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In August, I revealed some of the more obscure superpowers of comic book heroes and villains over the years. The list attracted plenty of comments from people who named other ridiculous superhero powers, inspiring me to write a sequel. Here are seven more powers bestowed on superheroes – not just in comic books, but also on television – that should be remembered.
1. The Power to Stop Timepieces
A forgotten character from the Golden Age of comic books, Mister Midnite first appeared in Silver Streak Comics in 1939. While many writers were dreaming up cool powers for new superheroes to cash in on the success of Superman, the brains at little-known Comic House Publishers came up with Mister Midnite – alias “wealthy young sportsman” Neal Carruthers – who possessed a unique power. When he called out “Stop, time!” he could stop…time? Well, not exactly. He could only stop clocks. He only lasted two issues, perhaps because his publisher realized that there was only so much you can do with that power. Fortunately, he never had to battle Uri Geller.
2. Super-Ventriloquism
Another also-ran from the Golden Age, the Echo’s power was to, er, throw his voice. This works well for him in his day job (he’s a ventriloquist), but also in his work as an amateur detective, tricking villains by making them think that they’re surrounded by cops, when it’s really the Echo saying “We’ve got him covered!” – and making them think that the voice is coming from behind them. Best of all, you never see his lips move! He first appeared in Yankee Comics (1941) and somehow fooled crooks for the next two years. In reality, his name was Jim Carson, though his chemist brother, who helped him fight crime, somehow had the name Dr Doom. (Obviously, not the famous Fantastic Four villain.)
3. Independence Day Powers
In 1966, DC Comics came up with Dial H for Hero, which was about a teenager named Robby Reed who finds a special dial. When he dials H-E-R-O, it transforms him into a superhero – a different one each time. In 1981, the concept was revisited, when two teenagers accidentally found these dials in a haunted house and were magically transformed into adult superheroes. The cleverest part of this idea is that the heroes were invented by the readers themselves. The readers weren’t paid any royalties (though they were sent a nifty Dial H for Hero t-shirt), but as the heroes never appeared more than once, they didn’t miss out on much.
A pity, as it would have been great to see the further adventures of Balloon Boy, Blazerina, Raggedy Doll and Fuzz Ball (who can bounce around stomping on villains), Lavender Sky-Writer, or the Mighty Moppet (whose baby bottle squirts a liquid to shrink his enemies down to his size). But of the hundreds of dialed-up heroes, few were cooler than the Yankee Doodle Kid, whose super-patriotic powers would leave Captain America to shame. The Kid, one of Robby Reed’s heroes from 1966, was a one-man Fourth of July machine, generating fireworks from his eyes, cherry bomb missiles and picture-display illusions from his fingers. Great for defending America against criminals… then celebrating afterwards.
4. The Power to Spread Germs
DC also gave us The Legion of Substitute Heroes, with such heroes as Color Kid, Porcupine Pete, Double-Header (with two heads – and that’s it) and Infectious Lass, whose power (which she can’t fully control) is to carry assorted diseases and spread them to other people. While she boasts the spread of “bubonic plague, syphilus, Spanish flu, all manner of mutant sexual diseases,” she’s more likely to give you a dumb disease like gender re-alignment virus, which temporarily turned Color Kid into “Color Queen.” Admittedly, this was meant to be ridiculous. The Substitute Heroes are the ones whose powers were too silly or useless to get them into the more prestigious Legion of Super-Heroes. And as the Legion of Super-Heroes has included the likes of Bouncing Boy, Dream Girl and Matter-Eater Lad, this must surely be rather insulting.
5. The Power to Transform Bad Words
Before they won the rights to use Spider-Man, the PBS educational show The Electric Company introduced a new hero called Letterman in 1971, in a series of animated cartoons. Letterman – “faster than a rolling O, more powerful than a silent E, able to leap a capital T” – would fly to the scene of a problem a fix it by plucking letters from his sweatshirt, changing bad words into good words. He would change “gun” to “bun”, or “tickle” to “pickle” (revealing, presumably, that “tickle” is a bad word). If he had enough letters, no doubt he could change “superhero” into “what a ridiculous superpower.”
6. The Power of Squirrels
Spider-Man, Batman, Wolverine – some of the coolest superheroes have the abilities of the toughest or most fearsome animals. In 1992, Marvel Comics introduced high-school student Doreen Green, a mutant with the abilities of…squirrels. Though this is cooler than it might sound, as Squirrel Girl (what else?) has a semi-prehensile tail, a retractable knuckle spike, enlarged incisors, super-strength and an empathic bond with squirrels. Oh, and she’s cute. With her powers, she has singlehandedly defeated Doctor Doom (the villain, not the Echo’s brother), and is a valuable member of a team called the Great Lakes Champions. Still, a prehensile tail isn’t quite as awesome as spiderwebs…
7. Magical Nose Hair
Oh yes. The Japanese cartoon series Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, which began in 2003, is about a 31st-century superhero of that name, with a magical yellow afro, who uses his nose hair to strangle or otherwise subdue his enemies – specifically an evil emperor who wants to turn everyone bald. (If only this villain could use his power for good deeds, like removing nose hairs.) Somehow, this ran for 76 episodes, each of which were even dubbed into English. If you thought Pokemon was as weird as Japanese animation could get, you might want to reconsider.
Mark Juddery is a writer and historian based in Australia. To see what else he’s written, visit markjuddery.com.
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Comments (18)
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Letterman’s powers may have been ridiculous, but he sure had good connections. His arch enemy, “Spell Binder” was voiced by Zero Mostel, Letterman himself was voiced by Gene Wilder and the adventures were narrated by Joan Rivers.
posted by gmsc on 11-23-2008 at 4:41 pm
A few years ago, my friends and I all dressed up like obscure comic book characters for Halloween. I was a very sultry Squirrel Girl. I think most people thought I was either a squirrel or a female Wookie.
posted by Karina on 11-23-2008 at 5:20 pm
You had me until you took a swipe at Legion of Super-Heroes– at the very least, it shows that anybody unfamiliar with a topic can engage in the lazy mental exercise of ridiculing something taken out of its proper context. If anything, Dream Girl– an entertaining, and essential, character– was a superb foil for Brainiac 5 in their continuous struggle of intuition vs analytical science.
Still, I guess it’s just easier to lightheartedly jest about comic books rather than discuss them as a viable, profound artistic medium– even as they present outlandish scenarios.
posted by L on 11-23-2008 at 10:41 pm
Oh L. Get over yourself! I love comics as much as the next nerdy gal. I’ve had more discussions than I can count about comics as an art form and as a way to explore some of society’s deep-seated fears and problems and so on and so forth. But even I can admit that a character like Matter-Eater Lad, while a vital part of the Legion, is ridiculous. And I feel compelled to defend the author against your “lazy” slur. Anyone who can take the time to find out anything about Squirrel Girl is by no means lazy!
posted by Christina on 11-23-2008 at 11:39 pm
Bo-bobo was meant as an anime parody as well. Anime fans will find many references to other shows and characters. Yes, his ability is battling with his nose hair, but more specifically his power could be more accurately described as surrealism, as many of the battles play out more by confusing the opponents, as well as the viewers…
posted by icusmiling on 11-24-2008 at 1:02 am
Christina– in this age of wikipedia and google, finding out about Squirrel Girl is hardly a matter of difficulty. For one thing, she’s a surprisingly (… and hilariously!) popular character who pops up often in discussion, albeit in a slightly ironic fashion.
That being said, this article and the one that precedes it just read like a particularly lazy fluff piece, not unlike those “Top 10 Such-And-Such” that are regularly sprinkled across publications that lack more solid content. I just expect better things of mentalfloss, I suppose.
Regardless, I don’t want to further derail any discussion to be had on this topic, so please continue as you were.
posted by L on 11-24-2008 at 1:26 am
It really reminded me of my good old school days…very nice
posted by Sachin on 11-24-2008 at 5:23 am
Great article. Tickle wasn’t a “bad word” The villan(s) were using tickles to cause everyone to laugh uncontrollably while they committed their nerfarious deeds.
posted by Gunner on 11-24-2008 at 8:51 am
What’s wrong with it being a fluff article. I am sure you can find plenty of deep analysis about comics on the internet, but everyone has to start somewhere. As someone who just purchased his first graphic novel (Watchmen) I found this article pretty enjoyable. It gave me some insight to a bit of the comic world outside of superman/spiderman/batman. I think that was the audience this was aiming for.
Captcha: SUSAN row…. where is she rowing?
posted by Doug on 11-24-2008 at 9:01 am
Okay, Karina, tell us where we can see the pics. You owe it to all of us Squirrel Girl fans.
posted by 8rustystaples on 11-24-2008 at 10:34 am
L, please clarify: are you joking or serious?
posted by Admiral Byrd on 11-24-2008 at 10:34 am
Wow… some people really get worked up over nothing…
Anywho, I found this article quite entertaining. I´m not a comic book fan but this took me back to my childhood. I LOVED the Legion of Super-Heroes. Thanks for bringing back those memories!! :)
posted by GTT on 11-24-2008 at 10:57 am
Did Squirrel girl come out before or after the Tick cartoon series?
In season 3, the episode “The Tick vs. Education”, the Tick teaches some wannabes how to be a superhero. One member of his class is Squirrel Girl. He asks about her power and she says, “I like squirrels.” Later, squirrels come to her aid, just because she likes them.
You could fill several blogs with lame powers from the Tick series.
posted by Bryan on 11-24-2008 at 11:38 am
Bryan: I believe The Tick character was actually The Flying Squirrel. Get it right or I shall deploy the middle child!!
posted by rexology on 11-24-2008 at 6:41 pm
Um, they left out a lot about Bobobo, which, come to think of it, is probably a good thing. He can also summon random people by opening his afro, rely on (or abuse) his friends to fight and combine with many of his friends for more powers. Anyone who wants more than that should go to Wikipedia or something. Seriously, it’s REALLY weird. The damsel-in-distress is usually distressed by the heroes, not the villains.
posted by octopus103 on 11-24-2008 at 8:08 pm
It must be noted (if it’s not all that obvious) that “Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo” is more comedy and satire than something one would find in, say, Silver Surfer comics. Yes, it is really weird, but it is intentionally funny. It’s not uncommon that the heroes are mocking the criminals (and the criminals relate to the audience when this is occurring).
My favorite character is probably Baby Heppokomaru, whose head falls off (and subsequently reverts to a baby-like personality), but nonetheless has control over when he’s grown-up and when he’s “immature” for his age. Now, tell me this isn’t satire.
jj
posted by John Joachim on 11-25-2008 at 1:04 pm
Didn’t the “Dial H for Hero” kids in the 80s dial Horror once? I seem to remember Superman being called in to take care of the problem!
posted by Jude on 12-12-2008 at 10:59 pm
Two teenagers invented one of the best known superheroes of all time. Who was the superhero, who were the teenagers and in what city did they live?
posted by Carmela Anthony on 6-12-2009 at 1:07 am