to “delicately eat the dead flesh off a skeleton without destroying the bones.” Unfortunately, the average funeral home doesn’t keep flesh-eating beetles on retainer.

The second hindrance to your macabre mantle statement piece is a legal matter. In order to maintain respect for the dead, abuse-of-corpse laws prevent funeral homes from handing over corpses or bones, but the terms differ widely from state to state. Kentucky’s law, for example, prohibits using a corpse in any way that would “outrage ordinary family sensibilities,” but leaves it entirely open to interpretation how an “ordinary family” would behave.

Sometimes, of course, it’s relatively obvious. Doughty recounts the case of Julia Pastrana, who suffered from hypertrichosis, a condition that caused hair growth all over her face and body. Her husband had her corpse taxidermied and displayed it in freak shows during the 19th century as a money-making scheme—a clear example of corpse abuse. Since the laws are so ambiguous, however, funeral professionals err on the side of caution.

Funeral homes also must submit a burial-and-transit permit for each body so the state has a record of where that body went, and the usual options are burial, cremation, or donation to science. “There is no ‘cut off the head, de-flesh it, preserve the skull, and then cremate the rest of the body’ option,” Doughty says. “Nothing even close.”

If you’re thinking the laws sound vague enough that it’s worth a shot, law professor and human-remains law expert Tanya Marsh might convince you otherwise. As she told Doughty, “I will argue with you all day long that it isn’t legal in any state in the United States to reduce a human head to a skull.”

The laws about buying or selling human remains also vary by state, and are “vague, confusing, and enforced at random,” according to Doughty. Many privately sold bones come from India and China, and, though eBay has banned the sale of human remains, there are other ways of procuring a stranger's skull online “if you are willing to engage in some suspect internet commerce,” Doughty says.

[h/t The Atlantic]

Kodak’s New Cameras Don't Just Take Photos—They Also Print Them

Your Instagram account wishes it had this clout.
Your Instagram account wishes it had this clout.
Kodak

Snapping a photo and immediately sharing it on social media is definitely convenient, but there’s still something so satisfying about having the printed photo—like you’re actually holding the memory in your hands. Kodak’s new STEP cameras now offer the best of both worlds.

As its name implies, the Kodak STEP Instant Print Digital Camera, available for $70 on Amazon, lets you take a picture and print it out on that very same device. Not only do you get to skip the irksome process of uploading photos to your computer and printing them on your bulky, non-portable printer (or worse yet, having to wait for your local pharmacy to print them for you), but you never need to bother with ink cartridges or toner, either. The Kodak STEP comes with special 2-inch-by-3-inch printing paper inlaid with color crystals that bring your image to life. There’s also an adhesive layer on the back, so you can easily stick your photos to laptop covers, scrapbooks, or whatever else could use a little adornment.

There's a 10-second self-timer, so you don't have to ask strangers to take your group photos.Kodak

For those of you who want to give your photos some added flair, you might like the Kodak STEP Touch, available for $130 from Amazon. It’s similar to the regular Kodak STEP, but the LCD touch screen allows you to edit your photos before you print them; you can also shoot short videos and even share your content straight to social media.

If you want to print photos from your smartphone gallery, there's the Kodak STEP Instant Mobile Photo Printer. This portable $80 printer connects to any iOS or Android device with Bluetooth capabilities and can print whatever photos you send to it.

The Kodak STEP Instant Mobile Photo Printer connects to an app that allows you to add filters and other effects to your photos. Kodak

All three Kodak STEP devices come with some of that magical printer paper, but you can order additional refills, too—a 20-sheet set costs $8 on Amazon.

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Cheesy Like Sunday Morning: Kraft Declares Mac and Cheese a Breakfast Food

Your morning routine just got cheesier.
Your morning routine just got cheesier.
Business Wire

If you take a moment to think about so-called “breakfast foods,” you’ll realize that most of them are just slightly different iterations of foods that aren’t limited to morning meals. Muffins are basically cupcakes with less frosting, and Canadian-style bacon looks a lot like pork loin (it is). Once you’ve broken down these breakfast barriers in your mind, you’re just one small step away from eating macaroni and cheese at 7 a.m.—which, according to Kraft, is totally acceptable.

As CNN reports, Kraft is releasing boxes of its classic mac and cheese with the word breakfast written where it usually says dinner. It’s a way to make parents feel better about deviating from societal expectations as they try to keep their cantankerous kids fed and happy during the current pandemic.

“As a brand loved by the entire family, we’ve learned Kraft Mac & Cheese isn’t just for dinner,” Kraft Heinz spokesperson Kelsey Cooperstein said in a press release. “A Kraft Mac & Cheese breakfast is a win-win for families at a time when they need all the wins they can get.”

Apparently, quite a few people have already mentally removed dinner from the box: in a survey of 1000 parents, Kraft found that 56 percent of them had whipped up morning mac and cheese more often during lockdown. And if they felt a little guilty for not breaking out the waffle iron, Kraft is hoping to make sure they don’t anymore.

Macaroni and cheese lovers can try to snag a breakfast box by tweeting with the hashtags #KMCforBreakfast and #Sweepstakes, and you’ll see a reply to your tweet with a link that’ll reveal if you’ve won. The campaign is running through Friday, August 7, and Kraft will donate 10 boxes of mac and cheese to the nonprofit organization Feed the Children for every entry (winner or not).

Even if you don’t win a designated breakfast box, there’s no reason you can’t appropriate a dinner one for daybreak. In fact, why limit yourself to classic Kraft? Cheetos-flavored mac and cheese is coming to shelves, too.

[h/t CNN]