Hellvetica Is the Typeface of Your Nightmares

Zephyr18/iStock via Getty Images
Zephyr18/iStock via Getty Images

If you spot a slack-jawed graphic designer staring at their computer screen with an expression of horror, they haven’t just seen a ghost—they’ve seen Hellvetica.

Though the terrible typeface is meant as a Halloween-themed take on the traditionally pleasing Helvetica, it doesn’t contain jagged edges, dripping blood, or any other characteristically spooky elements you might imagine.

Instead, it’s just really poorly spaced. In typography, the process of adjusting the space between letters is called kerning. While you probably peruse materials typed in well-kerned fonts without thinking about letter spacing at all, sloppy kerning can make things pretty difficult to read.

According to The Verge, the deliberate kerning catastrophe that is Hellvetica was masterminded by New York-based creative directors Zack Roif and Matthew Woodward, who may have just become the graphic design industry’s first supervillains.

“Kern in hell,” the website states, along with “Welcome to type purgatory,” and “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog and into the underworld,” all typed in the visually abhorrent Hellvetica.

It also features a fake quote from the Swiss creator of Helvetica, Max Miedinger, who died in 1980 and is undoubtedly rolling in his grave. “What have you done?” he supposedly said.

However, it did pique the interest of the diabolical founder of hell itself.

“I don’t hate it,” Satan said.

If you want to partake in the pandemonium by typing in Hellvetica this Halloween or forever, you can download it here.

[h/t The Verge]

Jabba the Hutt Leaves Tatooine for Your Front Lawn

Amazon
Amazon

From life-sized Yoda LEGO sets to a pair of comfy Chewbacca slippers, Star Wars fans are always showing their love of the blockbuster franchise in unique ways. But now, you can outdo them all by decorating your lawn with a giant inflatable Jabba the Hutt, which you can find on Amazon for $110.

Measuring 6 feet in height by 8 feet in length, this plasticized Jabba isn’t nearly as intimidating without Bib Fortuna by his side—nor as disgusting without a bowl full of Klatooine paddy frogs to snack on—but he lights up! He’s also got a built-in fan for easy inflation and comes with a set of stakes so that, just like in Return of the Jedi, he stays firmly planted. Unfortunately, digging your own Rancor pit for Jabba to lord over probably goes against most municipal building codes, but this intergalactic gangster works great as a solo act.

Think you know everything about Star Wars? Check out this list of 50 facts you might be surprised to learn.

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Naples, Florida, Resort’s Bottomless Bloody Mary Bar Costs $35 and Offers 48,000 Flavor Combinations

The Catch of The Pelican
The Catch of The Pelican

There's no limit to the snacks, garnishes, and full-fledged meals that can be served on top of a Bloody Mary. And at the Naples Grande Beach Resort in Naples, Florida, you don't have to edit yourself when assembling the cocktail. The bottomless Bloody Mary bar at the hotel's Catch of the Pelican restaurant has enough ingredients to make 48,000 possible combinations, and guests can access them all for $35, Travel + Leisure reports.

The drinks served at this bar start with either red or green Bloody Mary mix and vodka, or tequila if you want to make yours a Bloody Maria. You can dip the rim of your glass in one of the eight salt and spice mixtures created in house and up the heat factor with a dash of hot sauce—20 brands of which are available.

But the garnishes are where the bar gets serious. With 75 toppings to choose from, the spread looks more like a Vegas buffet than a Bloody Mary bar. Options include classics like olives and celery, as well as over-the-top indulgences like egg rolls, jalapeño poppers, and fried ravioli.

A single drink from the bar costs $14, but $35 for the bottomless option isn't bad if you think of the garnishes as all-you-can-eat brunch. The Catch of the Pelican also sells brunch items that aren't served on top of cocktail glasses. For diners looking for a more simple drink to go with their meal, there's a make your own mimosa bar.

The hotel restaurant serves brunch every weekend from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. If you can't make it to Naples to try the Bloody Mary bar in person, you can experience the glory in the pictures below.

Bloody Mary Bar.
The Catch of The Pelican

Bloody Mary bar.
The Catch of The Pelican

Bloody Mary bar.
The Catch of The Pelican

Bloody Mary.
The Catch of The Pelican

[h/t Travel + Liesure]

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